My 6 year old is frightened by a voice

[bossis]

I wanted to share my sons experience with hearing voices. He only recently talked to me of this (yesterday) but it’s really scaring me.

First, I’d like to share a little of his background. He was born prematurely (3 1/2 months early), and had a level 4 brain bleed, with a very good recovery from it – no cerebral palsy as the Drs. had felt would be the case then. I am an older mom (I was 43 when he was born). He’s had a very normal upbringing, and although he was a bit late in walking and talking, he’s shown few physical or emotional side effects. Academically he struggles a bit with reading, but has a normal IQ (as far as we can tell – he’s had some testing with our school speech teacher). He is outgoing enough – attends daycare and has several little friends, gets along well with his peers, and is well –liked by teachers and aids in the classroom. He adores his older brothers – (one age 21, who is in college) and the other, age 18, who just graduated and will be attending a local college in our state this fall. He is somewhat distressed by Brandon’s graduation, and is fearful of sleeping alone right now.

There is also a case history of mental illness on my side of the family (I’m his mom). Both my grandmother on my father’s side, and my brother suffered from delusions. Grandma (we called her busia, as she was polish), was labeled schizophrenic, and my brother was labeled manic depressive. Busia spent most of her life in a mental institution, and my brother had several major manic and depressive episodes that started when he was about 15, and carried through young adulthood, until they found a medication that worked for him. He stayed on his meds for about 15 years, and slowly weaned off of them within the last 4 years due to side affects they were causing him. He just graduated from the seminary, and will be ordained a Catholic Priest in October. He had no major relapses after about age 25 (He is now 40).

My son is a diminutive 6 year old. He’s thin, and very athletic (his older brothers are both very athletic also – playing football, basketball, and baseball), and was playing yesterday evening while I was on the computer. He likes to play with little figurines (iron man, spider man) when he’s in the house, and he was eating pretzels. Suddenly he turned to me with tears in his eyes and obvious distress on his face, and said, “there’s a voice in my head, and it’s saying that if I don’t eat more pretzels, my family will become aliens.”

I did what any mom would do, quizzed him about the games he was playing, asked him if there was something he had done or played during the day to see if that might have prompted this reaction. He’s never liked the movie ET, it scares him. He also is enamored with iron man, and said that the “aliens” in his mind look like the drone robots in the iron man movie. I listened, and told him not to worry, etc, we cuddled watched a little TV, and went to bed. I completely forgot about it until this morning.

He woke up and came into my bedroom this morning, and brought it up again. He said the voice tells him he needs to do things over again, if they’re not good enough ( like shooting a basketball), or shutting the door, etc. We talked quite at length about it (I was very calm and accepting – as if it was normal – even though this great sense of dread was deepening inside of me as we talked), and then tried to get him to refocus on other things – getting dressed eating breakfast, etc, to get him out of his compulsive desire to focus on the subject.

Since then, I have been researching the topic online, and found your website. I would appreciate any help you can give me with this. I’m fearful that this could cause depression – especially as he seems to be afraid of the voice since it’s critical and negative. I’m also a little upset because neither my grandmother or my brother developed symptoms at such a young age, and one website I read said that it’s a bad sign if that happens. I have no idea what to tell him to help him offset these negative feelings brought on by it, I don’t want to stress him out by saying he’s in control of the voice and can ignore it, because I don’t know if he can – or would even believe he can if that is true.

Are there any places in the US that might be good for me to contact? – thanks for your help in advance

 

[scrappy]

Although it is not unheard of for very young children to be diagnosed with psychotic illness I would advise you not to jump to that conclusion straight away.

The main reason for saying this is that many children have very elaborate and over active imaginations, and/or may not have the linguistic skills to express what they are experiencing - what you are interpreting as 'hearing voices' may simply be your son's description of a day dream or play fantasy.

If he is functioning well in other aspects of his life (i.e he has friends and is ok at school) I'd give it time to see if it's just a phase he's going through, otherwise seek the advice of a specialist in child mental health.

I hope that helps reassure you

 

[Returncc]

The reason the voices are talking about you, is because you probably are aliens and you should neglect but not spiritually ignore or oppress your child, the voices might be wrong, but i doubt it. If they have problems with opening and closing doors, or the way something is done, there is not much to do other than realize his voices are perceptually groomed to be perfect in how they open and close doors, etc. treat the voices like they are perceptually oppressed people, but not your son, etc. unfortunately, you son has access to voices and will need someone to talk to about the entirely secret and inaccessible social experience of being near these voices, maybe for a long time, the voices are specific, and it is like sharing experiences and emotions with others, it is not obsessive to panic over not being understood about voices with people you care about, it is primary experential information... and sharing is an emotional non-burden, it is a bit like being confronted by an emergency... do not ignore the emergency, acknowledge it and move on... I hear voices, so don't take it to seriously... but it does require alot of support... some emotional (maybe constant) and some pragmatic, to achieve independent financial success... in the long term... give control over the reporting to the voice hearing person... and take on the roke of good counsel, if possible.

 

[LionAngel29]

I think everyone else is right, although I first heard voices at 6 years old, I had mental impairment and already had social, learning and behavioural problems. But I think that was just my personality and impairment. I think your son will be fine and must be a phase his going through cause as you say he gets on well at school, so he must be ok.

 

[Batman]

I would keep silent about it, forevermore, hoping that this is long forgotten. Don't feed it.
Batman

 

[Dichoso]

I think it was good of you not to show your worry and distress. Maybe you could ask your child to talk to the voice try to see if it could become friendly. See if there's a way you can convince him the voice is not telling the truth. Maybe you could find a way for him to feel like he can fight back/ has some control. Make sure you let him know you are happy with his preformance but even if he messes up you will love him anyway. tell him he's doing good in school and you're proud of him, but even if later his grades drop you will work with him and help him to make it through. Make it clear you are a team, and are willing to help him.

I don't advocate focusing on it, but I do not advocate ignoring it and pretending it doesn't exist. If it's troubling him. Sometimes voices go away and never come back. Sometimes they come back later.