• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

My “friend” has started bullying me and it’s getting worse

Y

Ydoc2012

Member
Joined
May 9, 2020
Messages
12
Location
California
I have 2 friends I talk to weekly. As bad as this might sound, in a perfect world these 2 people wouldn’t be my friends. With covid-19 there isn’t many opportunities socially right now and even if they were I have a lot of trouble making friends. My one friend especially has always insulted me but he has begun to do it more and more and in harsher ways. If I say something about it he says I can’t take a joke. He has started calling me and having people on the line without me knowing so they can make fun of my voice( I have a high voice). He knows I don’t have any other friends so he uses that against me and says this is how friends talk to each other. I know he isn’t my friend at all but he is the closest to a friend I’ve got. I have no dating life either so I’d only have contact with the family members I live with. Idk what to do anymore. I know this probably sounds self centered with everything going on in the world but I feel so lonely and like a nobody. Nobody cares about what I’m doing or how I’m doing. The only person I hear from outside of my house is this guy who always talks down to me.
 
E

Elisante

Well-known member
Joined
May 16, 2020
Messages
764
Location
Greece
Nice friend you have there! Better stay alone than hang out with him, honestly. After the pandemic is over you'll have more chances of extending your social cycle.
 
L

Lonedoc

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2020
Messages
4
Location
AGRA
Hey Ydoc2012
They aren't ur friends they are bullies. Friends never insult u or hurt u deliberately and they never ever use ur weakness against u. They just love u. U should have a firm hand in this relationship. U sound like a genuinely nice person. U should go out more try to mingle wid ppl and be more active socially. This will help u. May be avoid ur existing bullies for a few days so they know they have hurt u. Be strong my friend. U can do it. We all have bull8es in our lives. But we shld stand upto them.
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2014
Messages
9,349
Location
North of England, UK
This nasty piece of work is not your friend. Moreover, he is an abuser (and I suspect, a user as well), who is taking advantage of your vulnerability and isolation, to take the piss out of you. As an autistic man with other neurological disabilities also, I am no stranger to this. I have been through this myself, and survived - with an increasing awareness of just how sly and nasty people can be. I also have a strong, and as yet unsatisfied, desire for redress and Justice :)

One of the scroats formerly in my life, once goaded me that putting up with the abuse, was better than being alone. Not so. Break free from these clowns, and do it on your own, if you have to. You will find that you can, and in time, you will start to feel much better :)

Consign the flotsam to Hell as it were, where they belong, though in many cases, it's perhaps fairer to say, that some such abusers, truth out, belong in a prison cell. Think on it some more, and you will see that theses scroats actually need you, far more than you need them :)
 
W

Wanttofeelpeace5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
647
Location
New zealand
Agreed they are not friends but bully's ... Bully's are weak cowards . You deserve way better than there shite . Big hugs
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
566
I have 2 friends I talk to weekly. As bad as this might sound, in a perfect world these 2 people wouldn’t be my friends. With covid-19 there isn’t many opportunities socially right now and even if they were I have a lot of trouble making friends. My one friend especially has always insulted me but he has begun to do it more and more and in harsher ways. If I say something about it he says I can’t take a joke. He has started calling me and having people on the line without me knowing so they can make fun of my voice( I have a high voice). He knows I don’t have any other friends so he uses that against me and says this is how friends talk to each other. I know he isn’t my friend at all but he is the closest to a friend I’ve got. I have no dating life either so I’d only have contact with the family members I live with. Idk what to do anymore. I know this probably sounds self centered with everything going on in the world but I feel so lonely and like a nobody. Nobody cares about what I’m doing or how I’m doing. The only person I hear from outside of my house is this guy who always talks down to me.
hi ydoc......i personally am in an awful situation when it come s to having/making friends.....due to mental illness (depression and social anxiety) i have no friendsa at all......but my therapsit told me i should join a mental health club....mental health clubs are places mentally ill folk go to participate in art drama creative writing yoga or group therapy to name but a few activities or elase you can just drop in for a cooffee and a chat.......im a member and find the people to be nice caring and humble.....you might be interested, i think it would be a good option fror you......just ask your psychiatrist or therapist or emntal health team or else just google it.....sometime s mental health clubs are known as clubhouses
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
961
Location
U.S.
Is this person making you feel good or bad? If they are not making you feel good, drop them. Having someone to talk to is more than just having a body there to talk to and that's all this person is providing for you

Make lists of the pros and cons you get from this person and see which one is longer.
 
Faith198

Faith198

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2020
Messages
931
Location
U.S.
I know you don’t want to be alone, but it is better to be alone than have someone in your life that’s a pos like that. He’s not your friend, kick him to the curb
 
K

khuang

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
841
Location
Avenue Q in the US
Cut off all ties with the scumbag and block his number. He was never your friend. Maybe friends will take small jabs at each other but as soon as they realize they’ve hurt your feelings, they’ll stop the behavior, apologize, and make sure never to do it again on purpose. Being shady with a friend is one thing but if it is done with no signs of being a joke then it is an insult. It’s mainly the tone of voice that gives you clues whether or not it was meant to be a joke. Friends don’t make fun of your voice. An example of a friend making a shady joke is if you are trying to assemble a bookshelf and you start to build it upside, your friend says something like, “Are you sure you know how to follow instructions?” and then chuckles, that’s making a joke. Saying something like your voice is really annoying and not following with a laugh or chuckle is just insulting you.
 
J

JasonS

Member
Joined
Jul 2, 2020
Messages
20
Location
US
talk shit to him back! If U talk shit he won’t make fun of you as much and respect u more but if ur passive he will keep doing it
 
dreambuggieIII

dreambuggieIII

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 20, 2015
Messages
4,070
Location
Elderberry & Waffles
talk shit to him back! If U talk shit he won’t make fun of you as much and respect u more but if ur passive he will keep doing it
I read that and thought yay ! but then again, we can be He-man on the net at times, and often in real life - 'stuff' is more complex. It's like wanting to wade in and teach the guy a lesson (hiring a group of vigilantes to ties him to a lampost with a bully sign on him - saying release after confession).

Bully's themselves have terrible lives. But that does not excuse them, from spreading bad friendships as normal. Yet it's been happening for years, and will not stop.

You don't have to join a MH club, try something new.... (just going to catch up on you, if you've posted before....)

Depression is better if you exercise. Plus it's good for you. You could travel to a nice place to play squash or badminton....Or via meetup.com a book club or book a ticket to a comic convention (nicer dudes).

Anxiety needs a good diet. Keep some protein bars or flap jacks with you.

I had the best bit of advice from a very lovely friend. She said ''If something is causing you distress, it's best to leave.''

Don't bother shutting the door behind you - give it 1 week of busy or so, and week 2-3 to plan a trip to another group. Remember ; fate is where your feet take you.

Safe travels out there - & come back.

best


DB :)
 
J

JasonS

Member
Joined
Jul 2, 2020
Messages
20
Location
US
You got to be like He Man in real life and the bullying will stop. Bullies only pick on the weak
 
EverybodyHurts

EverybodyHurts

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 2, 2020
Messages
348
Location
Bucks
You're not a nobody. You matter. Don't let this poor excuse for a human being bring you down. I myself have let toxic people stay in my life too long, fearing that feeling lonely would be worse than putting up with their nonsense. But you know what, what I actually felt was relief when I finally cut them out. Not hearing those put-downs anymore and letting them make me feel worthless was very liberating!
You have qualities that you probably don't even you know you possess yet, because you have been blinded by a cruel person's perception of you. But they are there, and non-toxic people will see them and like you for who you.
Be kind to yourself - you're worth it!
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2014
Messages
9,349
Location
North of England, UK
It's amazing how pathetic and weak these bullying scroats actually are. Sometimes they dress things up as though you yourself, deserve what you are going through. They are full of shit, and there is nothing to them, much of the time :)

It would be good to see then take responsibility for their shit. After all, as the old adages go: You cannot expect to get away with things Scott free can you? And Karma is a right bitch. These things were spoke to me, by a scroat in my life, in piss-taking mode. Ironic, when they were the ones in the wrong, and doing wrong - and if they were uncovered, would be prevented from doing any further harm, and quite possibly be confined to a jail cell for a time :)
 
Top