• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Music and mood + 3 personal examples

calmsea

calmsea

Member
Joined
Aug 2, 2018
Messages
18
Location
California
What are your experiences with music and mood? Does anything help? Does anything harm?

Depression
I'm in a dark place and I feel there is no escape from it. I listen to the most depressing and dark music I can find. In some cases there might be a music video surrounding the themes of death, agony, and suicide. I watch a video of a girl ugly crying in black and white, her face contorted...cathartic, relatable. The march of a mental funeral begins, in which every thought confirms the inherent evil, inevitability, and eternality of existence. I find depictions of death and despair do something, but they also fuel the need for more. Hours go by in a depressive trance as I mindlessly stare or browse.
Mixed state depression
At first I feel still and dead inside, then I feel a small flame. It grows into a hysterical or manic mixture of anger and sadness. My thoughts steer toward the unspeakable...images and sounds imagined of inflicting despair and suffering. I no longer seem to be recognizable to myself, and I am wide-eyed and full of tears. I desire music expressing uncontrolled anger. My heart feels like a sledgehammer in my chest. After a few hours I slowly transition to a state of exhaustion, until I no longer understand what I am doing or why. I go to sleep once I'm drained of all emotion.
No Depression
I might feel tired but alert as I wake up from a bad dream about the past. Today I feel vitality to stand up to such obstacles. I enjoy almost all music, but especially music of a passionate and dramatic nature. I feel "strapped" to the music's notes, and each note pierces into me a mixture of positive and neutral emotions. I think about the sun. I am no longer afraid of thoughts of the potential eternality of mental experiences.
I'm also interested in hearing what music other people find themselves drawn to during different moods.
 
Last edited:
C

Candy19

Guest
music has a huge effect on my mood which is why I try to avoid listening to sad songs, when I used to listen to depressing songs whilst I was depressed it didn't help at all, it would resort to self harm sometimes
 
Last edited by a moderator:
static void

static void

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 9, 2018
Messages
259
When I'm feeling fine:

Music has allowed me to find expressions for my 'emotions'. I've always had trouble getting in touch with my emotions even when I wasn't depressed. I just tend to suppress them a few seconds after they present themselves, without me even doing it on purpose. I guess it's some sort of defence mechanism.
Actually, my entire life runs on the speed of the music I'm listening to; if there is no music, I don't do anything at all, and I'm unable to write/type/think/walk/cylce/drive a car at any decent speed when listening to slow music, for example...
I have felt really strong emotions when I listened to a particular beautiful piece of music (more often than it happens to me when I'm around people) but I never know why this happens. If there are sections I find most connected to I will edit it and put it on repeat, to really try and explore an emotion it brings forth because I'm simply unable to do this myself naturally.
When I'm feeling fine I have music in my head all of the time and it makes me feel things but I also can find interest in other things too: I'm potentially able to do a lot of things that I couldn't do when I was depressed..

When I was depressed:

When I was depressed I really needed to be comforted because all I heard was meaningless to me, I had no interest in anything, except for music. Music was on of the main things that I needed to get through the day, along with food and water. Music was like a catharsis to me in those times.

When I had major depression:

When I had major depression I slept all the time. I didn't even had the motivation to listen to the only thing that made be feel better. I was just so tired, I literally spend mornings, evenings and nights on the couch or on the bed. I was like, done with life. Music, which is one of the few things that makes me feel better, didn't do anything for me anymore.

I got sick in my teenage years. Now I'm free from depression since 2013 and I can listen to all the music the I want :whistle:
 
Top