Mum guilt tripping me

Flameheart

Flameheart

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#1
So just had a messed up and triggering conversation with my mum, basically she said that because I don't believe in God we are poor and that it contributes to me being mentally ill, she also bought my dad into it implying that I have similar thoughts and intentions to him because of my lack of faith

Who knows how long she's been waiting to tell me this shit
 
Lunus

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#3
So just had a messed up and triggering conversation with my mum, basically she said that because I don't believe in God we are poor and that it contributes to me being mentally ill, she also bought my dad into it implying that I have similar thoughts and intentions to him because of my lack of faith

Who knows how long she's been waiting to tell me this shit
Maybe you should ask your mother if god is so powerful how does she reconcile the Church of England being the largest land owner in the country while thousands are homeless and them having equity investments in Wonga the extortionate money lender while thousands are in poverty and relying on food banks. F*cking hypocrites if you ask me.
 
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dewey

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#4
So just had a messed up and triggering conversation with my mum, basically she said that because I don't believe in God we are poor and that it contributes to me being mentally ill, she also bought my dad into it implying that I have similar thoughts and intentions to him because of my lack of faith

Who knows how long she's been waiting to tell me this shit
Don't believe a single word.
Don't believe your parents.
You are entitled to a lack of faith. You are entitled to your own beliefs
 
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dewey

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#5
Oh and mental illness is never your fault.
(though it may be your responsibility to try to fix it)
 
Flameheart

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#6
Oh and mental illness is never your fault.
(though it may be your responsibility to try to fix it)
oh she'd always much rather blame me being mentally ill on something I can control rather than taking any personal responsibility herself for my upbringing, it's her unique way of victim blaming
 
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Trekster33

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#7
Your mum is quite similar to mine she wants to control my finances now because I told her I was excessively spending again.

To cope with our mothers we can make sure we tell someone like this forum or a support worker if we have one. I constantly check in with my home help to make sure my mother isn't controlling me again.
 
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dewey

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#8
oh she'd always much rather blame me being mentally ill on something I can control rather than taking any personal responsibility herself for my upbringing, it's her unique way of victim blaming
Sure, people struggle to take personal responsibility for their failings. It is probably too painful for her to take personal responsibility, so she comes up with this silly, superstitious explanation. It also sounds like she is completely ignorant of what mental illness actually is.
Your mental illness was likely triggered by your upbringing, yes, it may have genetic basis possibly... but one thing is sure, it is never the person's fault. Nobody wants to be mentally ill.
Feel no shame.
The best advice I can give you is distance yourself from her and these ideas. Leave the childhood in the past. Get a good therapist. Be free.
All the best x
 
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dewey

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#9
P.S. I like that you changed your username from BPDevil to Flameheart. It shows defiance and uprising. You are not the name of a mental illness, it doesn't define you. you can take control <3
 
Flameheart

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#10
Sure, people struggle to take personal responsibility for their failings. It is probably too painful for her to take personal responsibility, so she comes up with this silly, superstitious explanation. It also sounds like she is completely ignorant of what mental illness actually is.
Your mental illness was likely triggered by your upbringing, yes, it may have genetic basis possibly... but one thing is sure, it is never the person's fault. Nobody wants to be mentally ill.
Feel no shame.
The best advice I can give you is distance yourself from her and these ideas. Leave the childhood in the past. Get a good therapist. Be free.
All the best x
I've desperately wanted to move out for ages now, I've tried every avenue and nothing has been possible, I have no outside support or friends or family that can take me in, so I'm pretty much stuck and will probably continue to suffer for years to come
 
sadpunchingbag

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#11
So just had a messed up and triggering conversation with my mum, basically she said that because I don't believe in God we are poor and that it contributes to me being mentally ill, she also bought my dad into it implying that I have similar thoughts and intentions to him because of my lack of faith

Who knows how long she's been waiting to tell me this shit
You can't argue with an idiot they will beat you with experience. Look into moving out dealing with cancerous family feels terrible from my experience
 
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dewey

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#13
I've desperately wanted to move out for ages now, I've tried every avenue and nothing has been possible, I have no outside support or friends or family that can take me in, so I'm pretty much stuck and will probably continue to suffer for years to come
I was going to send you a private message but am not able to as it says it limits who can do it...
 
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dewey

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#14
Well anyway, it's a crappy and highly relatable position you're in. I know what you're going through is all I'll say.
Can you currently work? There surely must be something you can do for money
 
Flameheart

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#15
I was going to send you a private message but am not able to as it says it limits who can do it...
I've changed settings for you to message me and no I don't work, I'm looking despite being completely demotivated, even though I have nothing to stress about and I can spend all day in bed it still feels like I'm trudging through life with chains around my feet
 
Lunus

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#17
I've changed settings for you to message me and no I don't work, I'm looking despite being completely demotivated, even though I have nothing to stress about and I can spend all day in bed it still feels like I'm trudging through life with chains around my feet
Your last sentence resonates with me, especially as I’ve just heard a story about an elephant. Let me tell you it. In India there are people who inflict cruelty (an invalidating environment you might call it) on elephants they train. The thing is, they start on them when they are tiny baby elephants, and they are constrained by no more than a piece of string around their leg. No matter how hard these baby elephants pull they cannot break the string so they give up trying. However, the baby elephants soon grow and eventually reach the huge size of an adult. They are still only secured by a piece of string. They could obviously break the string at any time, but they don’t.
A lot of us need to break the string.
 
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Girl interupted

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#18
It takes her accountability away and dumps it on you. Don’t fall for it. It’s nonsense and I’m sorry she is saying stuff like that to you.
 
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Trekster33

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#19
I've desperately wanted to move out for ages now, I've tried every avenue and nothing has been possible, I have no outside support or friends or family that can take me in, so I'm pretty much stuck and will probably continue to suffer for years to come
In the UK coercive control is an official form of domestic abuse. Although this is harder to prove than other forms of domestic violence.

Do you have a supportive GP, social worker, mental health team, support worker? I got some of these people to write letters saying that my "current living situation was adversely affecting my mental well-being", to housing so I could bid in secret for five months on the council housing register. This worked and I moved out with a lot of planning and support from my home help.

In the UK you can ask for a social care needs assessment from social services. You may have to contribute towards paying for your care but that's dependent on your income.
 
Flameheart

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#20
mum saw me in a bad mood and yet again brings religion into it, like yes I'm unhappy all because I'm not Christian, makes total fucking sense
 

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