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Moving out.

S

Sarey

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2010
Messages
135
I'm thinking of moving out, the environment here is extremely toxic.
(Mother is an alcoholic, sister is a narcissistic, I get neglected & abused day in, day out)

However, I have a medical disability(M.E), I'm moderately-severely affected, I'm now in need of a wheelchair, I have a bath every 4-5 weeks, I can't cook anything beyond toast/soup/the basics, I have no job, I don't go to college, therefore no income(however I am applying for Disability Allowance), but I also am scared to move out due to the fact I'm bed/house bound, and I can barely manage going out.

I'm also mentally ill (quite severely), so that is another factor in this.

Does anyone have any suggestions to go about this?

Thank you in advance.
 
greebobeebo

greebobeebo

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
1,027
Location
north norfolk
Hi

Have you explored all your options with your local housing association? Most have adapted bungalows for people with disabilities. I have seen one and it was really nice.

What about asking Social Services about care if you move out into your own space?

What about getting in contact with the Shaw Trust, if you have it in your area?

I think you said you have drug and alcohol issues, have you got a d & a centre near you? The one I use near me is a god send, they have helped me with my alcohol issues and have also helped me with everyday stuff.

I have found (eventually) that getting out of a toxic situation has helped me enormously. This is your chance to start proving to yourself that you can do the independent thing, get your life on track with the help of people who are not toxic. Gain some self belief, carve out your niche in society, even if it is only a small corner.

At 17 your adult life has just begun, I believe that if you start your life now away from those who are destructive, and get all the help you need, which will take time, then the rest of your life is what you make it.

I have spent the last 20 years of my life fighting depression. I am now in a situation that I am happy with.

Believe in your self. Do not let others win. Take charge of your own destiny and prove that you can do it without anyone else.

Good luck to you.

Alex
 
S

Sarey

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2010
Messages
135
If I could, I would make all of my illnesses/disorders/difficulties vanish, but most of them are here to stay until I'm buried in the dirt, so I don't think life is what I make of it, because if it were, it'd be a hell of a lot better.

I don't really believe in that cliche, sorry if I come across as rude at all.


"Have you explored all your options with your local housing association?"

No, I haven't, I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

"What about asking Social Services about care if you move out into your own space?"

I'll keep that in mind too, but I've been told I can't move out until I'm 18 by CAMHS.

"What about getting in contact with the Shaw Trust, if you have it in your area?"

Not sure we have that in our area, I'll look into it.

"have you got a d & a centre near you?"

Don't think so, I'll look into it.

Thanks for the suggestions.
 
greebobeebo

greebobeebo

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
1,027
Location
north norfolk
I forgot about the 18 age limit. That in my humble opinion is a crock of shit, for all of those that are between 16 and 18.

What I meant was how you make it with all your issues taken in to consideration. I have absolutely no idea what hell you have to deal with every day, I would never assume to think that I know better either.

I do sincerely hope that you will have a brighter future whatever form it takes and that as an adult you will get better help than you have as a child under Social Services.

I do not believe in Fate or Luck

Would it be better to start looking at what you can achieve rather than what you can't, start finding some positives in all the negatives in your life. Although from what you have written so far it does seem very difficult.

These are my opinions based on my life experiences and are in no way meant to offend anybody.

Good Luck

Alex
 
S

Sarey

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2010
Messages
135
Oh no, I'm not offended, don't worry.

I do think that rule is a load of bull too, I'd love to move out right now, I'd have loved to have moved out when I turned 16 too, actually I'd have loved to move out the day I was born! Would have saved tons of trouble, that's for sure...

I do try and focus on the positives in life, and I live for those, ie; my Dad(he's an ocean away and not biological but hey, who cares?), my hamster Lily(I got her on the 23rd of last month, she's such a cutie, we bonded nearly instantly), my cousins (who are ages 2 and 5, ever so adorable), my Grandad(he's a very warm hearted guy, very lovely to me, I'm his favorite grandchild :) ), I also love creativity, so I enjoy doing that, I also love psychology, and my goal is to become a psychologist, so that is another positive thing.

On bad days, I do forget a lot of the positive, and I focus very much on the negative, as that's all there seems to be... that's all that seems to surround me... but, I do try and focus on the positives, and to aim for things in the future that make life worth living.

Until I am able to move out, (which will be December when I turn 18), I'll be looking into my options, and building an income(somehow!) for when I am able to move out, at least then I have something to work with already.

Thank you for the help.
:)
 
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