Moving home

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JasonR28

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Apr 8, 2014
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140
Well, the NHS have pressured me far enough. The local MH trust is simply a shambles (On the NHS site review section its barely rated 1/5).

The whole system has been complete dog crap for me. Even when an occupational therapist told me they want to help me and I would benefit from their support, I was refused it (The OT referred me to a MH team who make the referral. The MH team fobbed me off and refused to refer me).

It's always the same old isn't it? In this area I've seen it all with the services. From them ignoring "unfit for work" assessment reports to telling me I'm fine and going back to work will make me all better.


Recently I've seen there's a site I can list my home for swaps. A lovely 2 bedroom house with a garden and balcony.


I've had a lot of messages about swapping. One person lives about 60 miles away and wanted to trade me a 1 bedroom box flat for my home. They saw my house yesterday and I've agreed to the swap.


The area is full of support and services. It's away from this p*ss poor NHS shambles I have had to endure in my area. Thankfully the MH trust isn't the same in the place I'm moving to.


I'm losing out on my 2 bedroom house, but this is down to the NHS. They've refused me help I clearly need in this area, so what sort of life is it if I stay here? I'd have taken any property type to move away and have a chance somewhere that isn't here.


It kind of makes me angry how I've been forced into that choice, but my health has to come first. Let's just hope when the move is done the new area has a better MH service (it seems quite highly rated) and I get the actual help I've needed for over 10 years.
 
J

JasonR28

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I'd say at the moment it's stressing me out loads. The stuff I have to do is just beyond belief.

It's annoying as that old classic rears its head..... No support. Which makes it so difficult. "No support" means I'm probably going to have to spend at least double what it would otherwise cost me to move.

Gas safety checks here. Gas appliances disconnected by gas Safe registered engineers. Getting housing association to repair things here that just stopped working. Paying council to remove things that are too big or not suitable. Even then....

I've gotta get a removal van booked, to drop my stuff at a storage unit in a town I'm moving to, then pay them. I've them gotta somehow travel back and forth, likely via taxis to check the gardener and cleaners into the home I'm moving from to sort it out. Then back again for a final check with housing officer.

On top of all of that, changing all my account addresses over....

Finally getting another removal company to move my stuff from storage to my new place.

I've been in a really low place over it all. I have no choice but to move, the NHS here have given me no choice, and yet it's really messing me up.
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH2

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Jan 6, 2019
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It annoys me when people say that going back to work would make us feel better. Excuse me but with my anxiety and vertigo? Plus I'm always responding to people who never even said my name. I have anthropophobia too bad. Plus my depression. I'm too I'll to work. I wish I could but I can't. I hope your doing at least a little better now. 🤗
 
J

JasonR28

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Yeah it annoys me too.

My whole life has been work focused. Because of family illnesses I had an opportunity at 18 years old to claim carers allowance, effectively a guaranteed amount of money each month for doing what I did anyway. I could have stayed at home, helped with occasional care duties.

But... I didn't. I wanted more out of life even though I was struggling and unwell. I went on JSA instead for half the money, all because I wanted to work.


After I got a job, as time went on I had to leave because my health was declining badly and I became too unwell to work anymore. The NHS have done nothing whatsoever to give me the right help.

No doctor would tell someone with a broken leg who is unfit to work "Oh well, services aren't available to help you with that, time to just ignore the pain and get a job". Instead, they more often than not would be supported by the services until after an operation where they are better and able to get back into employment.


I was enraged after seeing a mental health nurse a while back. I was explaining to her that because of my mental health, I really struggle and get massively distressed even doing something simple like trying to go to a coffee shop. She told me "Oh well, life isn't all about doing only the fun things. I'd love to go to coffee shops and do fun things but unfortunately I have to work, just like you should be working now".

I mean, what the heck? I can't go 15 minutes down the road for a coffee in a coffee shop without being in tears and having suicidal thoughts, so how am I meant to travel even further to be trapped in a building for 6 hours working?
 
HauntedWitch

HauntedWitch

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She told me "Oh well, life isn't all about doing only the fun things. I'd love to go to coffee shops and do fun things but unfortunately I have to work, just like you should be working now".I mean, what the heck? I can't go 15 minutes down the road for a coffee in a coffee shop without being in tears and having suicidal thoughts, so how am I meant to travel even further to be trapped in a building for 6 hours working?
I don't know whether you happened to read on another thread about me going to coffee shops while in college with friends... if you did, that was 40 years ago. It's a pleasant memory, and that's all. I don't expect life to be margaritas on the beach, but people around me behave as if they think I did, and that's nuts of them.

I am not self-diagnosed. I am classified by the state as significantly disabled, and by my doctor's advice, am at risk of serious relapse, if I go back to work full-time. I am not on welfare or food stamps or SSI, so everyone can stop thinking of me as a freeloader. I can drive alone for 6 hours with no problem, but I detest being around people.
 
J

JasonR28

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Apr 8, 2014
Messages
140
Today, I just feel like I give in. I wouldn't say I feel suicidal but I feel like enough is enough and I can't battle on.

I absolutely hate life and what it does to me. It's one thing or another stopping me progressing, either my own health or this sh*tty screwed up world we have to suffer in.

I know people don't believe me but I have done absolutely EVERYTHING I can do to improve my life. There isn't one thing any member of this forum or anyone else can tell me I should try that I haven't already given a go.

This move has now fallen through and it's the final straw for me in life....Smoke, drink and be merry now.....

With suffering for so long and with no help, I've had so much advice saying how I should get a dog for companionship. I get one, and.... screwed.... truly.

On a good day (very rare) it's possible I could just about nip out to the nearest town via a bus that goes 2 minutes away from my house IF I could be accompanied by my dog. That would make a huge difference to me in life, but guess what? The bus service won't allow dogs on so I can't.

Anyway this move. I've exhausted every possible option in this area. Services are a shambles, there's nothing here. I've put myself through a hell of a lot setting up this move.

Dogs allowed? Yep. The tenant has dogs, great, certainly they are allowed.

As it gets closer to the move date I get in touch with their housing association as oddly in their policy it says no pets.... and.... I was told I'm not allowed to bring my dog with me, if I do then it's a breach of tenancy.

So again, that's it, I won't be moving.

I've truly given up. It's worn me down so much that I don't have it in me to even think about going and trying to swap with someone else.
 
J

JasonR28

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Apr 8, 2014
Messages
140
The hardest part ever is the NHS.

I do all this, tried so hard. Then if going to NHS staff it's the usual of how I'm not trying hard enough.

To put it into perspective. Had I been given the right help and support, I'd have been back in work 2 years ago, maybe even 5 years ago.

I attempt a move where the primary consideration is for a more relevant area with better medical support. I went through pure hell and the swap didn't happen.

Local MH services "you need to try harder".

I've told them what I want and need. I don't get that service thus no better. But then I'm told to try harder lmao
 
J

JasonR28

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Apr 8, 2014
Messages
140
I guess I feel pretty bad still about it all which is fuelled by the NHS. In this area there's nothing. The symptoms of anxiety, well actually as I have more recently found out, Aspergers, have reached a boiling point because they are so debilitating.

I'm told by doctors and NHS teams when they play it down that the symptoms are harmless, I need to get out more and the symptoms will reduce.

That's bull. Symptoms have never reduced and they have caused serious harm in my life. I've had people laughing at my symptoms, people questioning if I've been on drugs and those symptoms have screwed up countless chances to integrate and socialise. That isn't "harmless".

These days I can perhaps just about cope with the symptoms for 10 minutes when out and about, any longer and I'm in so much distress that I end up in the pub self medicating.

I need to be avoiding the pub and drinking or I will become an alcoholic. Without the support to cure the symptoms or someone to accompany me, I will always end up in the pub after experiencing the never reducing symptoms for more than 10 minutes.

So the point of me moving area was for better support and the location of the property was close to shops and other services.

At current I can't even go to the local shop for bread without going to the pub. It's a 25 minute walk away and before I even get there I'm in so much distress that I end up in the pub. The new area would be 5 minutes from the shop which is just about doable before the distress gets too much.
 
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