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Moving away. Confusion. Help.

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Dibzy123

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2012
Messages
45
Location
essex
Hey everyone. Thanks for reading.
I'm currently 7 and a half months pregnant. I've been with the dad for 3 and a half years. Personally I see us together for a long time but in the long run I don't see it getting any more serious than this. I care for him a hell of all and respect him so much for what he's done for me but I'm very unsure whether I love him alot.
I became pregnant during a bad period time where I was bleeding every other two weeks for two weeks at a time and my pill obviously didn't work. I was under going tests before I conceived but this has stoped for the same reason.
For the past ten years I've wanted to move to wales. I have alot of family there and when ever ii have visited I've felt more at home there than in my own town. Not just the family, but the way of life etc suits me.
I see this as a great opotunity for me and my baby. Better air, better countryside, better schools etc. For me it would mean more Jobs for what I do, better support around me and a new life from there years of neglect I've suffers where i am now.
I know that he's not going to want to come with me, and I understand that. I would be happy for him to see the baby. I could come here for a weekend and him to me. Baby's got a right to see and know dad. We could call him daily too. I just don't know if id get sent to court if I move etc. He would kick off about it and would even try blackmailing me to stay if I tryed speaking to him about it.
HELP
Dibzy xxxx
 
Jonwal

Jonwal

Well-known member
Joined
May 27, 2014
Messages
299
It sounds like you know what you need I think you should go for it and give it a go :)
 
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Dibzy123

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2012
Messages
45
Location
essex
Thanks. I know its something I need to do. Its just the baby stuff in worried about. I'm also slightly confused about how to do it. Job first or home first etc..... How to tell him in moving at some point etc.... AAAARRRGH lol xx
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
It makes sense that you're wanting to be with your family when you're pregnant with a child; you want to be somewhere familiar, around people with whom you feel a real connection (and it sounds like you don't have this with your current partner, or a lasting one anyway).

Have you tried taking to him about your feelings? I can't say for sure because I don't know your partner, you might be surprised as to his reaction, if you explain calmly what you want to do and the reasons for doing it: as you say, it is better for your child in the long run, what with having better schools, etc.; he can't really argue with that side of things.

The only reason to go to court would be to settle the custody arrangements; you can say to him that you're willing to agree terms already, before you go. He might say he wants the baby at the weekends or something. Make it clear you're willing to accommodate for his needs and your baby's needs, as you have acknowledged that your baby deserves and needs to see his/her father also. :)

I hope you come to some kind of arrangement without having to go to court. If you don't feel comfortable having this conversation with him on your own, maybe have someone else present - someone you both trust who can act as a mediator.
 

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