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Mounting issue with indecisiveness/becoming easily overwhelmed

percellphone

percellphone

New member
Joined
May 19, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Japan
Maybe this is a ptsd thing or an anxiety thing, but literally everything that ever didn't go according to my mother's plans became a huge problem, with screaming, and blaming and no dinner, yadda yadda... 20 years later and I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with not wanting to make decisions. From big things like choosing to move house and small things like what to eat or wear... it's becoming a serious problem. Maybe I'm fearful/anxious about my choices leading to failure or being blamed for things going wrong, but just knowing that isn't helping. The other day, a friend of mine wanted me to choose where we should get takeout and it spiraled into me having an anxiety attack in the bathroom. That shouldn't happen, that's not something I need to be anxious over but I am. Help?
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
792
Location
California, USA
It seems you have a pretty good idea of why it’s happening, and that you need help “unlearning” your past, when a decision led to so much drama. This sounds like something that could be very much helped by therapy. Have you tried it?
 
L

LivingWithX

Member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
17
Location
Bay of Plenty
Maybe this is a ptsd thing or an anxiety thing, but literally everything that ever didn't go according to my mother's plans became a huge problem, with screaming, and blaming and no dinner, yadda yadda... 20 years later and I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with not wanting to make decisions. From big things like choosing to move house and small things like what to eat or wear... it's becoming a serious problem. Maybe I'm fearful/anxious about my choices leading to failure or being blamed for things going wrong, but just knowing that isn't helping. The other day, a friend of mine wanted me to choose where we should get takeout and it spiraled into me having an anxiety attack in the bathroom. That shouldn't happen, that's not something I need to be anxious over but I am. Help?
Sorry to hear about your troubles with this. Have you done any reading on it? It's not something I've read a lot about, anxiety relating to decision making.

I can only guess as to how to help, but when you are forced with making these decisions - do you get a gut feel or does the anxiety even put up a wall around this? If you could just go with your gut feel on everything for a month, given your intuition is a system based around your past experiences that is often a well-compiled decision making tool (way more equipped with information than your conscious mind), would that work?

If so, you'd then need to work with dealing with where the choices lead. From there, I'd challenge your thoughts. I imagine your inner monologue would criticise you, just like your mother seemingly did. Challenge it. Tell it no lives were lost in that decision, there is no major fallout. No big red button for the end of the earth here. And tell it you're proud too, that you made a big step and made that decision. Attaching positive emotions is the best way to break down the defences of the subconscious mind.

And I'd absolutely advocate talking this through with a professional. Good luck and keep thinking about how in your future, there's a powerful, bold decision you're going to make that is going to feel amazing
 
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