Motivation Problems! HELP

G

Giraffe85

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2018
Messages
4
#1
Dear Forum,

I would really appreciate hearing of your experiences of what I am going through if you have been through similar.

Currently I can barely function in the flat I live in with my 89 year old Nan. I have no motivation to do housework, keep my room tidy, take rubbish down. My room is usually a tip. Even though this upsets my Nan terribly I have developed this apathy and it is like I am numb to her upset and it doesn’t motivate me to act. All I do in the flat is sleep. Today I slept from about 11am until 10.30pm.

I can get myself to go out with my friends because it’s somethinf I enjoy but day to day functioning and getting day to day tasks done I have no motivation for. I’ve been out of work for a year now and cannot get myself to take any steps towards getting back to employment. I have some savings which are going down fast but again it’s like I don’t care, it doesn’t bother me.

I don’t feel depressed like in that I’m crying but I feel empty and numb and like I don’t care.

Have people experienced this?
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,534
Location
The West Country
#2
Depression isn't just crying. It can be, of course. But from my experience and that of other people I know who have it, it is more that numbness and apathy.
So, unless you've already been to the doctors and been diagnosed, it might be worth trying to do that.

It's really hard to get things done when you feel like that though.
From what you're saying, it sounds like you're quite overwhelmed with the amount of housework that needs doing? If you're thinking of it all in one go, it can definitely feel like too much and so it's no wonder it's so hard to take any action.

This may have already been suggested to you, but the only way I can get things done is by focusing on one thing at a time.
If it's a big task, break it down into smaller more manageable parts.
So if it's getting up and ready for the day, the first thing you have to focus on is sitting upright. Then you focus on putting your feet on the floor and walking out of your bedroom.. etc.

Prioritising tasks is also helpful if you've only got a certain amount of energy.
If the floor could do with a clean but you've got no clean cutlery because it's all piled up in the sink, the floor can wait.
I only have a particular day of the week that I do certain tasks (Laundry Monday, Vacuuming Tuesday).

What's also helped me is sticking to a 1 minute rule. So if a task takes less than a minute to do, I do it there and then - no excuses.
It means that mugs don't build up on my coffee table, because it takes a matter of seconds to take them to the kitchen sink.

Maybe the nicer things like going to meet friends could be used as reward for completing some of the more boring things that need doing?
If bribing yourself works, then do it! I often tell myself i'll have a cup of tea and a few biscuits after i've done the washing up.
 
C

Cat_nap

Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Canada
#3
I am experiencing it right now actually. I should be cleaning up and doing dishes but I feel indifferent and unable to motivate myself right now. It's really tough, because I know I have to do it and it makes me feel worse about myself. It's just hard to get motivated to get up and do things. Everything seems so pointless and colourless.

However, I am watching motivational videos and later going to put some music on and clean up while dancing. It makes the tasks more enjoyable. I can do this and so can you. We can beat this depression, at least for long enough to get one or two things done.

Don't try to do everything at once. Do one thing and then read a book or watch a show, and then do another thing followed by something fun that you can look forward to.

Let us know how it went. :)
 
G

Giraffe85

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2018
Messages
4
#4
Hi Somerset Scorpio and Cat_nap,

Thank you for your replies and ideas. In my case I seem to have lost the will to even try. I haven’t tried or forced myself for so long that I can’t remember how to. Cat nap used the word indifferent and I really relate to that. I just don’t care about things anymore. I don’t care that my room is a tip, or that I’ve not showered in three days or got dressed. I see my 89 year old Nan doing all the housework and getting so upset seeing me sleeping my days away but I don’t react emotionally. Tonight was actually the first time I cried in ages but usually I feel empty.

How do you get yourself to try again when you don’t care about things?
 
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