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Most troublesome BPD symtom?

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Bpdcgd

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Mar 1, 2021
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Ireland
Just wondering what others most troublesome BPD symtom is?
For me it is angery outbursts, purely verbal outbursts. It ruins things for me over and over again. I manage a new job, new friendship or relationship for up to a year before I let a mood swing get the better of me and then hell pours out my mouth.
 
S

Signofthetimes

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Mar 1, 2021
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182
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California
I was diagnosed with BPD over 15 years ago. I've always questioned if this is accurate or not. I feel more like I am very avoidant of things. However, I do fear when I will ruin things with an outburst. I try not to let them happen, but they have ruined friendships and changed relationships. I feel fortunate for the relationships that it hasn't ruined permanently. Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try this happens. Always ready to try again. I don't like feeling angry. There was a time when I preferred feeling angry over sad. I don't anymore.
 
D

Dagoon

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Dec 27, 2020
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148
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Np20
I was diagnosed with BPD over 15 years ago. I've always questioned if this is accurate or not. I feel more like I am very avoidant of things. However, I do fear when I will ruin things with an outburst. I try not to let them happen, but they have ruined friendships and changed relationships. I feel fortunate for the relationships that it hasn't ruined permanently. Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try this happens. Always ready to try again. I don't like feeling angry. There was a time when I preferred feeling angry over sad. I don't anymore.
Ive managed to calm my sudden need to hit out at those around me. Mainly because I have removed toxic people out of my life and ive had counselling and read self help books etc. I look within myself and if I feel one coming on I go to a quiet place and breathe through it. It takes alot of practice but it is possible. Ive had bpd all my life due to my childhood horrors. But it has taken me many years to understand what this has done to my reactions. My upbringing has stunted my world view and made things more difficult. But ill never stop fighting it. 😁
 
W

WhySoSerious

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Oct 16, 2019
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389
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UK
Explosive anger. Ruined many relationships and caused many to be fearful. Not good!
 
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Levi

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Feb 10, 2021
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NY
I would say for sure anger or impulsiveness. When I get to that point of anger there’s nothing I won’t say or do no matter who it’s towards, I will hurt someone to the core in that moment and that’s horrible. But also, the impulsive decisions sometimes leave lifelong consequences or regrets. I can be so impulsive at times and think absolutely nothing through, I just do.
 
M

manster

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Mar 4, 2021
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USA
The sense of abandonment. I always accuse my partners of cheating or not wanting to be around me if they want to do literally anything else. And I know I'm being crazy, but I can't help it. I get angry and hurtful towards them and then destructive to myself.
 
L

Levi

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Feb 10, 2021
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Location
NY
The sense of abandonment. I always accuse my partners of cheating or not wanting to be around me if they want to do literally anything else. And I know I'm being crazy, but I can't help it. I get angry and hurtful towards them and then destructive to myself.
I’m literally going through that right now. My gf seemed to reject me this morning when I was just trying to hug and kiss her. I instantly jumped to conclusions and felt like it had to be because she’s dealing w someone else. And even now that she’s explained she didn’t mean to and was just in her own head I’m still fighting with her because I cannot deal with any type of feeling of rejection.
 
M

Miho

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Feb 13, 2021
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Netherlands
I was diagnosed with BPD over 15 years ago. I've always questioned if this is accurate or not. I feel more like I am very avoidant of things. However, I do fear when I will ruin things with an outburst. I try not to let them happen, but they have ruined friendships and changed relationships. I feel fortunate for the relationships that it hasn't ruined permanently. Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard I try this happens. Always ready to try again. I don't like feeling angry. There was a time when I preferred feeling angry over sad. I don't anymore.
When I got my diagnosis it felt off. I too am more avoident and feel no hate or anger towards others. But as much as people can explode I implode. So everything that can happen for people with bpd towards others for me is directed all to myself. So after reading more about bpd I find it does fit with what I am going through.
 
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LabelleBPD

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Mar 7, 2021
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12
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Arizona
Explosive Rage. Fear of abandonment. Issues with society as a whole. I would say MY most limiting symptom is accusation of infidelity, i understand that im wrong, but my heart says im right. I lost my entire lofe, 10 days ago, because of a fit of rage, im lost here. BUT! since my diagnosis, i have found purpose.
 
L

LabelleBPD

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Mar 7, 2021
Messages
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Location
Arizona
I would say for sure anger or impulsiveness. When I get to that point of anger there’s nothing I won’t say or do no matter who it’s towards, I will hurt someone to the core in that moment and that’s horrible. But also, the impulsive decisions sometimes leave lifelong consequences or regrets. I can be so impulsive at times and think absolutely nothing through, I just do.
Yes. That is me to a "T". there are no boundaries once i feel attacked or disrespected. If i know something about you that i can exploit, in a fit of rage, i will absolutely hit below the belt. With no regard, until i realize what ive done (usually about 20 minutes later), i feel an immense amount of resentment of myself and a frantic panic in attempt to prevent the consequences of my actions being executed. I asked her to leave forever, out of insecurity, guess what? SHE DID. Control is a common trait in US. Its perceived as manipulation from a malicious point, but its not, its because at some point you were taught to fear being alone and it has carried over. When we need love the most, we avoid it like a plague. when the love checks out, we hold the receipt and beg for the experience again. Its a chronic craving, similar to an addiction.

Know this.. YOU ARE STRONG, RESILIENT, EMPATHETIC, CAPABLE OF DEEP LOVE, CREATIVE, AND OFTEN TIMES YOU ARE AN INTELLECTUAL.

There have been studies done on people like us that PROVE we are accurate in our immediate depictions of body language and emotional intuition. Bottom line is, youve made it this far with a weight comparable to the worlds grief. Youre a god damn soldier, keep your chin up.
 
W

willisrad

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Mar 7, 2021
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1
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Dripping Springs, TX
Most commonly, anger and impulsiveness.
Most debilitating when it’s triggered - depression and despair.
 
Sassa

Sassa

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Mar 7, 2021
Messages
3
Location
Saint Louis
For me the worst has been always knowing that there WAS something wrong with me and it went undiagnosed u til I was 42yrs old. I also have ADHD. The hardest part would be trying to salvage the relationships(ex-husband) that my behaviors have truly affected the most. He has no trust, respect etc for me. He thinks I use it as a crutch and that everyone suffers from some form of mental illness. Only talking about it and sending him articles makes it worse not better.
 
Desire less

Desire less

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Mar 7, 2021
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225
Location
Holland
Eventually it doesnt matter much what the reason for behaviour is... beside rational understanding people need to accept it...its tough.
 
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