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most personality disorders are not actual PDs such as Borderline PD, also PDs are overdiagnosed, other info

N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
1,394
Location
London, ON
IT doesn't matter whether or not you like people who may have your disorder, that's irrelevant.

Your experience really only counts for you, not the rest of us.

The issue I see is that you, for your own reasons, want terms to suit you, and how you see you. Anybody who isn't you doesn't seem to matter much.
 
F

forumuser23

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
22
Forumuser are you trying to say like that a personality disorder could arguably just be a different but not necessarily disordered personality? I think that philosophically you have some grounds for arguing that. I think practically it’s a little harder as people with PDs don’t always function effectively. It doesn’t make them wrong, it just means whatever behaviors and thought patterns they’re having aren’t really working for them and that learning more effective ones is a good goal to have. That could be seen as fixing someone who isn’t broken or as helping someone learn to function better.
we'll what you wrote does make sense, but the problem is, this is the very reason why it makes it a PD is that you simply are so different than other people, that every little action you do or how you construct yourself feels like a traumatic experience, and has to be painful conscious effort to just survive in life. this is also why my post signified this already, it's not teaching someone skills they don't posses or improving weaknesses, but being aware of them and trying to find a middle ground with others as to create better functionality and harmony in both sides, when possible, but it shouldn't have to feel like an excruciating effort always like it does with me.

the clifton strengths video explains this, and there was a guy reviewing this, because there was a lot of criticism that the clifton strengths avoids weaknesses or w.e, and the guy sums it up very well, it's not about not knowing weaknesses or w.e, but to find a way to let a group or know about any potential difficulties one may have and contribute by focusing on strengths is the goal and what's logical. because at best, you can turn a weakness into average or baseline, but you end up burning out / severely distressing the individual for no reason, and in my opinion, turning it into a disorder ( which for me, that's one reason why i'm ill ), is because i was challenged too much in my life and in the wrong ways in particular.

the problem is, most people i meet who shouldn't have a personality disorder, aren't any different. at least you'd assume they should be more open or reasonable and find middle ground, so in this sense, what they describe as those being ego syntonic is like the majority of the population, you see, it doesn't make sense, nothing does, when there is constant contradictions everywhere. my brother though calls it boundaries, apparently something to which people with PDs either have weak or it's not existent, for me, i don't relate to it, because the way i describe it is like this, you have a family that says he's your brother, he cares about you, but for me, i don't give a damn if he's my brother or not, if i like him or can get along, then that's all that matters. a lot of times i tell my mom, how am i so different from you guys and the rest of my family, since the rest of my family is also more similar to each other than they are to me, except a few, but even those few can be attributed to personality MBTI, because the ones that are most similar to me, happen to be the same MBTI type, should they be much different, yes, they still are, but a part of them is comfortable enough where i feel more well around them.
 
Summerof76

Summerof76

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
116
Location
Wales, UK
@forumuser23
I am going through your posts today, but I need to point out- I'm Schizoid-Avoidant; you're Schizotypal- between me and you, this whole thread is a going to be a mess. A characteristic all schizo conditions have is the ability to over-analyse and make unnecessary inferences. Not only that, we tend to communicate in a way that barely anyone else can fully understand- confabulation, abstract explanations and analogies.
I'm aware of this- are you?

Also, you wanted me to take the MBTI test- I came up as an Advocate. 90% introvert; intuitive- 56%; feeling- 60%; judging- 53%; turbulent- 82%. Role: Diplomat. Strategy: constant improvement. It comes up as INFJ-A/ INFJ-T.
Apparently, I am in less than one percent of the population. However, I wonder as to what their participant number is and if those with my personality type are just less likely to take the test.
 
Summerof76

Summerof76

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
116
Location
Wales, UK
Before I start, I’m answering the first post you directed towards me and I’m not taking in to account anything you have said in reply to other posters on this thread.

"ok summer, let's see if i can review / answer to all the things you replied or at least most of them so far, to the first paragraph, so you comment on my narcissism, ( me smirking, yeh, so what? i already know i relate to narcissism )…etc"

Actually, it IS the point! There's boundaries and a structure to therapy. And that's not a 'typical' person talking- that’shat’s a person that did the training to become a counsellor. And the extended Psychology degree, with two years of modules on psychology in a therapeutic setting that included the different approaches to the client, depending on their emotional needs.

You’re making inferences about behaviour you’ve observed from your therapist. That’s typical of schizotypal personality disorder.

"it would be hard to explain without providing some kind of long qualitative definition, but perhaps typical person…etc"

You constantly judge me as typical, because you don't believe I understand you. Yet then say it would be hard to explain, but the right kind of mind would understand you. So what is the 'right' kind of mind? Someone like you? So, your therapist is like you? Yet how much do you know about your therapist other than that they agree with you?
You are quick to judge, yet don’t like being judged- or disagreed with. I’m not sure which, but still- a very typical characteristic for a person with your personality type. So far, you have not convinced me that you are an enigma.

"if the therapist or whomever it i'm talking to is not someone i like or can offer some sort of middle ground with or "reasonableness"….etc"

Just need to throw in here- I’m going to guess that there’s not many people that you would honestly say you ‘like’. You find most people don’t ‘get’ you- don’t communicate on the same level as you. And you ARE very intelligent and perhaps, most in your immediate circle are not as intellectually perceptive as you. That is what makes you the enigma- not your personality disorder.

You burn a lot of bridges, huh? Yep- me too and I don’t differentiate between friend or family. There’s a reason for that and it lies in the core cause of the personality disorder and thus, becomes/is a feature. You should consider this. It may feel like a strength of your P.D to you at the age of 25, but as you get older, it will not feel so much of one. It is a pre-cursor to loneliness and a number of other disadvantages to no social circle (e.g. financial- no ‘mates rates’ on a contractor; no lift to avoid taxi fares). People ultimately need people and to burn bridges is to leave yourself surrounded by waves.

"as i've done many times. the goal isn't about fixing me, but your post suggests that the therapist job is always to help with that someone who has fault…etc"

I said the role was to work on the dysfunctional thoughts and behaviours- do you disagree with the term dysfunctional?
I don’t mean to infer that the personality disorder needs fixing and actually that’s not the role of the therapist either. The therapist’s role is to guide you towards helping yourself- to help you pin-point the areas of your life that are negatively affected by your thoughts and behaviours and give you ways to think differently about yourself and the world around you. They are not there to ‘fix’ you- the sliced psyche cannot be given a plaster and 7 days to grow a new skin.

So, you don’t think you need to be fixed- that’s fair enough. Then why are you medicating and attending therapy? You are looking to connect with other’s that are you like you- with the disorder and who have similar attributes to you (I read your post in Possible misdiagnosis of schizoaffective disorder)- that demonstrates that you are seeking answers from someone who can understand, which I would infer as seeking support- another way to ‘fix’ a situation.

To say something is ‘disordered’ does not mean it is impaired. You like semantics, so to be impaired means to be weakened, damaged- to have a disability- yes?. ‘Disordered’ means dysfunctional- mixed up, confused. A personality that is disordered is definitely not impaired- everything that makes up an ordered, secure, stable personality is there. It simply needs re-arranging and a refurbishment- given new perspectives to consider. The core cause of a personality disorder is parenting style and the enduring experiences of our childhoods- how our parents and close circles showed us how to think and behave, and those early experiences that taught us what our place was amongst others. That blueprint for being a ‘human’.

As sentient, intelligent adults with a grasp on our inherited ‘disordered’ thinking style and the ability to subjectively look at other’s thinking styles; we can learn to re-order the parts of our personality that have a detrimental effect on our lives. It’s not about our faults or anyone else's- no human has faults, but what they do have is detrimental thinking styles that have to look at things in black and white- good and bad. And if a characteristic or mental health experience is having a negative effect on the person or others around them, it’s obvious that something requires changing.


"so it seems like you didn't notice the part i mentioned on the clifton strengths, as that basically points to who i am in a way, with the maximizer trait, the last think you'd wan't is someone trying to fix you…etc"

My word! If I could laugh in type without the ridiculous LOL, I would. I am not a perfectionist in most areas of my life, but I apply effort where it’s necessary. The rest would just be a waste of time, but you’re wrong- I am not someone who can be convinced of anything easily- anything! If you were to tell me the sky was blue on a sunny day, I would need evidence or to see it for myself. I believe what I want to believe- not what anyone tells me. But fortunately, I hold a very open mind. One that not only likes seeing the roots of a tree, but it’s branches too.

Again, as with the other test you asked me to do, I would be very wary of these kinds of pop psychology tests- how they have come to their conclusions. Furthermore, it seems to test traits of narcissism and as you have already inferred, they’re traits something you identify with.

Your reference and pride in the test results just confirm those traits in you, but how those traits effect you on a day-to-day basis would actually confirm that you have them- not a test over the internet. The descriptions I found of the Maximiser traits are quite contradictory- it stated that they hone in on strengths and try to maximise them, yet also said that they only tend to want to be around people like them. Yet if the joy comes in improving themselves and others strengths, why are they attracted to people that don’t want to change? It’s an oxymoron of a personality disorder- not a set of strong characteristics.

"on the part on normal people or whatever, you misunderstood what i meant by "normal" or "Typical" people, it's not that the things you're saying aren't partially true…etc"


It would be very easy to misunderstand you, because of your confabulation. I’m guessing that you write exactly how you speak- I can ‘hear’ you in your words.

I don't know how or why I have provided unnecessary information and how what I've said can be detrimental or harmful to someone. I haven't encouraged anyone to open up or go deep- I've simply pointed out that ACE's are at the core of personality disorders. This is information you can find in nearly every psychology textbook and online. It's not a new theory- in fact, it's been THE main theory since the classification of personality disorders.
I could quite easily place a good psycho-analysis of what you said in that paragraph, but I’ll leave it- you clearly know exactly where your P.D characteristics come from and you are not ready to go down the route of tearing them apart. That’s your prerogative, but until you SAFELY go down that route, you will remain blocked to completely understanding your P.D.


"what you said on intelligence and PD paragraphs are very simplistic, obvious and things that i already know…."


You talk like a wife! And now I will be the defensive husband (even though I'm female!)- How am I supposed to know what you know? How am I supposed to know if you’d even heard of Gardener? I gave you a theory to how intelligence COULD be viewed- I didn’t state that it was the definitive answer. Yet I see- you can also perceive that I might know more, so I won’t rant on.

I Still, to challenge your view- you really love labels, don't you! Measure, testing- a result to explain why and what, yet you avoid what could possible hold the answer. Interesting.

I don’t agree with you on what you say. I don’t think intelligence can be indicative of quality of life. Variables include individual expectations of what constitutes as a high quality of life, wider circumstances, opportunities and social aspects to name a few. But if you dig in to a few journals and books, you might find that a high EMOTIONAL intelligence can be beneficial to quality of life. You could pose the question why does one sibling have a mental health disorder when another doesn’t, if they had the same parents, went to the same schools, got fed the same, etc. There will be smaller variables in the child/young adult’s experience that would have been the ingredient to it. Experiences with individual parents, within the wider family, relationship with sibling(s), protective factors, etc.



"the second issue with IQ results is that it doesn't factor in how much effort one had to use in order to "achieve" whatever results they had gotten and it doesn't mean that just because they score "functional enough”….etc"



My written kick of ‘self-diagnosed genius’ was a defence response to your statement that people with personality disorders were inferior. As someone with a personality disorder, I found that insulting and bit back. Why not? I made the critique based on what I read. You seem to be perfectly comfortable criticising others yet cannot take a criticism back, even if it was based on what you had written.

And despite how many times you repeat your reasoning, it doesn't make it truer each time. There are many variables in intelligence, pre-cursors for levels of intelligence and how it develops, but to catch all those experiencing a certain personality disorder in the inferior range is ignorant. Furthermore, in order to make that inference you fail to take in to account that personality disorders are not fixed.

I’ve stated earlier here that I believe you to be intelligent and that also is based around what I have read of you. But the intelligence I see is the ability to analyse- the detail and dedication to the detail of an issue. And- surprisingly- in how much you want to learn about what you are living with.

Unfortunately, though, your ability to see anything other than your own view is very limited. Typical to your personality disorder, I know. You will seek out the evidence to validate your views and anything other than an agreement is seen as an inferior to yours and dismissed.


"i see this happen all the time, and it's very sad, because the people who happen to have this acquired knowledge and experience who also function like me and feel the same way, are in a relatively low minority and especially so if they...etc"


I genuinely don’t know what you are trying to convey here. Is there any other way that you can explain it, please? What I got is that you are in the minority of people experiencing your type of personality disorder and ‘typical’ people (like me!) cannot understand how you function?

I’m insulted that you see me as typical, but hey- I’m not going to take a leaf out of yours and every teenager in the Western world’s book and scream “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME!” because I’ve said it and I’m not 14 anymore.

Unlike yourself, I did have a little gander through your posts to get a better understanding of what you are going through- or at least, what you have shared about what you are going through. No one- not even people labelled with your disorder- know what you're going through, so you don't have to generalise to the 'typical' people. You have come across as very typical to your disorder thus far! But I doubt I am typical to mine, seeing as I have a co-morbid label.
Yet does it really matter? You will do you, others will do them and I will do me.

"there's one last thing i'd like to point out and wrap up this is that there really is a objective way to understand why you or others may disagree on my points or not "Relate" or "Get it", even though a lot of mental health specialists or testings...etc"


I posted my MBTI in another post, so I won’t repeat. But I would like to point out that diagnostics simply give a catch-all and they don’t tell someone how to live with their negative thoughts and self-deprecating behaviours on a day-to-day basis- how to avoid the depression or how to keep a job. They simply place a label on something to either medicate or support.

I’m still not sure what you want others to ‘get’- how you feel? How your mind works? Your stance on borderline PD? No one is going to ‘get’ all the psychological challenges you have on a daily basis. However, there will be people that identify with aspects of the challenges you face and in them, you might find people that ‘get’ you more than you think.
 
F

forumuser23

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
22
Before I start, I’m answering the first post you directed towards me and I’m not taking in to account anything you have said in reply to other posters on this thread.

"ok summer, let's see if i can review / answer to all the things you replied or at least most of them so far, to the first paragraph, so you comment on my narcissism, ( me smirking, yeh, so what? i already know i relate to narcissism )…etc"

Actually, it IS the point! There's boundaries and a structure to therapy. And that's not a 'typical' person talking- that’shat’s a person that did the training to become a counsellor. And the extended Psychology degree, with two years of modules on psychology in a therapeutic setting that included the different approaches to the client, depending on their emotional needs.

You’re making inferences about behaviour you’ve observed from your therapist. That’s typical of schizotypal personality disorder.

"it would be hard to explain without providing some kind of long qualitative definition, but perhaps typical person…etc"

You constantly judge me as typical, because you don't believe I understand you. Yet then say it would be hard to explain, but the right kind of mind would understand you. So what is the 'right' kind of mind? Someone like you? So, your therapist is like you? Yet how much do you know about your therapist other than that they agree with you?
You are quick to judge, yet don’t like being judged- or disagreed with. I’m not sure which, but still- a very typical characteristic for a person with your personality type. So far, you have not convinced me that you are an enigma.

"if the therapist or whomever it i'm talking to is not someone i like or can offer some sort of middle ground with or "reasonableness"….etc"

Just need to throw in here- I’m going to guess that there’s not many people that you would honestly say you ‘like’. You find most people don’t ‘get’ you- don’t communicate on the same level as you. And you ARE very intelligent and perhaps, most in your immediate circle are not as intellectually perceptive as you. That is what makes you the enigma- not your personality disorder.

You burn a lot of bridges, huh? Yep- me too and I don’t differentiate between friend or family. There’s a reason for that and it lies in the core cause of the personality disorder and thus, becomes/is a feature. You should consider this. It may feel like a strength of your P.D to you at the age of 25, but as you get older, it will not feel so much of one. It is a pre-cursor to loneliness and a number of other disadvantages to no social circle (e.g. financial- no ‘mates rates’ on a contractor; no lift to avoid taxi fares). People ultimately need people and to burn bridges is to leave yourself surrounded by waves.

"as i've done many times. the goal isn't about fixing me, but your post suggests that the therapist job is always to help with that someone who has fault…etc"

I said the role was to work on the dysfunctional thoughts and behaviours- do you disagree with the term dysfunctional?
I don’t mean to infer that the personality disorder needs fixing and actually that’s not the role of the therapist either. The therapist’s role is to guide you towards helping yourself- to help you pin-point the areas of your life that are negatively affected by your thoughts and behaviours and give you ways to think differently about yourself and the world around you. They are not there to ‘fix’ you- the sliced psyche cannot be given a plaster and 7 days to grow a new skin.

So, you don’t think you need to be fixed- that’s fair enough. Then why are you medicating and attending therapy? You are looking to connect with other’s that are you like you- with the disorder and who have similar attributes to you (I read your post in Possible misdiagnosis of schizoaffective disorder)- that demonstrates that you are seeking answers from someone who can understand, which I would infer as seeking support- another way to ‘fix’ a situation.

To say something is ‘disordered’ does not mean it is impaired. You like semantics, so to be impaired means to be weakened, damaged- to have a disability- yes?. ‘Disordered’ means dysfunctional- mixed up, confused. A personality that is disordered is definitely not impaired- everything that makes up an ordered, secure, stable personality is there. It simply needs re-arranging and a refurbishment- given new perspectives to consider. The core cause of a personality disorder is parenting style and the enduring experiences of our childhoods- how our parents and close circles showed us how to think and behave, and those early experiences that taught us what our place was amongst others. That blueprint for being a ‘human’.

As sentient, intelligent adults with a grasp on our inherited ‘disordered’ thinking style and the ability to subjectively look at other’s thinking styles; we can learn to re-order the parts of our personality that have a detrimental effect on our lives. It’s not about our faults or anyone else's- no human has faults, but what they do have is detrimental thinking styles that have to look at things in black and white- good and bad. And if a characteristic or mental health experience is having a negative effect on the person or others around them, it’s obvious that something requires changing.


"so it seems like you didn't notice the part i mentioned on the clifton strengths, as that basically points to who i am in a way, with the maximizer trait, the last think you'd wan't is someone trying to fix you…etc"

My word! If I could laugh in type without the ridiculous LOL, I would. I am not a perfectionist in most areas of my life, but I apply effort where it’s necessary. The rest would just be a waste of time, but you’re wrong- I am not someone who can be convinced of anything easily- anything! If you were to tell me the sky was blue on a sunny day, I would need evidence or to see it for myself. I believe what I want to believe- not what anyone tells me. But fortunately, I hold a very open mind. One that not only likes seeing the roots of a tree, but it’s branches too.

Again, as with the other test you asked me to do, I would be very wary of these kinds of pop psychology tests- how they have come to their conclusions. Furthermore, it seems to test traits of narcissism and as you have already inferred, they’re traits something you identify with.

Your reference and pride in the test results just confirm those traits in you, but how those traits effect you on a day-to-day basis would actually confirm that you have them- not a test over the internet. The descriptions I found of the Maximiser traits are quite contradictory- it stated that they hone in on strengths and try to maximise them, yet also said that they only tend to want to be around people like them. Yet if the joy comes in improving themselves and others strengths, why are they attracted to people that don’t want to change? It’s an oxymoron of a personality disorder- not a set of strong characteristics.

"on the part on normal people or whatever, you misunderstood what i meant by "normal" or "Typical" people, it's not that the things you're saying aren't partially true…etc"


It would be very easy to misunderstand you, because of your confabulation. I’m guessing that you write exactly how you speak- I can ‘hear’ you in your words.

I don't know how or why I have provided unnecessary information and how what I've said can be detrimental or harmful to someone. I haven't encouraged anyone to open up or go deep- I've simply pointed out that ACE's are at the core of personality disorders. This is information you can find in nearly every psychology textbook and online. It's not a new theory- in fact, it's been THE main theory since the classification of personality disorders.
I could quite easily place a good psycho-analysis of what you said in that paragraph, but I’ll leave it- you clearly know exactly where your P.D characteristics come from and you are not ready to go down the route of tearing them apart. That’s your prerogative, but until you SAFELY go down that route, you will remain blocked to completely understanding your P.D.


"what you said on intelligence and PD paragraphs are very simplistic, obvious and things that i already know…."


You talk like a wife! And now I will be the defensive husband (even though I'm female!)- How am I supposed to know what you know? How am I supposed to know if you’d even heard of Gardener? I gave you a theory to how intelligence COULD be viewed- I didn’t state that it was the definitive answer. Yet I see- you can also perceive that I might know more, so I won’t rant on.

I Still, to challenge your view- you really love labels, don't you! Measure, testing- a result to explain why and what, yet you avoid what could possible hold the answer. Interesting.

I don’t agree with you on what you say. I don’t think intelligence can be indicative of quality of life. Variables include individual expectations of what constitutes as a high quality of life, wider circumstances, opportunities and social aspects to name a few. But if you dig in to a few journals and books, you might find that a high EMOTIONAL intelligence can be beneficial to quality of life. You could pose the question why does one sibling have a mental health disorder when another doesn’t, if they had the same parents, went to the same schools, got fed the same, etc. There will be smaller variables in the child/young adult’s experience that would have been the ingredient to it. Experiences with individual parents, within the wider family, relationship with sibling(s), protective factors, etc.



"the second issue with IQ results is that it doesn't factor in how much effort one had to use in order to "achieve" whatever results they had gotten and it doesn't mean that just because they score "functional enough”….etc"



My written kick of ‘self-diagnosed genius’ was a defence response to your statement that people with personality disorders were inferior. As someone with a personality disorder, I found that insulting and bit back. Why not? I made the critique based on what I read. You seem to be perfectly comfortable criticising others yet cannot take a criticism back, even if it was based on what you had written.

And despite how many times you repeat your reasoning, it doesn't make it truer each time. There are many variables in intelligence, pre-cursors for levels of intelligence and how it develops, but to catch all those experiencing a certain personality disorder in the inferior range is ignorant. Furthermore, in order to make that inference you fail to take in to account that personality disorders are not fixed.

I’ve stated earlier here that I believe you to be intelligent and that also is based around what I have read of you. But the intelligence I see is the ability to analyse- the detail and dedication to the detail of an issue. And- surprisingly- in how much you want to learn about what you are living with.

Unfortunately, though, your ability to see anything other than your own view is very limited. Typical to your personality disorder, I know. You will seek out the evidence to validate your views and anything other than an agreement is seen as an inferior to yours and dismissed.


"i see this happen all the time, and it's very sad, because the people who happen to have this acquired knowledge and experience who also function like me and feel the same way, are in a relatively low minority and especially so if they...etc"


I genuinely don’t know what you are trying to convey here. Is there any other way that you can explain it, please? What I got is that you are in the minority of people experiencing your type of personality disorder and ‘typical’ people (like me!) cannot understand how you function?

I’m insulted that you see me as typical, but hey- I’m not going to take a leaf out of yours and every teenager in the Western world’s book and scream “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME!” because I’ve said it and I’m not 14 anymore.

Unlike yourself, I did have a little gander through your posts to get a better understanding of what you are going through- or at least, what you have shared about what you are going through. No one- not even people labelled with your disorder- know what you're going through, so you don't have to generalise to the 'typical' people. You have come across as very typical to your disorder thus far! But I doubt I am typical to mine, seeing as I have a co-morbid label.
Yet does it really matter? You will do you, others will do them and I will do me.

"there's one last thing i'd like to point out and wrap up this is that there really is a objective way to understand why you or others may disagree on my points or not "Relate" or "Get it", even though a lot of mental health specialists or testings...etc"


I posted my MBTI in another post, so I won’t repeat. But I would like to point out that diagnostics simply give a catch-all and they don’t tell someone how to live with their negative thoughts and self-deprecating behaviours on a day-to-day basis- how to avoid the depression or how to keep a job. They simply place a label on something to either medicate or support.

I’m still not sure what you want others to ‘get’- how you feel? How your mind works? Your stance on borderline PD? No one is going to ‘get’ all the psychological challenges you have on a daily basis. However, there will be people that identify with aspects of the challenges you face and in them, you might find people that ‘get’ you more than you think.
let me say one thing that's clearly evident and can't be argued. me and you have different perceptions and viewpoints of things, and therefore are providing different answers. what i noticed with you is that you are taking what i write and responding to everything as if i'm not understanding your point, because i'm not perfectly identifying what you presume as me not identifying. and here i am trying to convince you to be more objective and provide a more critical analysis, but it appears that this objectivity keeps landing itself in the wrong area.

let me put it this way, it's clear we are different from one another and therefore you DO NOT need to come up with all sorts of conclusions to why you believe whatever it is that is coming from my mouth in the literal sense. What is similar in this thread? both of us have been hurt, but in different ways and for different reasons. putting aside quantitative impact vs qualitative impact. the thread has hurt both you and I, and maybe particularly for those that may have "borderline PD", and perhaps i could have worded the thread a little more appropriately, but we'll, i didn't.

if you really feel bad about the "typical" thing i say, you can just ignore it. i didn't expect you to keep going back to it as my first paragraph gives hint to the reasoning of the unnecessary focus on it. as for other stuff, the MBTI thing / personality indicators are something important, i was gonna see if i can check to see what your type was, since you said you mentioned mentioning elsewhere in the forum. till then, take care, and i hope these "misunderstandings" or whatever can offer room for some sort of middle ground.
 
Summerof76

Summerof76

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
116
Location
Wales, UK
@forumuser23

I appreciate your words. If we all agreed with one another, what a boring life we'd all have!
I wish you well on your journey of life.
 
C

Coolname

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2019
Messages
359
Location
UK
Hi forumuser23

I hope you don't take this post as critical or confrontational.

Your first post on this thread indicated to me that you want to communicate. May I suggest that short sentences help. Another behavior that helps is showing that you respect those with whom you are communicating by trying not to insult them. As I am sure you know, we each have our own strengths and weaknesses and we each have our own point of view. My point of view being different to yours is not a criticism of you, nor is your point of view, or mine, automatically superior to that of anyone else.

where i was heading onto the PD theory i was saying in my title. for example, when i say that BPD is not a true PD, i'm not saying that it's not a disorder, but that it shouldn't belong to what a personality disorder definition should be, because for me, a personality disorder is not something created or caused by trauma, etc, because this would then suggest that these traits or whatever this person behaves has to always be caused by something you can point a finger on, which i'm saying it's not and my experience has shown that.
At appears to me that you are trying to redefine the definition of PDs. Is this really yours to redefine? I think not. I have no problem with the idea that cause and effect is not always a helpful or accurate way of thinking about these issues. It is not a new idea, I have heard it humourously described as 'sometimes your brain just hates you'. It does not follow that a disorder caused by trauma is not a PD.

There is a saying that extraordinary assertions require extraordinary evidence. If you wish your assertions to be taken seriously then you must apply your logic to build an argument, referencing recognised authorities such as peer reviewed papers. You may be confident in your opinion but simply stating something is true is unlikely to convince anyone else.

Unfortunately I do not have the time or energy to enter a debate. The preceding is simply my opinion, take it or leave it.

Take care of yourself, I wish you well.
 
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EstherRose94

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I think I understand better what you were saying now forumuser. I admittedly read your first post backwards somehow, not realizing you were referring to your own struggles with a PD.

A PD can come up without a serious cause. I have some traits of BPD without trauma. I’m just like super emotionally sensitive and tend to think everyone’s gonna leave me for someone better. With stress, it can manifest like the PD.

The cause or whatever isn’t as important. At the end of the day it really isn’t an entity. Ie I guess it isn’t really “real” in the sense that it’s one thing. It’s a name we gave to a group of thought patterns and behaviors. If you can use the diagnosis to help you understand yourself that’s awesome. If it doesn’t seem to fit, it’s totally cool not to put too much emphasis on it.
 
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