Please don't cause yourself further harm, valleygirl. What you've done is more than enough. You don't deserve to hurt. I don't know you, but I feel for you. I care. I don't even know you and I care about you. Show yourself some kindness and care.
It's the only way to get any relief from everything going on inside my head. It's getting really bad. In the last 2 1/2 weeks I've harmed more than I've ever done before. I went almost 2 years without SH, and before that it was months between each episode. Now it's just been days in between, and I've self harmed more than I've ever done before.
I had stopped for almost 2 years, but my stress and anxiety has escalated to the point where I can't cope. The only support I have is my therapist, and therapy is changing, and my psychiatrist, who I see at the most once a month.
I don't think I'd be able to get in to see him sooner unless I seriously harmed myself and ended up in the hospital. I see my therapist next week, but I don't know what good it's going to do. I'm starting a new medication for anxiety--buspirone--but my psychiatrist said that it takes about 6 weeks for it to start to work.
My time is from evening into night time, all I think about and it's all consuming. Taking meds to get to sleep washed down with some booze gives me some respite. Please keep safe, big thoughts are flying to you right now xx