Mood swings destroying my life :(

[Inthedepths]

Hi All,

First post, probably of many. I am going to see my doctors on Monday morning [the wonders of not being allowed to be ill in the UK at weekends] to see if they can do anything for me.

I have been struggling for the past 9 months between being on top of the world, everything being fantastic, to suddenly, usually on a simple word, phrase or question from someone, to spiralling downwards into an abyss of self loathing, lashing out at everyone, but especially those who are close to me. Then just as soon as it started, Ill start being really happy, raving on about things and laughing and joking with everyone.

The last month or so, the downs are becoming more and more frequent, occupying huge amounts of my time. I frequently end up almost frozen with self hatred and loathing, which is affecting my working life, as well as personal relationships.

The event that has caused me to seek medical help is that the person who means the most to me in the world has said I am making her ill with my mood swings and she doesn't feel she can be my friend anymore. If I lose her, I have lost everything

Hopefully someone can answer this question, do you tell anyone at work you suffer from manic depression? A lot of people I work with humour me, as im prone to outbursts of insanity anyway, but it is getting noticable that people are treating me as unstable.

 

[Ainsworth]

have you got BP?

oops

i told my work i had depression 2 weeks ago, ive heard nothing from them

im suspected BP and other stuff but until i get a full DX im keeping my mouth shut

how you describe yourself is like me, i have been on a down ward track for the last 5 months and only last week did i go for help.

the fact you are going to the doctors is good and a step forward (that step is always the hardest) and this should hopefully make your relationship better as well

good luck for monday

 

[daffy]

Hopefully someone can answer this question, do you tell anyone at work you suffer from manic depression? A lot of people I work with humour me, as im prone to outbursts of insanity anyway, but it is getting noticable that people are treating me as unstable.

Have you already been diagnosed with bipolar. If not i would wait until your GP refers u to a psychiatrist, there may be other reasons that u feel the way you do. By the way having bipolar does not mean you are insane just that your behaviour may be irrational at times.

Good luck for monday and i hope your wait for a referral is not too long.

 

[dib4uk]

Regarding telling employers about mental health problems it all depends on what field of employment you work in and how nice your boss is.

Mood swings are a nightmare- one moment up and then down, I swing practically every day. I understand Inthedepths

In my experience- when others find out about mental health problems because they treat everyone the same, they will tread lightly and sometimes become ignorant of the true facts. One persons depression is another persons mood swings is another person personality disorder.

All three are connected cause of mood swings, but sometimes people ie friends,family, co-workers treat people differently according to what "mood swings" they have.

Inthedepths-

 

[Inthedepths]

Well I am not planning on saying anything to anyone initially, apart from the one person who has asked me to seek help. She thinks I have depression, but I am not sure.

If I do get diagnosed, I think I will have to tell my manager, at least that way I should get a bit less flack for "my attitude problem" that is getting brought up a lot lately

Family have no need to know thank god. Im not close to mine, I go weeks without seeing them anyway, and in an hour or two chances are I can at least appear fine to them.

Its not a "relationship" just a close friendship. There are complications preventing anything more than that.

I have spent lots of time on the internet looking at various things it could be, and it scares me a lot. There are a lot of very worrying illnesses that I have most if not all of the symptoms of. I realise I am not a doctor, so I am not self diagnosing, but it doesn't make fun reading.

The worst bit for me is ringing up for the appointment. Some receptionist will answer and treat me like an idiot and expect me to tell her why I need an appointment

 

[Inthedepths]

Just an update.

I am now waiting for an appointment with a psychologist. I am apparently borderline Bi Polar, as my ups are much less than my downs.

 

[Ainsworth]

what borderline PD or bi-polar2

sorry im confused, who told you that?

 

[Inthedepths]

Whats PD?

This doctor I saw said I was borderline Bi Polar, but she admitted she didn't really know much about it, so wanted to send me to someone who did.

 

[Ainsworth]

bear with me

BDP= borderline personality disorder

i didnt know what the borderline meant in the borderline bi-polar

 

[Inthedepths]

Sorry for the confusion, it perhaps should have been written as borderline, bi polar.

I was not over happy with my doctor trying to tell me how I should feel. I felt she was trying to force feed me the answers she wanted to hear, and when I didn't agree she seemed a bit flustered

Anyway at least I should see someone who knows what they are doing!

 

[Ainsworth]

well thats your doctor's problem, they arent the one's who should DX anything complex and it needs to be looked at properly. stick to your guns and dont let anyone tell you how you should feel or twist things.

i had a p-doc who did that to me, even tried to manipulate my OH in agreeing with him. not good.

 

[Inthedepths]

That is how it seemed to me too

She asked me a question, that was fairly vague, and then I was asked it again, with suggestions to what "correct" answer should be.

Like literally asking me if I was experiencing feelings of euphoria. Luckily I know what she was talking about, but I am sure plenty of people wouldn't know that word.

 

[Inthedepths]

Appointment friday 13th of November. Ages.

Good old NHS.

 

[ManicChick85]

Hi,

this is my first post at advice so hope this helps.

I myself get just like you. One minute the world is such a fantastic place and nothing can ever go wrong, and then literally an hour later its hell on earth and i wana jump from a high building. I was diagnosed wiv bipolar 2 rapid cycling because my mood changes are so frequent. The doc has given me seroquel and i'm doing quite fine other than jus needing my dosage increased which is happening as we speak. the world seems like such a lonely place when your like this...i especailly find it really lonely coz i'm a single mum but i really jus try to keep myself busy and find things to do that arent too crazy. hope this helps

manda x

 

[Inthedepths]

It does help, thank you Manda.

I live all alone, and I can be more or less fine if I can find something to do. I try not to watch tv at all, as this causes me to think of things and often sends me one way or another. I prefer activities where my brain is engaged in other things, be it talking to people, games, puzzles anything rather than sit about and think.

With me its the temptation to drive my car into a wall or tree. I think its caused by the fact in a car, I have nothing else better to do than sit and dwell on the bad things