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Mood swings and stuff

B

Belly Bear

New member
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
Messages
4
Location
UK
So my moods just seem to be all over the place. I can feel contented for a few hours and then out if nowhere I feel overwhelmed with sadness. There is often no obvious trigger and initially no actual reason to be sad. My mind tends to hunt for one and that definately isn't helpful as it latches on to anything.
If it's not sadness it's an overwhelming feeling something is wrong, a sense of impending doom. Again not caused by any obvious trigger but so dark and real my head starts frantically hunting for a reason and will latch on to anything, my job, my relationship, fear my car will break down, panic that I've done something wrong or said something wrong. When my head starts this it spirals down and down believing everything it thinks. Oddly it's as if there are two of me. The logical me that knows this is happening and the sad anxious desperate me that can't see a way out.
A similar thing can happen when I am relatively happy but at the same time I'm suddenly aware that I've been fighting a deep sadness that is very close to making me cry.
My partner says she can feel when this is happening which she finds confusing as I still seem to be chatting happily or enjoying what we are doing.
Can anyone relate to any of this? Or even better shed any light on how to handle it?
I take Trazodone but I'm not sure it's making a huge difference. Definately a small one but it seems to be gradually doing less although I've only been taking it for 3 months.
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
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Jan 5, 2011
Messages
46,292
Location
Lancashire
Hiya and welcome to the forum. I can relate and think you need to go back to your GP and ask for a different med. Its an old fashioned Anti D and didn't work that well for me. It should be working after 3 months. I had to see several doctors until I eventually was put on the med regime I'm on now and finally found an antiD that did make a difference - Mirtazepine 45mg. I hope you can find one that helps you but you shouldn't be suffering like this with such a depression.
 
B

Belly Bear

New member
Joined
Jan 1, 2020
Messages
4
Location
UK
Hi Calypso and thanks for your reply.
It's interesting you see depression in my description as I've only been diagnosed with generalised anxiety.
I suppose when things are really dark I feel depressed but that darkness isn't constant. There are periods of time...hours days or sometimes just minutes where I feel quite content and settled. Does that happen with depression?
I've been back to my GP 3 times in the last three months and all he did was give me a weeks worth of Diazepam to calm things down.
Tiny dose 2mg tablets though he reckoned half a tablet would do. Anyway they didn't do a thing.
I do feel I am a little better than I was and I'm now managing to work again which I couldn't before Christmas (ended up taking best part of a month off)
I feel as if he will just think I'm being melodramatic if I go back again.
It in nerves me that I can almost step outside of myself and be very objective in a strange way whilst I'm actually really struggling with huge waves of negative emotion and thought at the same time.
I work with a counsellor weekly but I've had a few weeks off due to unforeseen circumstances. One of which was having to rush away for a week to be with my mother who contracted pnumonia and was in a critical condition. She is now recovering which is amazing but obviously that was a pretty traumatic time which I am still having flash back too now and then.
It's since that happened and I had to just focus on her and supporting my step dad that I've had this odd feeling of being detached from myself somehow. I don't have any better way to describe it. Am I making any sense?
 
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