Mood is crashing big time

sunflower

sunflower

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 23, 2011
Messages
412
After a couple of crazy, suicidal weeks with numerous running away, police, MH assessments etc, I've spent the last week or so really working hard trying to distract. There's a care planning meeting for me on 7th April so I'm trying so hard to hold it together until then. Trouble is, the pressure in trying to do that is really starting to get to me, trying to keep a lid on things.

I've had a 'good' couple of days for me. I've been very anxious about the meeting, but trying to prepare for that with my care co-ord. Had a meeting with my new psych today. Have been extremely nervous about meeting her, but I did it all on my own and kept my composure and dare I say it, it went as well as it could I guess. Was proud of myself afterwards. Bumped into my care co-ord and said some positive things, but then we acknowledged that I need to be careful and try bring my mood down a bit. Otherwise I'm in danger of boom/busting.

Well, that's happened now. I went shopping this afternoon to the charity shop and picked up some bargains. Spent some time chilling at home this afternoon. Picked my daughter up and on way home passed police station and saw the police who have picked me up/helped me several times over the past few weeks. Stopped the car, wound down the window, and said hi to them. They recognised me straight away and used my first name and asked how I was. Told them I'm doing ok, and told them about the planning meeting and how hopefully some things will be sorted then. Was really pleased to see them. Trouble is, I found it triggering at the same time. I've suddenly become really overwhelmed and upset and down, basically. Today, or even the past few weeks and the week or so ahead, has just become way too much for me.

Hubby suggested phoning Gateway but I don't want to do that every single time I don't feel well. Want to try cope on my own first. Don't feel like talking either. Gonna try write something in my journal to share with my care co-ord next time I see her.

Sorry for waffling on. Thanks for listening. Please bear me in mind and 'lift me up' at the moment cos if I know people are standing there beside me encouraging me through this, it might just help me be a bit stronger. I am going to have to work extremely hard to avoid going back to the running away and suicidal behaviour that I'm trying to desperately put distance between that and myself.

Sorry. Gone on too much. xxxx
 
cadence

cadence

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
113
Location
NE
hey hun,

you know i am always here for u, just a text away, and text any time hun, i am sending u big hugs (cant find the huggy face emoctions thingys).

well done for getting thru the meeting by yourself, and glad psych was nice hunni.

i am sure the police will have been grateful for u say hi etc, and it shows your appreciation for the time they have helped u.

dont be afraid to ring gateways hun, that is what they are there for.

standing by u encouraging u all the way

love and hugs
cad
 
sunflower

sunflower

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 23, 2011
Messages
412
Thank you babes. I really appreciate you being there. Here for you too. xxxx
 
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