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Mood Disorders Support Group

valleygirl

valleygirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 5, 2015
Messages
1,974
Location
Valley of dry bones
Twice a month in my area is a mood disorders support group. I hadn't gone for awhile, since before my final exams in April. But I went tonight, and I feel so much more positive after going. It was a small group of people tonight, and there was somebody new. It turns out that she also struggles with self harm, and I felt a connection with her. She has a lot of the same interests as me, some of the same hobbies. And to actually be able to talk in person with someone else who struggles with self harm, someone else who actually gets it, wow! It just made me feel not quite so alone. I mean, my therapist knows that I self harm, and so does my psychiatrist, but it's just not the same as talking to someone who gets it on the same level.

We talked for a few minutes after the meeting, and it was really good. The only embarrassing thing is that she asked me how old I am. I was pretty sure that she was way younger than me, and to admit my age was so embarrassing. I just feel like such a failure because at my age I am still struggling to be financially independent of my parents, still trying to establish myself in a career, and I don't even have children. I've resisted saying on the forum how old I am, because I feel so ashamed, but I think I need to put it out there, as part of the process of letting go of that shame. I'm 39. In 7 months I will turn 40.:eek2: And she thought I was around 23! How crazy is that. Maybe next time someone asks me how old I am I'll tell them I'm 25.:D

But anyway, it was really good to be at the group tonight. After everyone had had a chance to talk about whatever they needed to, the facilitator asked us all about something we enjoyed doing. I think it was great that he asked us that, because it got us all focused on some more positive things, and it just reminded me that there is more to me than my illness and my symptoms and the meds I take and the shit that's happened to me. Beyond all that stuff I am a PERSON.

The young woman I met, the one who self harms, she works in a profession similar to what I am training for, and somehow it just made me feel like I can do this. I doubt myself and my abilities so much, especially since my breakdown about 4 years ago. But tonight I was reminded that I can be good at what I do. I can be passionate about working with children again. I can excel in working with children again. My breakdown was a blip, and it doesn't have to define the rest of my life. I can do this!

Sorry this is so long, but I really needed to write this out for my own benefit. I should have written it in my journal instead.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
4,585
Location
On a comet
I'm happy for you, it's great you connected with someone :)
Also it's easy for me to say but you have nothing to be ashamed off in regards to your age. To me your still young and still have the rest of your life ahead of you :)
 
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