- Feb 12, 2020
I read the differences is the timming, the BPD is more fast, daily hours, and bipolar disorder is almost monthly. Any comments?
Thanks for your observation, very clever. I'm more like your friend, so I avoid to get a GF for no to detonate that.Unfortunately, I now have a personal basis for comparison. Long story, short, I had a friend who wanted to be a romantic partner who has all the signs of BPD. My SO has a family history of bipolar and shows a fair amount of signs of the disorder.
In my observations, my SO has a longer swing into whatever mood he's headed towards and there are clear and definitive signs of what will come. His high is edgy and anxious, but with unstoppable energy where he can't sit still, can't stop talking and constantly fidgets and tinkers with things. His high is also exceedingly critical and nothing I do is right during that time and I am the worst SO in the world. I call this phase the Crescendo of Doom. It usually crests with a blowup where he says how awful a human being I am and I finally bite back. Within a day or so he crashes into a depressive phase where he can sleep 18 to 20 hours a day for two or three days, is lethargic, weepy and remorseful. For him, this is generally a two week swing and then things may normalize for a month. I can see the phases coming a mile away now and I know when to accept a trip away from home for work or to stay in the office longer.
With my friend, when he made it clear that he wanted me as a romantic partner and would stop at nothing to make that happen, he began to show the signs of BPD. He exhibited extreme jealous, controlling and possessive behavior. He wanted to control what I wore, who I saw and when I went out. I would receive dozens, if not hundreds of texts, email, voice mails and videos from him daily, often throughout the night while I was sleeping. He became increasingly sexually aggressive. I'm very passive-aggressive so I began to rebel and do the opposite of what he demanded. Then, I began to see the snap mood swings that changed in a dime. He would try to be dreamy and romantic, I would say something he didn't like or do something other than what he demanded and boom, he would fly into a rage, screaming obscenities at me, threatening self harm or suicide and trashing his room. He sent me a video of him beating one of his guitars on the ground for about half an hour, it being shards of wood and plastic and strings for most of it, screaming, "you did this! You did this! Not me!" Another was of him punching holes in the walls of his house.
Shortly after the ranting, he would fall into uncontrollable sobbing and remorse which could last another couple of hours or so, followed by an inexplicable return to a dreamy, romantic state in which he would declare his undying love for me again. He tried to alienate me from my family and friends, but it backfired on him. He was also a bundle of contradictions. He could be shy and had huge self esteem issues, but was also more arrogant than fighter pilots that I know. He said he loved my independence and confidence, but demanded that I be his property and be broken in spirit. He had very little experience around women, but professed to be the greatest lover and how I needed him physically.
I told him that I often felt more like property than person and he seemed ok with that. I told him about his jealousy and control issues and he was fine with that. I begged him to go back to therapy and then I begged him for space, which just drove him to more outrageous behavior.
Anyhow, I think I've seen both disorders close up and those are my observations and opinions.
Based upon personal experience - this.BPD highs often seem "high" but are actually based on stress or anger. Intense feelings of being out of control or on the edge that look like elevation are actually intense anger.
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