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Mom's Boyfriend is Going to Make Me Insane

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CcTheDragon

New member
Joined
Apr 11, 2015
Messages
1
So here's my problem, My mom got a new boyfriend last year. At first it was just a see him once be introduced and I thought that was it. He then moved in to the house that my oldest sister lived in at the time (My Grandma's, She Had recently died and my sister lived with her because she and my other sister had a fight...PS They've made up now). I thought it was a bit strange since they had only been dating for a month or two. Then after we had cleaned up the house and was trying to sell it my mom asked my older sister(We'll call her Amy) who still lived with my mom and I at the time if we wouldn't mind her Boyfriend(Lets call him Bob) staying with us. Amy and I both said no because we had only met him like three times but she let him move in with us anyway. About a month later My mom and Bob went to go pick up Amy and two of her friends. Amy had just gotten her learners permit to drive about 4 months ago at this point so my mom let her drive as she had been taking drivers ed for a bit already. She was pulling away from a curb and bumped the tire a bit. Bob went ballistic. He started yelling at her and both of her friends. Amy and her friends got out of the car after he started waving his hands threateningly and started a fast paced walk down the but Bob did to and chased after them basically. One of her friends(Allias:Tom) Put his hands up and tried to reason with him but bob just got right up in his face yelling at tom. Amy's other friend(Kelly) and Amy were a bit farther back being terrified and Bob started yelling at them calling them sluts and bitches.
Bob later tried to apologize saying he had a war flashback. But my sister and I both looked up his name using all the websites to get information on and although he was in the enlisted in the army he never left New York.
He continued living with us then he got angry again. Amy, Kelly, and Other friend of hers (Jack) were in the living room(Note:my room's wall is directly against the living room) playing video games and talking and he comes running out screaming too turn it down and he was threating Jack and Amy and Kelly, my friend and I are looking are looking at eachother with huge eyes she runs over and locks my door. The game wasn't that loud I could barely hear it all I could hear was faint music and I normally hear everything.
Amy is now in college and Bob still lives with my mom and I. I hear him using racial, homophobic, sexist, ableist and other slurs around me and at my school which is known to be one of the most accepting schools in the county. So using a slur is incredibly rude in front of someone who is part of the gay community especially when we have guests who have mental disorders/illnesses/disabilities or are gay/bisexual/Transsexual/transgender/pansexual/ect. I myself being pansexual find it completely offending.
Bob will also comment on how my room looks like I have band pictures on my wall(Mainly Fall Out Boy, Pierce The Veil, MIW, and others) and he'll use gay as an insult or other slurs. he will also comment on how messy my room is and its usually messy but I have no motivation because of my depression and because I'm always stressed out from school so once I get home i usually end up sleeping for 4 hours then i have dinner do my homework and go back to sleep at 1 am. Then on the weekends I have terrible social anxiety so I'm usually at my friend, who I've known more than half my life, house because I hate hanging out with other people because they make me feel awkward and self conscious of my weight(I'm not overweight but all my friends are as skinny as a pole) height (I'm 5'8 and all my friends are like 5'4) beauty (I wear a bunch of makeup because how my face is slightly red) but my friend doesn't care. I also eat in my room only because I don't like when people watch me eat.
And another thing my mother was quitting smoking and she only drank a glass of wine or anything alcoholic on special occasions(Her Birthday, Christmas dinner,) now that he moved in she smokes all the time and is drinking two or three beers a day. Every once in a while he'll ask "Do you want a beer or something?" and she'll respond with no and he'll be like" I'll get you one anyway, Just in case on if you change your mind."
I would love to know how to handle this because while I have never gotten angry in my life he has almost pushed me there within the past couple months and I'm scared to know what may happen.
 
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Helena1

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
10,575
Location
UK
How old are you? Can't you move out?
 
Unique1

Unique1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2015
Messages
8,765
Location
UK
Yes moving out would be a good idea if you could,not sure how old you are and if that is an option........

have you tried having a diplomatic chat with your mum. Perhaps she is turning a blind eye on it and if you let her know she will notice it more.
 
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