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Mild narcissism

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Thisisme373

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Ok well after watching a lot of YouTube videos I’m worried I might have npd.
I recognised some of the traits I have, I hate to say it but I have been exploitive in the past with no regard to the other person, I notice I can lack empathy at times & I need validation/reassurance from others.
I am insightful though and am able to reflect on my actions… narcissist can do this too right or are they incapable?
The thing is I certainly have some narcissistic traits. I am highly sensitive to criticism, I am selfish & can lie at times, I can also be manipulative. I think I got this from my dad as I believe he is a narcissist. I don’t want to be this way, I want to be a good person, as I have grown up I’ve become more understanding of others but I can see my flaws and it hurts deeply, I feel devastated that I am possibly narcissistic. When I think of it I believe some others have noticed that im not the nicest of people. I really don’t want to be toxic.
I took an online quiz & scored 12/20, it says I have mild narcissism. Does this mean I have NPD? I see it’s a hard thing to treat or go against which hurts even more.
Discovering I may have this has hit me hard, I’m so scared and anxious. I suffer with depression and anxiety & this has made it spike up big time. I’m scared.
 
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Thisisme373

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Oh to add I believe I’m more of a covert type narc. I feel realising this that my world is doomed.
 
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T E_90

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If you fear that you could be possibly be narcissistic and you don't want to be a narcissist, already proof you're not.
Everyone is a bit narcissistic in a way or another, it can be part of your character or of a pd also.
 
T E_90

T E_90

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Ps. Online test are not reliable.
They are not precise since the questions can be interpreted in many ways, depending on the circumstances.
If you do all of the test you find online, you'll see that you have all disorders.
Just a psychiatrist can give you an answer and sometimes not even him.
 
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Thisisme373

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If you fear that you could be possibly be narcissistic and you don't want to be a narcissist, already proof you're not.
Everyone is a bit narcissistic in a way or another, it can be part of your character or of a pd also.
I hope you are right, maybe I am overthinking it, I’m kinda hyper focusing on it at the moment & feel so fearful as I don’t want to be someone that people don’t like to be around. Do most people have narcissistic traits then? Can you fight the traits or change, I really don’t want to be selfish & manipulative. I hate even saying that I am but I do have that in me.
 
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Pennybrite

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If you think you're a narcissist, especially if you feel bad about it, then you're not one. Narcissists don't think or care that they are.
 
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Thisisme373

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Ps. Online test are not reliable.
They are not precise since the questions can be interpreted in many ways, depending on the circumstances.
If you do all of the test you find online, you'll see that you have all disorders.
Just a psychiatrist can give you an answer and sometimes not even him.
Yeah it seems quite a tough one to diagnose NPD, it’s got my head in a whirlwind. I feel scared that I am as I can be controlling & distrusting of others too. I have been fighting these urges trying to go against them but it’s tough, especially the need for reassurance. Could some of these symptoms be from anxiety, or as you mentioned other personality disorders then?
If I do have mild narcissism is that not so bad, can it be treated. Sorry for all the questions I’m really confused at the moment.
 
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Thisisme373

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If you think you're a narcissist, especially if you feel bad about it, then you're not one. Narcissists don't think or care that they are.
Thanks that gives me hope, I don’t want to sound like I’m slighting on narcissists btw, I actually feel bad for anyone who suffers with it as nobody chose to have it. I guess I’m trying to eliminate any doubt that I could be one as it scares me to think I could after all this time have been a narcissist and didn’t even know. Also the truth is it scares me that I’ve read people with it have very little chance of changing. I suffer bad with anxiety and I was watching videos on narcissism to figure out my dad’s behaviour and when I seen I also do some of those things it’s scared me. I do deffo have some traits though but I’m also a understanding person which my dad lacks, also I don’t like attention, I’m a shy person but then I stumbled across covert narcissism and again it got me over analysing all of it.
 
T E_90

T E_90

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As one who has NPD, (part of a personality disorder diagnosis given by my psychiatrist)
I can tell you that you shouldn't worry.
Personally, I've never noticed or worried about it, as I never feel like I am ever in the wrong or have something bad.
Only after I've been pointed out this to me, am I conscious but, nevertheless, I still don't care.
I don't feel wrong or think about it.
To your question, if this concern of yours depends on anxiety/depression that afflicts you,
I can tell you that it certainly could be.
Anxiety and depression can lead to a spiral of issues, including psychosis and paranoia, which lead to the belief that certain things may be present in you, even if they are not there, not real.
You are afraid of being a narcissist, this should already calm you down.
Everyone is a bit selfish by nature, it's called survival instinct.
 
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1redpath

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You don't seem like a narcissist to me
Seem very confused and worried about the idea of you being one.
This is more then likely to be your anxiety
And over analyzing your health is probably health anxiety if that.
Try to change your thinking(easier said then done)
 
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Thisisme373

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As one who has NPD, (part of a personality disorder diagnosis given by my psychiatrist)
I can tell you that you shouldn't worry.
Personally, I've never noticed or worried about it, as I never feel like I am ever in the wrong or have something bad.
Only after I've been pointed out this to me, am I conscious but, nevertheless, I still don't care.
I don't feel wrong or think about it.
To your question, if this concern of yours depends on anxiety/depression that afflicts you,
I can tell you that it certainly could be.
Anxiety and depression can lead to a spiral of issues, including psychosis and paranoia, which lead to the belief that certain things may be present in you, even if they are not there, not real.
You are afraid of being a narcissist, this should already calm you down.
Everyone is a bit selfish by nature, it's called survival instinct.
Thank you for your reply it has helped. Anxiety has indeed made me more paranoid as a person for sure, I do overthink everything too much. I need to try address this before it gets more out of hand. I can actually see how anxiety/dep can lead to psychosis. It makes me sad how humans have to suffer so much :(
 
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Thisisme373

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You don't seem like a narcissist to me
Seem very confused and worried about the idea of you being one.
This is more then likely to be your anxiety
And over analyzing your health is probably health anxiety if that.
Try to change your thinking(easier said then done)
Thank you, yeah I am very confused to be honest. I always like to figure everything out and it drives me mad lol. I am going to try alter my way of thinking as it’s not healthy.
 
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1redpath

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I do exactly the same (try to figure everything out)
Sometimes I'm left more confused then when I started. Lol
 
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Thisisme373

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I’m still worrying a bit, not as severely but The thing that’s confusing me is why do I have traits of a narcissist if I don’t have NPD, can you have a number of the traits/symptoms of narcissism but not actually have BPD?
 

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