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Midlife meltdown

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Baroquerw

Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2019
Messages
18
Location
New york
Ever since I turned 40 in February, my anxiety is off the charts and I’m so depressed. Every night I go to sleep thinking, “This could be it. I could go to sleep and never wake up again.” And then I worry about my young kids and how they will handle life without me. How I’ll never know my grandchildren...you get the jist.
Or
I lay down to go to bed and think, “There’s going to come a day when I just won’t exist anymore. And my body will be in a box in the ground. And I will be nothing.”
And I can’t stop thinking about it. And I don’t sleep. And I cry and write letters to my children in a notebook just in case I do die. I’m a mess😞
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
559
Location
Plymouth
Sorry to hear that, I'm 45, but ironically I'm less fearful now than when I was 40, there will come a point when you keep waking up every day alive, & one day the fear will go away. Yes, I do get the jist, but be patient, every minute seemed like an hour when I was 40, but you can & do get through it.

When I was 18-years-old I had a favourite song, Faith no More.

Oh happy days. Didn't think about ever being having my own mid-life crisis, but it's been & gone.
 
Cpt_Stunning

Cpt_Stunning

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
559
Location
Plymouth
Nothing could affect me when I was 18-years-old, happiest person you could imagine, I suppose it maybe something to do with the fact that it's ingrained into your subconscious that you're going to die one day from a young age, but it doesn't really hit you until you get into your 40's, maybe younger maybe later, but it was most definitely not on my mind in 1992.

My grandparents never seemed to be unhappy even when their lives where at an end, but maybe they too went through a period of coping with their mortality before finally accepting it & learning to enjoy life again, & you can too.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
1,297
Location
Sheffiield
I'm not sure if this will be helpful to you but this is where mindfulness and meditation comes into play, focusing on the now rather than the past or future.

I'm sure there'll be hundreds of videos for mindfulness on YouTube but this short animation explains how it can be a super power.


If you still have anxiety and stress over this issue there's always meditation you can do, if you type in YouTube search "jbittersweet anxiety" a few good meditation videos will come up. They helped me a lot during some tough times.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
166
Location
Scotland
I`m 47, both my folks have passed in the last five years.

You really need to stop fixating on this, you`re the mother of kids, you must learn to live and enjoy them , your missing so much!

Yes, there will be a day when you will be in the ground, like everyone else will be, simple as.

Life will carry on without us, and new life will take our place.

If you can`t get pass this, it may will be time to seek advice fro'm your Dr.
 
I

indigo6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
509
Location
UK
Ah Baro this is tough stuff. I understand. I went through this for 18 months when I was 17 and tbh its never left me just sits in a box locked away. You have to go to your GP and get some counselling asap. If I had I may have nipped it in bud. Im anti meds myself but they will offer you them. Other has said meditation and mindfulness. I do suggest finding instant distraction techniques such as those or anything that can stop the thoughts racing. Once they snowball or build momentum they gain a foothold. It helped Im a thinker, to try to find the answers. Im still looking :rolleyes:
 
TaurusLady

TaurusLady

Active member
Joined
Aug 2, 2019
Messages
41
Location
Birmingham
I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way.
One suggestion would be look into your 'Sleep Hygiene', as the way that you relax to get yourself off to sleep, and your personal surroundings can determine your quality of sleep. It can also contribute to your thinking patterns during sleep as well.
The best idea might be to see your Dr to seek further advice!

xx
 
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