meth psychosis -hearing voices- need HELP

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moonskifter

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2018
Messages
3
#1
"She is stupid" This is repeated every second of every hour of every day pretty much for over a year now..... I'm close to giving up and need help coping.
I am 7 months sober. Every day it makes assumptions that arent true about me, accuses me of being high, tells me to stop acting in a way that I am ONLY acting that way BECAUSE of the voice! It complains about thoughts I have. it wants me to stop living my life, to stop doing daily activities i enjoy and calls them stupid. I refuse and I am REPULSED to have this horrible bully in my head. It says things about me all day long as if it is the worst spy in history, letting me hear it report eveyrthing i am doing. I know its a delusion and not a real person but that doesnt make it any less creepy and intrusive. Does anyone else have psychosis stories, advice, etc?
It is the cause of me posting this, yet it hates ME for it, when it is the cause of it. wow. how can i get rid of this ignorant voice? It hates me for posting this yet I would not need to if it would shut up. Any help for explaining to an ignorant person like this also? It is interactive with me and I need to survive this delusion.
 
albie

albie

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 22, 2013
Messages
156
#2
Sounds familiar to me. I have tried meditation to quieten my mind. I also try to recite a phrase in my head over and over just to get some peace.
 
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NissanGTRR35

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
Messages
20
#3
Hi Moonskifter,

Sorry to read your situation. The best answer is to try and ignore the voice as best you can! Try to keep your mind busy by doing something. If sat doing nothing then do a word search or crossword etc and maybe have some music playing to help try and take your mind off the voice.

I've been in a similar situation to you and the best solution was to totally ignore them, however if I did occasionally "Speak" back then also I would not to get angry at myself for doing it. It did take about 2 years off practicing not responding before I could decide if I reacted or not! I also made a vow to myself to never let the voices make me angry because if they did then they are winning.

Several years ago someone said to me "When a situation is beyond your control, challenge yourself to how you respond to it BECAUSE THAT is where YOUR POWER is". Using that statement when hearing voices I thought - Hearing the voices is beyond my control, HOWEVER I do have the power to decide how I'm going to respond to the voices.

My voices kept repeating lies, threats and negative statements, same as yours, over and over. They reminded me of someone who likes to wind people up and those sort of people like to get a reaction and if they get no reaction then it is boring for them and they tend to move on!

I also turned the Negatives into Positives, so for example when they would threaten to kill me 100+ times per day and then later say they'd let me off I just didn't believe they could anyway.

However it dawned on me one day, Letting me off / Forgiving me is actually a Positive thing to do and Forgiveness is actually a form of Love. Every time they threatened me after I realised this I would wait for the "We've let you off" or words to that effect and point out to the voice that whilst the threat may of been negative the outcome has been to show me positive / love energy. Sometimes they'd try and be clever and say they were still deciding when to kill me etc, however time is passing and so again they are letting you live longer than if they done it straight away, again that's positive! Just for the record, I don't believe anything spiritual etc can kill you. The only way they can in effect is to try and convince you that you are no good and convince you to commit suicide! Funny enough since pointing out how positive and forgiving that are I don't get many threats anymore!

Also, if you are fed up with the voices seem to repeat your thoughts or forever jumping in and commenting on your thoughts I found that changing how I think meant they were unable to hear my thoughts. What I mean by that is we generally think one of two ways. They first way is actually using words, almost as if we are speaking them inside our head. The same for example like when we read a book we speak the words in our head. The other way we think is without words, sounds crazy I know! However if you think about it then very often we are thinking about maybe what you are going to have for dinner tonight and if you need to go shopping etc and you have thought all of that without speaking a word in your head. I'm not a brain expert, however those no worded thoughts never get commented on. If you're not sure of what I mean by "Non worded thought" then sing a song and think at the same time because the song will occupy the worded side of your thoughts.

Anyway, whatever the cause is of your voices, just KNOW in yourself that you are much better than the things it is saying to you!! If its a Mental Illness Voice then the words are coming from nowhere except in your own brain so don't pay any heed to what words the voices speak after all its only you. If it's some sort of Spiritual voice then obviously its Negative and feeds on Negative / Bad energy and is only saying all those things to make you feel bad. Feeling bad is going to give off Negative energy and so they can have a feast which is all they care about. Ultimately they'll get hungry for negative energy and if you're not giving any then they'll move on although this can take time.

Stay strong, stay positive and try not to get frustrated! You will get there and there is always light at the end of the tunnel
Phil
 
Sammyjames97

Sammyjames97

Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2018
Messages
18
#4
I understand how that feels, i had over a years worth of negative voices saying im all these bad things like a vile human waster that smokes too much and all sorts here's my story I posted in another thread, ive got better over time all you can do stay positive and hope for the best. X

Firstly il put a bit about me, I've just turned 22 this month, im a quiet guy who used to be an avid video gamer. I suffered with depression for a few years and ended up becoming a raver who smoked weed and did a lot of ecstacy and drank because it made me feel better and more sociable and confident.

I ended up going to university about 26 months ago and had 8 months of mad parties, i didnt really attend because of stress and anxiety and instead just took the time to do drugs and enjoy independence away from home. It was all good in the end I had enjoyed my year quite healthily other than believing my flat mates had set up a camera, i was able to deal with this idea with confidence and ended up getting used to the idea of the uni halls watching me from in my room, I decided to drop out and planned to move in to a house with my new raver friends i had made up there and get a job instead.
When moving in the second week of being in my new house i started hearing voices, they were claiming they were aliens and I was special, that they needed my emotional and physical pain, i was to create my own future in some sort of symbiotic relationship with them where I could get money, a girlfriend and happiness in exchange for life's downs and physical pain. I also started experiencing words pop into my head, like something had full control over my mind. The voices said it was my friend who was a psychic and predicted an event which came true.
Within a few days I was believing the whole street was speaking to me while on way to a boxing class and they knew my future. I ended up believing i was going to save someone's life from knife attackers. Later that day I blacked out and my friend had turned to my mom for guidance as I was acting strange. I apparently collapsed and had a mini heart attack and was taken to hospital. While in there the words told me I was the son of God and the voices were saying "he's here.... oooooo" not long after waking up the words told me I was being poisoned and had to escape. I decided to try leave but It was a locked ward.
I felt intense power come over me like I was supernatural and broke some magnet locked doors to escape onto the streets. The police came in the end and sectioned me to be detained for a month. While in a more secure ward i belived my family were reptilian aliens and they were out to get me. I ended up calling my grandma 378 years old and telling her to fuck off.
Shortly after i was throwing chairs and trying to escape a room they locked me in to keep themselves safe. In the end a security guy took me down and put me in isolation for 3 days.
I was taken home to another hospital so i could be back with my family and from then on I believed I was Jesus with a future like john sheperd off the 'mass effect' video game series, here to wipe out evil aliens in my own created future which I was a hero in a great space war, for months i felt iscolated and alone, i believed i was the only human amongst reptilians for thousands of miles, I was told by voices my pills would stop me hearing them, so i decided to not take them after a month or so as I liked it at the time and believed it would toughen me up. The voices got a tiny bit louder but stayed levelled from then on. For months i was told id be abducted or killed and all sorts of nasty stuff but somehow managed to brave through it and continue my drug use and rave while back home.
During this period i started to believe the devil was involved in all this. While seeing a friend i ended up meeting an understanding girlfriend who has been with me for 10 months, at the time i believed she was some alien hybrid, i didnt care though as she was nice, within a couple of months of meeting her my citalopram had effected my erections and I decided to stop them, shortly after I went psychotic again and was under the impression the seven deadly sins were reptilian tempters and they were after me, i was walking around with a pen knife ready to defend myself and believed I had made world peace through my compassion towards aliens.
Time went on and I was up and down with delusions and paranoia but eventually I believed i was possessed by demons and actually the son of Zeus here to take on an evil demon in a boxing match.
I was apparently speaking other languages and acting psychotic at this point and since here ive been believing i change souls and have about 10 or more demon personalities. I've also been under the impression my girlfriend is Delilah and I'm actually Samson the nazarite reincarnated. I've been paranoid for months thinking if I'm not keeping an eye on her she will cheat on me with higher dimensional aliens or demons that will fly into our bedroom when I'm not around. Luckily over the last couple of months ive been prescribed a new medication as ive decided i can't continue to feel so shit, i guess im just too proud to take these antipsychotics that make you so tired and overwieght, this new stuff ended up making me suicidal at first and I was calling Satan weak to hope he would kill me, or at least try. But shortly afterwards i began to feel better. Right now I'm stabilising looking back on it all wondering if il continue to get better or if my life will be full of paranoia and delusions from here on out.




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NissanGTRR35

Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
Messages
20
#5
Hiya, thanks for sharing your experience and I was so pleased to read towards the end that even with everything you have been through you are on the way up and feeling better every day!

When I read these experiences that so many of us have been through I like to think that if anyone is currently reading this that are at their “Crisis” point and wondering if they’ll ever feel better then let this be a firm YES!

Just keep persevering and there is no reason why if so many of us have come through similar experiences then there is no reason why anyone can’t get through.

Be strong, stay calm and be positive! Best wishes to everyone.