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met my counsellor today

M

margarete1967

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I turned up for my first session today, mostly it was introductions and about my background. I really off-loaded as much as I felt able to and I felt releived that I told her things that I have never told anybody before.
I really thought a lot of my issues were minor but i was told that I cant move forward without dealing with these issues and discussing them. All was looking up for me until she told me that she cannot start counselling sessions for another 3 months as she is so busy.
BAM, what now, carry on suffering for 3 more months until there is a slot for me. If I was suicidal I could get help almost immediatley-who knows in 3 months I might be.
The system is so wrong. not blaming the counsellor as she explained that it is the lack of funding.
Anyway I have had a good cry this morning and still feeling lousy. Just cant seem to pick myself up at all. So fed up feeling like this all the time, i want the inner pain of this depression to go away and give me some peace.
Anybody got any good tips on getting through the day with these horrible thoughts and feelings going on all the time.?
Thank you all for reading this post and for all the replies from yesterday.
 
intelgal

intelgal

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That is really terrible that you cannot start councelling straight away. It takes so much courage to go in the first place.... this bloody post code lottery. If things get really bad ( and i know waiting for this is not ideal) then present yourself to a and e, minor injuries or hound you GP until u get some much deserved help. I am so sorry you are not going to get the professional help that you deserve straight away.:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
 
rollinat

rollinat

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Margarete, that's so awful for you. I know it's so hard to go and see someone and start talking, but then to be told you have to keep it locked away again for the next 3 months... well, I can only imagine how you feel. I have been lucky in some ways in that I was entitled to some counselling through an employee assistance programme - but only for 5 sessions, and I only have one left so I am a little anxious already about how I will cope once they have finished as I feel I have only just started putting myself back together again.

I wish I could say something to help - the only thing I can suggest really is to use this forum as much as you can, and maybe start your own blog? I started one a few days ago and I know I am writing too much on it but it does help me, just to spend the time writing about things that have affected me during the day - or even to celebrate days when you do feel better, just so you know they do exist.

Keep in touch and take care of yourself.

Rollinat :grouphug:
 
blackdog

blackdog

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Margarete, I'm sorry but I can,t think of any words that will make it better. Take care. :hug:
 
yakuza

yakuza

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Anybody got any good tips on getting through the day with these horrible thoughts and feelings going on all the time.?
Thank you all for reading this post and for all the replies from yesterday.
Hi Margarete,

I think many people find ways of keeping busy can be very helpful.

I find that gentle exercise and focussing on other things of interest helps me but other people find meditation,relaxation techniques,reading,writing and watching comedy on tv/dvd can have its uses too.

Three months seems a long time to wait but getting into a routine and setting yourself 'achievable' targets could be worth bearing in mind.

Good luck with everything :hug:
 
nickh

nickh

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margaret I'm very sorry to hear of your situation - it is terrible that you should have to wait so long. Your question is an impossible one to answer (if we had the answers I guess we would have cured the problem :)) but these are my personal tips...

1.) Keep safe. Do nothing to make yourself worse.

2.) Try to find something that will occupy your mind. This is completely individual; me I go for (to give some examples) watching meaningless TV, video games and re-reading favourite books. None of these require enormous amounts of concentration but they occupy my mind. However other people have completely different kinds of thing - gentle exercise, meditation, gardening, even housework. It is about finding out what works for you.

3.) Always remember that you are ill. This may seem stupid or negative advice but one of the worst things you can do is to start to get guilty about the things you are not doing. That's depression's deadly double bind. The things you do in 2 are a treatment, just the same as going to bed when you have the flu.

Oh and keep coming here :).

Best of luck,

Nick.
 
intelgal

intelgal

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Thats realy good advice Nick

I forget that I am ill sometimes and feel badly for taking up professionals time and energy. But its the old if you had a broken leg nobody would bat an eye:D
 
M

margarete1967

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Thank you all for the tips etc.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and thoughts.
I know there is not much I can do about the waiting time seeing my counsellor so I have decided to follow some of your tips. I used to love gardening so I am going to start spending more time out in the sunshine, perhaps I think this will do me good. Also I am going to try and get back into reading as I have some lovely books that I havent read but want to read them.
i am having my 2 year old nephew to stay for a week while his parents go on holiday, I cant wait. He is just so adorable he melts my heart. I am sure he will take my mind off things.
Tonight i am going to watch the football as my young daughter is such a Chelsea fan. saturday I have to watch our town play at Wembley-I know not everyones cup of tea.
So as you can see I am going to try my hardest and not dwell on the crap issues.
Thank you all once again, you are true honest people.
 
T

telemetry9

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counselling

Just reading back the advice here reiterated things I need to remember in my own life and so often forget.

Ever since going to be assessed last week I haven't been myself since that day when I had to relate a lot of things that are hard to live with at times. I know the assessment was necessary but i wouldn't say it has made my life easier.

On the way home in the car I cried for a long time in remembering things a long time ago and the unhappiness and loneliness of those years. Things I had forgotten until I spoke about them. i had been feeling pretty positive until the assessment and now I am in a kind of fog of depression again - I can't say for sure that the two things are related but I'm hoping that will change.

i have been listening to music on youtube and things I know will uplift me and I have been crying a lot more than usual. Being outside in nature does help a lot if I go to my favourite places where I know there aren't many people around. At least I know I saw someone who genuinely cared about my experience of living with depression and didn't judge me. But I too have to wait some months before they decide I should see a counsellor or not.

So I will go out today and try to shock the depression into submission in someway.

all the best
robert.
 
M

margarete1967

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telemetry9

I know, yesterday after my assesment I cried and cried for most of the day. I told my counsellor some things which are very distressing for me and which I have never told anybody else before. i felt i was trusting her to help me urgently only to be knocked back for 3 months. I thought well Ive lived with this secret for most of my life , surley I can push it to the back of my mind for 3 months.
However, I try to forget the things itold her but now that I have opened my can of worms I feel more depressed than ever. Too many thoughts of what happened years ago are starting to pop into my head and that is one of the reasons I have decided to take up other peoples tips for keeping busy. I cant change my past but I can try not to dwell on it too much. Also I want to live for the future-I have so much to offer but i am just too weak at this moment in time. I keep promising myself that I will get better. god I really hope so.
Keep trying like me, I wish you all the best
 
nickh

nickh

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good to hear from you again robert - haven't seen you in a while (maybe just been on different threads :)).

As you will see margaret everyone hear has their own ideas and remedies, and sometimes these clash. For instance when I am down I deliberately don't do things which I do when well because I find they make me worse - so if I am well being out in the sunshine or listening to music are things which make me feel even better - they lift my heart. If I do the same things when I am ill they have no such effect and this depresses me even more. But for other people music and nature are really beneficial. It is finding out what is good for YOU that matters.

Which is your home town btw - Leeds?

Nick.
 
M

margarete1967

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from Hull

I am from Hull. Supposed to be a depression blackspot. Well it is for me, dont know why. I have a loving husband who works really hard(he does like a good drink though). 3 lovely kids who are my life, all stable and doing well at school and college.
Very close family all around, most within 5mins walking distance. I think I am lonely yet I have people popping round all the time-both sexes.
I get on with anybody as I know I am very laid back(too much so sometimes).
The only reason I can blame on my depression is childhood abuse.(sexual, mental and physical). I always thought it didnt bother me but recently it has been popping in my head more and more. The counsellor was brill-yet she felt her hands were tied cos of the funding issue. She gave me leaflets for rape counselling but I feel that I am labled if I go there, not in a bad way but it seems more real as to what happened to me. Maybee when I get my head round things a bit more I will get in touch with them, but not yet.
Well I am sat in the garden on my laptop listening to the birds,and the background traffic. I feel quite calm this afternoon, must be the sunshine and peace and quiet.
anyway thank you to you all for taking me under your wings and giving me helpful advice. Who knows I might be strong enough to return the favour soon if anyone needs it.:)

























9
 
nickh

nickh

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Ah Hull - well that makes some balance to all those Bristolians here for Saturday :).

But more seriously the roots of depression often lie way back in childhood - or they do for some people anyway ; I am one. I had a very good life when depression first struck which made it all the more incomprehensible both to me and to other people ('what have you got to be depressed about?'!!) - it took a lot of hard psycho-therapy to get to the causes which lay in childhood and those causes can't be obliterated just understood - a voyage of discovery rather than recovery as someone (Quino) said in another thread recently. However just knowing where the roots lie is a good start.

Nick.
 
T

telemetry9

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I am originally from Glasgow and i now live in Bangor in northern ireland. I've been here for about 14 years now. And nice to hear from you Nick and I hope you are doing well.

Thanks Margaret - you sound similar to myself at the moment although i know it's doesn't do to draw comparisons.

Thinking about the past does upset me even though I have found a lot of acceptance about it. I honestly don't think it is helpful sometimes to dig up these things when we may have resolved to put them away for our own health and well being.

I went for a drive but came back to the house as it wasn't changing anything - i did some cleaning etc...Now pretty tired so i'll go to sleep now.

all the best
robert.
 
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