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Messaging is difficult! Any advice?

S

Slime o

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2020
Messages
4
Location
UK
Hello everyone!
I'm sure lots of people feel the same way. Texting, emailing, social media- I find it really difficult to speak to people this way. Depends who the recipient is though because while speaking to friends it can be quite easy and I can sometimes convey things more honestly than in person. But if I'm not that comfortable or close with the other person it can feel like a nightmare. Emails are especially difficult because they are usually sent to people I don't know well. I can spend hours and hours writing an email and end up putting it off until the next day. Sometimes it takes a whole week for me to reply with one or two sentences. It's such a pain but it's because all I really care about is whether I will be liked. When I'm texting friends I frequently begin with 'sorry for leaving you hanging for 2 weeks' or something to that effect. I hate apologising all the time- it probably comes across as insincere since I'm a notorious repeat offender. I worry I get on people's nerves or that people think I hate them or something. But while apologising repeatedly is an option with friends and family, you can't waste time like this in a professional setting or people will give up on you. I want to be able to reply to clients and colleagues quickly without experiencing a disproportionate amount of stress. Has anyone been able to overcome this? How do you message people without being excessively concerned with what people think of you?
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
11,603
Location
Nowhere
hi Slime o :welcome: !

I get that sometimes
and find it helpful to have a 3rd party
that I can send my draft email to before I send it
either my advocate or my step mother or aunt or someone like that

if you can think of anyone that can help you like that

I hope you find the forum helpful
there is a sub forum for work and money issues
where you could post a draft perhaps

:grouphug:🌳🎨🎼🐢
 
T

TyFence

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 21, 2020
Messages
202
Location
NorCal
Yah do that. If your working you are competent. You can always say a prayer for confidence and trust Him. Then step out write you email, put your best into it and trust that it’s ok. Don’t take so long take a risk. You are ok, and everybody thinks so. Be you, you can handle it.
 
Antimatter

Antimatter

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2020
Messages
866
Location
UK
Find a way of sloeing your mind down....

Meditation - yoga - martial arts - jigsaw puzzle
 
S

Slime o

New member
Joined
Mar 26, 2020
Messages
4
Location
UK
hi Slime o :welcome: !

I get that sometimes
and find it helpful to have a 3rd party
that I can send my draft email to before I send it
either my advocate or my step mother or aunt or someone like that

if you can think of anyone that can help you like that

I hope you find the forum helpful
there is a sub forum for work and money issues
where you could post a draft perhaps

:grouphug:🌳🎨🎼🐢
Thank you for the advice, that's a good idea for important things every once in a while. My family would definitely help me out. I just wish I could enjoy these things more because it would make it a lot easier to keep in touch with people and make connections online and things like that. I think maybe I just need to practise not giving myself the time to obsess over what I'm writing. Force myself to be quick and press send. It's hard though :''''-)
Thank you again for the advice, I really appreciate it <3
 
I

Ian Haines

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 5, 2012
Messages
253
Location
Merseyside, North West England.
Send it to yourself - then, don't open and read it until the next day, and put yourself in the real recipient's place, and see what you can add, or take out.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
650
Location
Canada
Yeah I sometimes overthink what I'm saying in an email or post here, go over it several times, edit things, etc.
 
M

ManDss

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 24, 2020
Messages
164
Location
Arg
Hmm... Maybe you should not think too much. Just think if what you are writing is adecuate or not. You should make a path.
I dont struggle with the same, dont know what to tell you, just write something that is logic and thats it !
 
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