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Merry Christmas? or not....

Gajolene

Gajolene

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May 30, 2012
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small town Ontario, Canada
I always find my depression climbing during the christmas season, I avoid facebook, try not to watch too many christmas movies, start feeling guilty for still being in poverty and not being able to get gifts. Hate the tv buy buy BUY!!! commercials.
How does Christmas season affect you folks? :sorry:
 
W

White Dragon

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Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
141
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Norwich
I've felt quite depressed recently. I was doing so well so maybe it is just the time of year. I have been feeling a little better in the last couple of days though. I've just been doing things that may help elevate my mood a bit such as snuggling in a warm blanket with some hot chocolate.
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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Dec 21, 2012
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8,441
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Another planet
I dreading the Christmas and New Year. All it means for me is I will be alone more, no appts etc. I so scared of it
 
W

White Dragon

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Jul 30, 2008
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141
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Norwich
I know what you mean. I'll be without my support workers for a while so I find Christmas a bit difficult in that respect.
 
BlueBerry

BlueBerry

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Sep 13, 2014
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1,261
Location
Edinburgh
Christmas is always a big relief for me. I get a nice break away from tough Uni and get to spend time at home all cozy with my cats watching good christmas TV and eating too much chocolate.

The negative feelings and depression usually kicks in around new year. :(
 
B

Broddo_Faggins

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Jul 10, 2014
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33
Feel shitty at christmas, guilt at receiving gifts but not being able to buy any, seeing judgemental, insensitive family members. Intense feelings of missing out.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Oct 21, 2014
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2,095
Location
UK
I find Christmas hard. My father died at Christmas time, and since then my mother died. I have wonderful memories of Christmases past, but the last few years have been awful. I am dreading it. I will be alone, but probably for the best as it wouldn't be fair on anyone else to spend it with them. I know that it is only a couple of days but somehow it seems much larger than that. To make things worse I am in a bit of a crisis at the moment and can't tell anyone, but that's another story...
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
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13,531
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The West Country
Well, this year i've taken the approach to just accept that Christmas Day itself is going to be shit, but to give myself permission to enjoy the build-up.
I do really like all the window displays, lights and all the prettiness.

Christmas Day itself is going to be very difficult. I have no idea how i'm going to deal with it.

There seems to be a pattern that's been repeated from my childhood.
I had to spend Christmas at my Grandparent's house, sitting at the table and playing "nice" to my Grandfather who was a paedo.
And now i've got to be in the same fake atmosphere only with my brother, another abuser.

What other options have I got?
I was alone on Christmas Day the year I told my parents about my Grandfather.. suppose they just weren't prepared to stand by me and wanted to keep up the illusion.
It's exactly the same with my brother.
 

MarlieeB

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Jan 15, 2013
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Christmas Day is just another day off for me. I just have to spend it with people.

I'm working crazy hours on the lead up to it so will need the rest before I work the crazy hours going into new year.
 
H

Helena1

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Oct 11, 2014
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UK
i am spending xmas on my own. am well looking forward to it. :D i donno why i never thought of it before.
my pressie to everyone will be not having to spend time with me.

i got myself some cranberries to make sauce. i love brie and cranberry sauce. :)
 
R

ramboghettouk

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london
thats a nice way of looking at it, i'll be spending xmas alone
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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May 30, 2012
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7,826
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
Christmas for me brings up a lot of unpleasant memories for most years. When little it consisted of my parents getting drunk and fighting. But we did get presents. At 7 my mother converted to Jehovah's Witness and stopped all holiday's. My dad being athiest and a cheapskate was more than happy to use all that christmas money on beer. My brother tried to take over christmas at his house a few years, those were some of the best christmas' ever. Him and his husband were both chefs and the food was fabulous and he tried to compensate for our missing parents complete with the gifts. My dad had disowned him for being gay and wouldn't communicate or be in the same room with him. So neither parent would come.

In my marriage and after raising my boys I was always in poverty, so charity gifts and toilet paper roll santa's and popcorn strings for ornaments. Always felt guilty I couldn't provide more but always tried to have a lovely supper for them. I always wanted to give them a beautiful stable home and and a wonderfull christmas but tragedies and trauma's always got in the way.

Now I have a hard time with the fact that I'm still in poverty and can't give them that wonderfull christmas I always dreamed to give them even though they are adults. At least we finally have a nice, safe and stable home to spend it in. I will miss my youngest as he won't be with us, too far for him to travel and I don't think he's driving yet. I'm going to cook duck for christmas this year and not sure what else as it depends on the charity basket we recieve from the food bank. No presents at all but bills are caught up so I suppose that's a good thing.

My ex's family always made a huge do over christmas so he will have a lovely christmas with them. Their father I don't think will be around this year which is a good thing as well.
 
tabbykitten

tabbykitten

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Nov 10, 2013
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4,430
Location
cloud cuckoo land (UK)
I always feel guilty at Christmas as my family make so much effort to involve me - this includes extended family some years and I find it very hard to cope.

Christmas day this year will just be DD and myself. Small exchange of presents, she will already have received the usual money transfer into her bank account. We just take things quietly and that will go well. Boxing day might or might not bring DS, DIL and the new grandchild - due any day now. As my DS says, we will be playing it by ear this year.

It will be exciting though with grandchild as it is the first time I will be a grandma.
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Dec 15, 2008
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13,623
I love Christmas day but this year its going to be a tough one. I despise the New Year, everyone being false/ Its a time of year that as always been bad for me, bad things happened at New Year
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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May 30, 2012
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7,826
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
I'm actually making new years resolutions this year. Something I never do, I'm determined to stop procrastinating and start really getting life back. Definately want to be quit smoking before I turn 50 next year at the very least and have to start watching my blood sugars and weight this year too. So throw in exercise to those resolutions as well.
 
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