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Mentally exhausted.

frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
1,288
Location
South Korea
Man....

I'm exhausted.

Just as good as fucked.

Tired of playing the tough guy. Tired of working excessively hard to survive. Fed up of this shit.

You know, life is hard. Everyone is suffering. No one can help or give two shits about me. Everyone is say, occupied.

I didn't say life is easy. But it shouldn't be hard all the time. And I'm exhausted.

But I have to fight on to survive. How? By working excessively hard to the point of mental exhaustion.

I can't get a job. South Korea is known damn well for unemployment. If you want a job, you have to be highly educated. Since everyone's well-educated, the stakes are high. You might ask, "Start your own company." Can't. The big companies will liquidate every chance of that!

Same shit goes to US. Since the economy's screwed since the recession, it's hard to get a job. Since US has high expenses, that's also a minus. To survive in US, I have to do the same horseshit like I do here! Being competitive, working your backs off to be highly educated, and basically getting exhausted.

And what the hell did I learn? Life is hard everywhere. UK is losing healthcare because of US, for instance.

No matter where I go, I have to work my ass off to barely survive. So tired of this shit.

When I was in my early 20s, I wanted to do what I wanted to do. Being a weeb who likes to write short stories and travel. My father opposed this shit. Since life is hard, I had to toughen up. That is no crying, sacrifice your life and be up to standards of the snobby elites. Work to the point of passing out and die. I think that's the resolve. Maybe he was partially right. And I'm getting frustrated.

Who needs to commit suicide when you overwork and burn out? When you can die from it?

I'm a religious man and I can't commit suicide. But I can overwork and die instead.

But instead of dying, I can go psychotic. Since I have Bipolar disorder, I can explode and have a mental breakdown. I can really harm someone.

So what's the point of grinding on? It gets me nowhere. I'm done with this mind-wrack.

But I didn't say I give up on life. I want to live life in a different approach. Go to trips. Japan would be nice. I just wanna take a break until the economy improves... If not, I don't give a rip.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,196
If your exhausted through hard work, your mind and body needs rest. If you aren't enjoying your free time, connect with like minded people, it should lift your spirits. The same goes for when you are working, share the love, it may ease the burden. Hope this helps :)
 
D

Dice

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 20, 2019
Messages
88
Location
UK
It can be notoriously easy for us to beat ourselves up and get caught in a web of negative thinking if we mull our lives through a negative mindset. I was once taught about automatic thoughts, or 'negative automatic thoughts', whereby we - with meaning to - reach out for the worst case scenario rather than the best. Overcoming these by first being aware of them is an important step.
I think a good place to start would be to ask yourself what you want from life. What work do you want to do and what would be important and make your life have sufficient meaning so that you feel content. People always say they want to be happy, for me being content is a good target to aim for because contentedness is peace of mind, and we all need that.
This is a bad time to be thinking too much about anything because there is so much uncertainty, but as things return to normal as the virus threat subsides, many opportunities will open up again. I remember looking a month or two ago and there were no job vacancies at all but now there are some appearing. Then, when working, it is about managing your time and what's important or necessary. Many have been raised to believe that getting as much as you can will make you happy, whereas maybe getting enough to see you through, at least for now, would allow you to have a bit more time and a little less pressure to enable you to take steps forwards to wherever it is you wish to go.
 
P

Princess Zelda

Guest
You mentioned writing. During times when I felt like I had enough of the world, I started writing in a diary or journal. Not on here, but just one in real life. It helped. Sometimes I would read over what I had written and none of it made sense, but at least it was a way for me to describe how I was feeling. But I know this won't solve the problems really.

My advice, and I tell this to everyone, is to be nice to yourself. Know when you've had enough and need a break from stress. Find healthy ways to deal with it. Writing, creating art, going for walks. You shared your photos here of South Korea. I thought those photos looked beautiful. Maybe try something with photography. Again, I know this isn't a way to solve the problems, but it helps us deal with how hard life can be. Good luck with everything and I hope you feel better soon!
 
L

LoveandPeace

Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
9
Location
USA
Life is hard. Rn I'm in grad school. Shit is hard af for me to basic shit. I know Im smart I know I can do anything if I did not have this illness. But I do. So I push and push along as much as I can. Everyday I'm looking to improve. I enjoy when I'm not under pressure. Having a support system is the best. Be there for someone and that someone be there for you the same way. Having a support group is everything. Enjoy life's simple pleasures. Enjoy the sip of delicious coffee you drink in the morning. Enjoy delicious food you had the past days. Do not take life's simple pleasure foregrante there are a lot. Dont downplay the good stuff no matter how small.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,196
Well said LoveandPeace. PS: I love the name, share the love :)
 
B

BeanieDownSouth

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
4
Location
35950
My heart ached the whole way through. ❤

I'm a religious woman. Bipolar 2. Offer it up. On the toilet, in the shower, stuck in traffic, wherever, offer it up. The Lord never said we wouldn't suffer. He knew better, obviously! Offer it up. For the salvation of souls, help for those whose faith is wavering in this crapstorm of Covid and horrible, for those struggling through grief and despair. Offer it up.

It may seem facile or crazy, but I swear, every time I genuinely offer up whatever awful I'm going through, for Him to use as He wishes, the Lord lets me know He heard me. He thanks me. Does my situation immediately improve? No. Not externally. But I feel better in my soul. I've put good out into the world. There's a peace in that I cannot explain.

This world needs as much good as it can get!

And you know, you're stronger than you realize. You're still here! And we kindred spirits are with you, too. You're never alone. I don't mean that as pablum. We're in this together, even virtually.
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
1,288
Location
South Korea
My heart ached the whole way through. ❤

I'm a religious woman. Bipolar 2. Offer it up. On the toilet, in the shower, stuck in traffic, wherever, offer it up. The Lord never said we wouldn't suffer. He knew better, obviously! Offer it up. For the salvation of souls, help for those whose faith is wavering in this crapstorm of Covid and horrible, for those struggling through grief and despair. Offer it up.

It may seem facile or crazy, but I swear, every time I genuinely offer up whatever awful I'm going through, for Him to use as He wishes, the Lord lets me know He heard me. He thanks me. Does my situation immediately improve? No. Not externally. But I feel better in my soul. I've put good out into the world. There's a peace in that I cannot explain.

This world needs as much good as it can get!

And you know, you're stronger than you realize. You're still here! And we kindred spirits are with you, too. You're never alone. I don't mean that as pablum. We're in this together, even virtually.
Thank you for your empathy. Sorry for the profanity, as I am a religious person myself. At that time, I was just worn out. But I'm alright as of now. I know where my directions are...
 

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