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Mentally destroyed... can’t cope with anything anymore

J

Jazzmine84

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
148
Location
Montreal, Canada
I‘ve been suffering from anxiety and depression for a very long time (20 years so far). Managing my mental health condition seems to be a never ending struggle, in a similar fashion as managing diabetes or any systemic and permanent illness. Even though I now have a pretty extensive toolbox: access to therapies, doctor appointments, prescribed medications and even anxiety and stress relief workshops, it only seems to lead to the next relapse. Something always happen to throw me off balance. I try to stay strong, but it’s terribly hard. In fact, it seems to get harder and harder to get up after each colapse. That’s pretty much why I joined this forum. I can’t keep this on forever. It’s destroying me inside. I feel like I’m losing my mind and I fear I’ll eventually snap to the point of no return. I need help.

I wish my family was behind me and supporting me through this ordeal, but I come from a very disfunctional, broken and scattered family on which I can’t rely. The only ones I could really rely on were my grand-parents from my mother side, but they’re both deceased now. They’ve always acted as some kind of surragote parents, so since they died I feel like an orphan. I feel so very alone and drifting. I lost my anchors.

Since I reached adulthood I gradually lost almost everything that was dear to me: family, friends, boyfriend, money, job, study, physical health, mental health, so I’m not sure how much more I can lose without going complety crazy. The list of things that keeps me floating, that makes my life worth living is now so very short that I get anxiety just acknowledging it.

I wish people would stop giving me suggestions, advice and opinions (especially those therapist who seems to really never have known any struggle in life EVER). I just need plenty of HUGS. And thank you for those who read this far. Your compassion and moral support is really appreciated.
 
Blooming

Blooming

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
428
Location
mycountry
Don't give in Jazzmine84 :hug: !

I think a lot of us feel that we have experienced the one hard experience after the other. I think a lot of us feel that our social support network are too small or are at a degree that if something happens to that support system, a big crack will come. I send my ((((hugs)))). For many it is extremely hard to survive in these corona times on the top of everything. Forums like this one can be a good place to make life go on, when we feel that we are stretched as long as our capacity goes. It can be called a "security valve", but nothing more. We are all sufferers and can help each other on the surface. To go too deep can be too difficult and place a burden on one of the parties.

What I mean is that being among other sufferers is the help there is: knowing that one is not alone! :) Life can be unfair, but so it is ...

I have found it most helpful to try to live in the here and now (mindfulness) and what I can do NOW, read, use nature as an antidepressant, cook, sleep ... We cannot change the past, but we can chose how to live now. Sometimes life is a struggle, other times not. But this is the life we have got!

We are all together in this, not face to face, but still together all over the world! :hug::hug::hug:
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
6,120
Location
England
Do you think you might be more reliable than some of the people you rely on? I used to need help from others, and i still do sometimes, but i reaslised at one point that people kept interupting my recovery. I found that other people were affecting how i felt too much, that i was allowing them to affect me and so the best thing might be to trust myself only, for the majority of the time anyway.

I feel now that i am better if i am left alone to sort myself out. I know there are times when we are completely unable to make ourselves better but most of the time i find that with time and rest and looking after myself well with sleep, food and peace, i do feel better.

So many conversations and people in and out of my life, lots of change, it makes me feel worse and i lose my footing. Sometimes we need peace and to listen to ourselves and find other ways of coping like a glass of wine and some music or knitting or cuddling with the cat. Cats are excellent counsellors!

Much can be achieved by a dark and quiet room or a sleeping tablet. I have a lavender diffuser at the moment as just one tool in my box.
 
Faith198

Faith198

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 30, 2020
Messages
1,152
Location
U.S.
Don’t give up, we are here for you. I know I didn’t say much but I just wanted to offer some support. I would hug you if I could but for now I will send you a virtual one. I’ll keep you in my thoughts :hug:
 
Debo

Debo

Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Minnesota
I could have written this and big bear hugs your way! My dream is an off grid homestead community with gardens and animals and fellow sufferers living together in peace and deep understanding, helping each other out on tough days. This idea keeps me going many days, but it gets pretty bad when I feel it will never happen.
 
Carol1952

Carol1952

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
1,825
Location
New England
I‘ve been suffering from anxiety and depression for a very long time (20 years so far). Managing my mental health condition seems to be a never ending struggle, in a similar fashion as managing diabetes or any systemic and permanent illness. Even though I now have a pretty extensive toolbox: access to therapies, doctor appointments, prescribed medications and even anxiety and stress relief workshops, it only seems to lead to the next relapse. Something always happen to throw me off balance. I try to stay strong, but it’s terribly hard. In fact, it seems to get harder and harder to get up after each colapse. That’s pretty much why I joined this forum. I can’t keep this on forever. It’s destroying me inside. I feel like I’m losing my mind and I fear I’ll eventually snap to the point of no return. I need help.

I wish my family was behind me and supporting me through this ordeal, but I come from a very disfunctional, broken and scattered family on which I can’t rely. The only ones I could really rely on were my grand-parents from my mother side, but they’re both deceased now. They’ve always acted as some kind of surragote parents, so since they died I feel like an orphan. I feel so very alone and drifting. I lost my anchors.

Since I reached adulthood I gradually lost almost everything that was dear to me: family, friends, boyfriend, money, job, study, physical health, mental health, so I’m not sure how much more I can lose without going complety crazy. The list of things that keeps me floating, that makes my life worth living is now so very short that I get anxiety just acknowledging it.

I wish people would stop giving me suggestions, advice and opinions (especially those therapist who seems to really never have known any struggle in life EVER). I just need plenty of HUGS. And thank you for those who read this far. Your compassion and moral support is really appreciated.
I understand how u feel and it is awful just awful .So here I am giving u a big hug,I hope it helps
 

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