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Mental hospital destroyed my life

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randomaccess10

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Indeed this could have happened with me. I had extreme stress for a long time and was so ill. Almost died...from the drugs, stress, smoking, i was collapsing getting weird eyesight, hearing, balance, cognitive problems..

My neck really hurts too. I've had multiple MRI scans and there's no structural issues, however how can one tell if there's a problem with the nerves? The MRI report said optic nerves looked fine but slightly asymmetric optic nerve sheaths.

My main issue is this gaze instability. I just wanty eyes to fix on an object and stay still, it's so strange, I can read fine, but (especially distant) objects wobble

I'm settling a deadline, if I can't sort it this year I'm going to depart this life as a matter of rational choice.
 
Cazcat

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The MRI will show if the nerves are trapped or compressed, which is the most common cause of problems.. It will also show swelling that might be pressing on a nerve. Nerve conduction tests can be done for some body parts, where they send electric impulses down a nerve and measure it. Not sure if you can do that for eyes though.
 
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randomaccess10

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I had a couple of MRIs, no structural damage just asymmetric optic nerve sheaths.

I had a VEP test and the latencies were quite high showing some slowing of the signal down the optic nerve but doc still said it was within the normal limits? He didn't however question why...

I'm convinced this is a toxic problem, if it was CO poisoning would damage be evident on an MRI? Anything?

The possibility of this being drug withdrawal diminishes every day... It's been 5 months now since TG he horrific onslaught of forced drugging and although protracted withdrawal I've been told can last many months I was only on these drugs for 3 months.
The coping with the hearing loss depression is excruciatingly impossible, however just keeping my eyes on target would be a godsend. I heard benzos and other drugs can affect the eye movement control centre of the brain (GABA), so I'm praying.
I really could not survive these issues for the rest of my life, vision and hearing are totally screwed up :(
 
Cazcat

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I think an MRI would show any structural damage regardless of the cause. Functional problems do not show on an MRI.
 
valleygirl

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I am utterly horrified to hear all that you have endured in and out of hospitals. It is absolutely despicable.

I am going to suggest something that you may think is too scary, but it could get public opinion on your side, and public opinion has a lot of sway in stories like this. I would suggest that you go to the BBC with your story. Get yourself as organized as possible, and if you have any family and friends who have witnessed what you continue to go through, enlist their help.

Here's the link to BBC's website:
BBC Have Your Say

I am also going to suggest that you contact Usha Patel. All the contact links are here:
Contact Us, Bal-A-Vis-X

Usha Patel is the contact person in Britain for Bal-A-Vis-X, as well as an Organization called Integrated Brain, which teaches a modality of treatment for many things, focusing mainly on learning disabilities, autism, and ADHD. But they also work with patients with anxiety. This modality is called Bal-A-Vis-X, which stands for balance, auditory, vision exercises. The treatment is about 15 minute sessions of simple patterns of passing sand bags or balls between 2 people, gradually increasing the difficulty as the student gets better. I know you have both vision and hearing impairments, but the people who use Bal-A-Vis-X with their clients have ways of communicating with people who have these disabilities.

I don't personally know the people I have recommended to you, but they might be able to put you in touch with a practitioner.

If you want to check out their website, here is the link"
Bal-A-Vis-X, Inc

I notice on their schedule they will be in London 2-4 June 2017, F-S-Sn. I have no idea where in the UK you live, and the conference is quite expensive, but if you explain your story to Bill Hubert, he might let you come in if you volunteer to have him work with you to show people at the conference how it works. The exercises he does deal with balance, vision and hearing, all of which you are struggling with, and at the very least, it could help with your anxiety. You should be able to find Bill Hubert's contact info on the website I linked in this post. I truly hope you will be able to get the help that you need.
 
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diabolicalme

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Hi randomaccess, awful to hear what has happened to you, but sadly, knowing the psych system here in UK (& even more so in USA), I'm not surprised. The last few years I have done a lot of delving into and reading about the anti-psych movement and the invalidity of psych 'diagnoses', and the tragic debilitating effects of so-called psych 'medications' - both taking them AND withdrawing from them. The best umbrella site I've found for all of this is madinamerica which has several prominent contributors (incl from the UK psych profession) challenging the very foundations of psychiatry and the way it is destroying lives. Very much included is critiques of big pharma.

One particular contributor I follow separately is Monica Cassini who became so severely ill thru the cocktail of psych meds she was on for many years, but is now celebrating 7 years drug-free and her slow painful return to health and a functioning life. She was bedridden with brain damage at the worst of it. Loads of useful info on her website about the serious damage psych meds do and how to withdraw as safely as poss

This may be of interest about the potential dangerous effects of anti-deps, including the very useful comments following the article. Duncan Double is a UK psychiatrist who had not come across some of the side effects himself before, despite being an open critic of modern psychiatry - always listen to the 'patient' is the message here I think! Scary tho' : akithisia (restlessness/tremors etc.) is a neurological 'side effect' i.e. anti-deps can/do cause neurological damage, and everyone's sensitivity/susceptibility/resilience will be different.

Antidepressants Increase the Risk of Suicide and Violence at All Ages - Mad In America
 
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diabolicalme

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Another good critic and exposer of the fraud that underpins the whole of psychiatry as a science (!) and the toxicity of its chemical 'treatments', is Joanna Moncrieff (UK psychiatrist) Joanna Moncrieff | Books, papers and blogs by Joanna Moncrieff who is part of the Critical Psychiatry Network, and written several books. NB there is no such thing as an anti-psychotic (nor anti-depressant) - I prefer to use the alternative name neuroleptic which literally means 'seize the nerves' i.e. doesn't work on the 'psychosis' itself but dulls (& damages) your nerves to the extent you are zombified and unable to react. Apart from the toxic effects, where is the quality of life in that long-term? And severe damage can occur even short-term. There are alternatives - see Monica's fab pages.

Think I'll shut up for now!! Could go on and on about this....the more I read, the more scary and corrupt I find the whole (often enforced like you) issue of psychotropic drugs. Stay off them now if at all possible, and really look after yourself, and you should make a recovery. Nerve cells take longer to heal than other cells, but they can and do heal.

Btw I'm stuck on anti-deps still!!!!!! I'm working on a tapering off plan myself :(
 
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diabolicalme

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**akathisia** in my first post (spelling)
 
Kerome

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I've read your thread, it's a horrific story and a testament to the dangers of psychiatric drugs. These days I'm always advising people to try holistic avenues first and only accept situations in which they will be medicated with antipsychotics as a last resort.

I'm convinced this is a toxic problem, if it was CO poisoning would damage be evident on an MRI?
A toxic problem does seem like a good possibility, in which case there is some hope for optimism. In the case of temporary damage, you might try large doses of vitamins and minerals? These can often help by giving the brain increased amounts of the building blocks needed for making repairs. You'd have to do some research on exactly which, I'm not an expert. But I've heard some stories of very impressive recoveries.

In the case of permanent damage to some area, there is still a way out. Given the right stimulus, the brain's ability to self-repair is not bad, but this doesn't always happen through day-to-day use. There are stories of people who suffer brain injuries but recover nearly all function after sufficient therapy.

The possibility of this being drug withdrawal diminishes every day... It's been 5 months now since the horrific onslaught of forced drugging and although protracted withdrawal I've been told can last many months I was only on these drugs for 3 months.
When I was going through attempted drug dosage reductions it would take literally a month before the first symptoms of withdrawal would show up, so really 5 months for recovery is not that long. I'd suggest allowing another 6 months to a year before ruling this out.

The coping with the hearing loss depression is excruciatingly impossible, however just keeping my eyes on target would be a godsend. I heard benzos and other drugs can affect the eye movement control centre of the brain (GABA), so I'm praying.
They can indeed, I have some experience with lorazepam which I understand you were on as well, and it's part of its function as a hypnotic. Have you experimented with hypnosis inducing visual patterns, it would be interesting to see if your eyes would respond differently to those.

I really could not survive these issues for the rest of my life, vision and hearing are totally screwed up :(
Make sure you pay attention to your happiness. From your struggles with depression I am guessing this is an issue for you and it seems like a good idea to do a bit more of what makes you happy. Whether it's baths or playing with a dog, please do try to find some joy in your life.
 
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randomaccess10

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Thanks for the response. There's little hope I have left inside. I've lost my music, the tinnitus is maddening, and even watching TV or a film is pointless since it's double vision, and my eyes wobble around. I've took your advice with large doses of antioxidants, I'm eating well and trying to exercise as best I can.
I saw a Neurologist yesterday and it was a complete waste of time...Nothing can be done, no investigation nothing, simply because I've been labelled with anxiety due to this being triggered by psychiatrict medicine, of course it's all in mind...
It's difficult to see a way forward. Time only seems to be cementing these issues, my quality of life is zero.
The desire to seek justice for this effectively murder of my life is overwhelming too, how can this be possible...
 
Poopy Doll

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Dear RandomAccess, I have read this whole thread. Where to begin ?? I too had my life thrown into TORTURE from prozac. I developed systemic lupus erythematosus. Then they gave me steroids to "cure" it. So in addition to the pain of the disease lupus, I was insane on steroids. Then they gave me a tranquilizer to calm it down. That worked for a year and then I stopped sleeping altogether. I stopped the tranquilizer and that made me suicidal. They locked me in a mental hospital for TWO YEARS of insomnia and high anxiety and mania. I am sharing this for a reason.

Although this happened to me and was an ongoing endless nightmare, I want you to know that it eventually GOT BETTER. I use to say just like you wrote here that if it doesn't get better in a year, I am going to end it all. I said that every year. I even collected the things I'd need to implement my plan. But my story is only valuable to you to say that I GOT BETTER.

The lupus went away on it's own because it was drug induced lupus not regular lupus. That took about three years. They gave me another drug called depakote and that hurt my muscles and that led to a pinched nerve. So then I too was doctor shopping all the time. It took a long time for me to realize the psychiatrists were all a DEAD END.

I am getting off lithium now because it has made my GI tract so very sick. And when the shrink suggested I'd need a different med, I said NO THANKS. I'm getting off this medical merry go round.

But the important thing is to understand that it CAN GET BETTER. Now I can sleep like a baby and feel like a normal person. The torture is over.

Your process for this may be different than mine. I just feel so bad for you having been Tortured and I want you to know that I also was Tortured but now everything is alright. It took some years but now everything is alright. You can get better too. But it takes time.

On the bottom of my post here is my little book which may help you to read so you can see how Little Porcupine went through so much but did get better. :)
 
Poopy Doll

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P.S.

Also, I have tried to bring the fact that some of us have horrible reactions to psyche drugs to the attention of doctors and agencies, to no avail. The drug industry is not interested in the small percentage of people who have horrendous responses to prescription drugs. WE are expendable. Every patient does not count. Only the majority counts and that is making a profit for the system. I tried to get my story and little book on the Dr. Phil show but they are not about to reveal that people go through torture. They want the majority to stick those pills in their mouths and not be afraid to do so.

Just for myself, I found this entire episode in my life to be what has made me the person I am now.


I wish for you the courage to find your way through this.
 
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