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Mental Breakdown?

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personindistress

Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
13
Location
Jeddah
Hi there.
The story:
My parents were talking about how to celebrate (because tomorrow, we have a holiday/celebration) and they said something about going out to get food. And I broke down. I started crying because I felt so bad about people dying from the virus and that we are going out just for entertainment, etc. Then my mom said something along the lines of "We are just going out for one day, its not everyday. Plus your dad also goes out to get groceries, medicine and take-away. So its not that different." And I couldn't speak properly because I was crying and what she said made sense. They asked me again to explain why I was crying and I said what I had said before which was I feel bad about people dying and their families. And they said why again and I just got angry and said it isn't important.

My dad commented "Oh, its just as if you're having a breakdown." So then he asks, "So what are we going to do tomorrow?" and after a beat he continues, "What do you think *my name*?" I said "I don't know." and he was like what do you mean and that not a proper answer. I repeated what I said before and added "its an answer". And some more angry accusations. Now everyones angry.


I regret what I did and just wish that I could go back in time and just stop myself from saying something like that and ruining everyones mood. I don't know why I'm so effing sensitive. Suicidal thoughts kept running through my head. I feel like I don't deserve to be alive and I was irrational. I feel like anything I do, I always mess it up somehow for the people around me. I just want to make everyone happy. I don't know why I'm like this. I can't stop myself from crying, I feel so weak.
 
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potatonugget

Member
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
6
Location
England
You definitely deserve to live. It might not seem like it at the moment but this will pass. You are worthy of living and you are important. Parents don't always understand what your going through so don't blame yourself for anything. Suicidal thoughts are very difficult to manage and I'm suffering with them at the moment but you just have to take it minute by minute. And you'll get through it, I promise. Much love <3
 
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treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
188
Location
Philippines
Listening to good music is helping me. It is therapeutic and refreshes your mind.

You may listen to these songs on youtube:

Overcomer by Mandisa
Good morning by Mandisa
Fearless by Jasmine Murray
I believe I can fly by R Kelly
Don't worry be happy by Bob Marley

It will do you good to not entertain negative thoughts. Do what you love doing and get busy instead. Help someone if you can. You may volunteer online too.

You were made to be a good family member. You were made to be strong and happy.
 
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Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
620
Location
UK
I don't know why I'm so effing sensitive. Suicidal thoughts kept running through my head. I feel like I don't deserve to be alive and I was irrational. I feel like anything I do, I always mess it up somehow for the people around me. I just want to make everyone happy. I don't know why I'm like this. I can't stop myself from crying, I feel so weak.
You should not feel bad because of a conversation you had. It responded in a way you thought was best. Stay strong and work on your relationships. Always.
 
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