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memories

J

justlikeawoman

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hi everybody
i wanted to ask some of you guys a question.
i had some bad experiences in my past. i get "flashbacks" at certain times. i am not aware of anything in particular triggering the flashbacks other than they happen on the same day FRIDAY. i believe this is because these bad experiences happened on Fridays. it doesnt matter if friday is sunny, windy, wet, snowing i have the same flashbacks and sensations in my body that i use to get on those fridays when the bad things happened.
somebody said to me today "why do you get flashbacks, those experiences have gone and dont happen now.?"
well i dont know why i get the flashbacks but i do. i get very frightened, depressed, and very very panicky.
can anybody out there talk about flashbacks.
do any of you get them? do you find them associated with certain things triggering memories? i guess there are a lot of questions i could ask but i would be interested to hear of other people's experiences
thanks:hug:
 
E

ems

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YES YOU CAN HAVE FLASHBACK TO ALL SORTS OF MEMORIES
EVEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD EXPERIENCES WHEN THEY ARE VERY YOUNG AND CANT REMEMBER IN THE CONSCIOUS MIND HAVE FLASH BACKS. I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HAVE FALSE MEMORIES BUT EVEN SO IF YOU GET FLASHBACKS OBVIOUSLY THE EXPERIENCES ARE DISTURBING YOU.
I DONT KNOW WHY ANY PARTICULAR DAY WOULD BRING THE FLASHBACKS ON BUT THE MIND IS AN ORGAN WE KNOW SUCH A VERY LITTLE ABOUT.
IF YOU HAVE A PSYCHIATRIST MAYBE HE CAN HELP YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT.
HOPE YOU DONT SUFFER TOO MUCH BECAUSE IT CAN BE VERY DISTRESSING
HAVING FLASHBACK. I HAVE BEEN THERE AND STILL THERE. I WEAR THE T SHIRT NOW AND AGAIN:hug::flowers:
 
D

Dollit

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My brother died in 1983 in a car crash in the early hours of the morning and the police had to come and wake us all up and take us to the hospital to tell us the news and for us to identify his body. For five or six years afterwards on the anniversary of his death I would wake at the exact time that the police knocked on the door and then go back to sleep to wake at the exact time that we arrived back home. It stopped happening thankfully but it was very disturbing. I think when I finally let go of what had happened and accepted the reality of the whole situation and not just his death then that freed my mind. Some times there aren't answers to why things happen with our mind and our memories because science just hasn't got there yet.
 
E

ems

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Memories

I Think This Is So True.
We Cannot Know Why Things Happen. There Is So Much Goes On Around Us That We Do Not Know, See, And Even If We Could We Wouldnt Understand.
I Am Sorry For The Loss Of Your Brother - It Takes A Long Time For Pain Like That To Ease But Hopefully You Have Good Memories.
Do You Think You Were Suffering A Form Of Ptsd? Has Anybody On Here Had Experiences With Ptsd?
Thanks For Replying:)
 
D

Dollit

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Ems, I don't think I had PTSD. I was grieving, from a dysfunctional family, drinking, taking drugs and I was undiagnosed Bipolar - I would say that it was a reaction to be expected.
 
E

ems

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Memories

YES I GUESS IT WAS GRIEF. IT WOULD BE PTSD IF YOU HAD BEEN IN THE CRASH YOURSELF AND YOU WERE EXPERIENCING TRAUMA FROM THE RESULTING MEMORIES OF IT.
I UNDERSTAND YOUR GRIEF, BELIEVE ME I HAVE HAD A COUPLE PEOPLE WITHIN MY FAMILY KILLED IN ROAD ACCIDENTS.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY
HERE HAVE A COUPLE OF FLOWERS:)
:flowers::flowers:
 
M

Michael

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Over active imagination

Flashbacks are not nice! I try to understand them by acknowledging that I have a very overactive imagination.
I let it control me instead of me controlling it.

I have to work VERY hard sometimes to regain control, and I do this at the moment by trying to work out a closure, if I can't then I try to convince myself there is nothing more I can do, acknowledge the memory for what it is - a memory!

No it doesn't work all the time, in fact when I first started it didn't seem to work at all, but it helped me have a method of working through it, bit by bit I got closure on aspects of it, and then I could get to the stage where I could go no further and then a limited closure started and grew. It is NOT a quick fix, but then again anything thats worth doing is rarely done quickly - we have had a life time to learn to be what we are now, we can not unlearn it in a matter of days/weeks or (sorry to say) months.

Writing has helped me more than therapists, as I can write exactly what I feel at any time without someone saying what they think about it. This helped me to move forward more than anything/anyone else.

Having said that I am me and you are you, we are all different, maybe you have to work at finding a solution that works for you - maybe by reading how it seems to have worked for others you can cobble something together that works for.
If you do please tell us about it, it may help someone else.

Best Wishes

Michael
 
justme

justme

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sometime i have flash backs but one i want to share is one of me running happy in a poppy field a warm sunny day a child and all care free
thats the image i try get back too when i am fighting the realms
 
D

Dollit

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That's a beautiful thing to write and a really positive way of trying to help yourself. I must try something similar when I'm really ill - I remember being in Madurodam when I was 9 and feeling so big even though I was an undersized kid and feeling powerful because of all the small models. :tea:
 
daffy

daffy

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Its funny cos the other week when i couldnt sleep a memory just came to me of when i was little .

It was night time and we were in morecambe. I cant remember the name of the park but it was on the seafront and i was holding hands with my dad. The park was lit up like a fairy grotto, and there was big toadstools lit up, and little creatures were all over. It was really magical, and really realaxed me,:)
 
D

Dollit

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What a comforting thing to remember. Do you think we should start our own research project on the value of good memories in treating ill health? I'm actually semi-serious here - we all have ways of coping and would it be a good idea to try this as well? :)
 
daffy

daffy

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That would be a good idea. Whenever therapy is talked about its seems they only want to know the negatives in your life and arent interested in the positives.If they could get you to focus more on the good things that have happened it may help you to overcome the negatives
 
D

Dollit

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Okay - does anyone fancy being the collator of memories? I know when I read the posts that daffy & justme wrote about their memories it made me feel good just reading about them. A friend has just texted with details of the up and coming split from his partner and I'm focusing on being in his garden one summer with the kids running round like wild things because it's too hard otherwise.
 
R

Roxy

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Hi Daffy

I'm sure I know the name of the park in Morecambe that you were dreaming about. I think it was Happy Mount Park near the seafront and it was always lit up at night during the summer season with lovely moving displays to watch. My ex and I used to take our kids there when they were young and they loved it too. I'm so pleased that you have such happy memories of your childhood, wish I could say the same about mine.

But hey they do say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so that's something to be grateful for.:hug:
 
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