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Masturbating and Self Harm..

T

TooFarGone

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Joined
Dec 8, 2014
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Hey everyone, I kinda want to get straight to the point of what is happening. But I just want to point out I have never been sexually abused, so it not behind this.

I suffer from depression and have self harmed and had a serious suicide attempt leaving me in hospital for a while.

I have managed to stop self harming, which is great. I still feel really tempted, a lot of the time but I can get past it; However I have started self harming again, but in a different way. It is really weird and mentally destroys me.

I am a straight guy and I masturbate to Gay Porn. I receive NO PLEASURE from this, just a horrible feeling due to performing a sexual act on myself to something which does not attract me. It makes me feel horrible and this is why I think I do it. I will not orgasm from this usually, sometimes I do but I feel nothing from it. I am often left sore due to friction burns from how long it takes.

I am left feeling horrible and disgusting.. I know this is the end result and this is why I think I do it.. I have nothing against gay people AT ALL! But I am straight, and It feels disgusting and horrible to masturbate to something which you have 0 attraction to.

I need and want to stop, but just like self harming it is not as simple as JUST STOPPING.

I want some help and advice, please.

Thank you everyone for taking time out to read this.
 
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LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Yeah I am with you.

It is a complex disorder.

Have you tried doing something more interactive? Perhaps get your mind into something else? Sexual wise?
 
T

TooFarGone

New member
Joined
Dec 8, 2014
Messages
2
Yeah, it don't seem to help. It is nothing sexual, its just self harming and it happens to be sexual. This happens to be the way my brain has decided to make me want to harm myself :/
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

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Joined
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Messages
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Location
The Prancing Pony
Yeah, it don't seem to help. It is nothing sexual, its just self harming and it happens to be sexual. This happens to be the way my brain has decided to make me want to harm myself :/
Some people would say this activity means you have a sexual preference to men. Go gentle and don't be afraid to experiment.

I suspect in time you will tire of it.
 
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