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Masochism - adult content! But not vulgar.

cloudberry

cloudberry

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I realise that this is maybe a contentious subject. But I felt this week that unless I told my psychotherapist about my massively masochistic sex drive I might as well not continue seeing her. As nothing will make any sense.
I've seen her for three months now.
The last time I told a therapist she wore this pained look on her face, so I couldnt tell her anymore about it.
I had quite a lot of sexualisation as a child as many of us probably had. I feel that my body has sort of coped with this by "packaging" it. Like an oyster makes a pearl out of the bit of grit that gets in its shell.
Its a coping mechanism. And it works.
I walked into my therapy session this week, announced it, and told her I was leaving.
She took it, and reminded me to come back .

I'm now panicking that I told her and feel like closing up again.

I am meeting two guys I have met online next week. Both are sadists. Does anyone else have this?

I am also probably a nymphomaniac.

Bit of a nightmare!

I dont want to offend anyone. But this is a big issue to me and with my self help strategy, I would like to know if anyone else who has been abused has this preference.

Please reply by private email if you prefer. Might be best.

cloudberry
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Well done cloudberry!

As you say without saying it nothing else would make sense - you've been very brave - braver than I could ever be (there's some very silly stuff that goes on in my head that I can't bring myself to say infront of my psychologist) but now you can move past this and hopefully sort some things that you want sorted - whatever... here's a big hug from me :hug:! Even if you do feel yourself closing up I hope that you carry on seeing your therapist as I'm sure this will give you a way forward.

Take care of yourself,
Honey, xx
 
Aahbut

Aahbut

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Hi Cloudberry, if you are happy about it then that's great. There are far too many people in this world wanting to put their oar in and tell us what we can and can't do.

I told my psychologist a few outrageous things and she didn't bat an eye lid, I was really peeved. :D
 
S

Starbright

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Congratulations on telling your therapist. She might have some useful insight and you might find you can explore it (if you want to). I'm sure she's heard it all before.
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Dec 18, 2007
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I realise that this is maybe a contentious subject. But I felt this week that unless I told my psychotherapist about my massively masochistic sex drive I might as well not continue seeing her. As nothing will make any sense.
I've seen her for three months now.
The last time I told a therapist she wore this pained look on her face, so I couldnt tell her anymore about it.
I had quite a lot of sexualisation as a child as many of us probably had. I feel that my body has sort of coped with this by "packaging" it. Like an oyster makes a pearl out of the bit of grit that gets in its shell.
Its a coping mechanism. And it works.
I walked into my therapy session this week, announced it, and told her I was leaving.
She took it, and reminded me to come back .

I'm now panicking that I told her and feel like closing up again.

I am meeting two guys I have met online next week. Both are sadists. Does anyone else have this?

I am also probably a nymphomaniac.

Bit of a nightmare!

I dont want to offend anyone. But this is a big issue to me and with my self help strategy, I would like to know if anyone else who has been abused has this preference.

Please reply by private email if you prefer. Might be best.

cloudberry

Takecare cloudberry with the guys off the net :hug:
Have you gave some one all the info etc & sorted a checking in time ?
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Anyone heard from cloudberry ??

Hope alls well :cry:
 
S

Starbright

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Try not to worry. There are a million reasons why she might not have been on. Let's keep an eye on this post so that we know when she comes back
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Try not to worry. There are a million reasons why she might not have been on. Let's keep an eye on this post so that we know when she comes back

Okie dokie ........... noticed she logged on at 2.20pm today
 
cloudberry

cloudberry

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I'm OK, getting by

Hi to everyone. I'm ok thanks. But its really sweet that you noticed I hadnt been online much. Met three "doms" this week and every one of them was characterless and humourless. So havnt met the man of my dreams yet!

Had some good news this week, will post about it later as am off to church now.

Best wishes to all,

cloudberry
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Hi to everyone. I'm ok thanks. But its really sweet that you noticed I hadnt been online much. Met three "doms" this week and every one of them was characterless and humourless. So havnt met the man of my dreams yet!

Had some good news this week, will post about it later as am off to church now.

Best wishes to all,

cloudberry
Hiya

Pleased alls well .............. think my protective streak kicked in . I have a very good friend who is involved ( for want of a better word ) with this. Until she found a decent dom i used to worry like mad about her.

Look forward to reading about your good news :)
 
cloudberry

cloudberry

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Messages
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Location
North Lincolnshire
Update

Hi to all,

saw my psychotherapist again last week and she was very good about the masochism revelation, as some on here predicted she would be. She didnt land straight on it either. But she does want to talk about my mother. Its likely an incident with my mother created the masochistic connection within me.

I met another guy last weekend, he came up from London, a "dom". Yes! I lodged his home address, landline, mobile number and full name with a good friend who lives very near here! Safety first.

He stayed (in the spare room), we had dinner and a walk and look around Beverley Minster in the morning. It went really well. He made me feel really calm and he was very sensitive and intelligent. We are hoping to see each other a bit more and see where it goes.

I do have issues with the distance though, not sure that LDR's suit me. He did say he could relocate though and was more than happy to travel to me every weekend. So thats good.

So I feel like I might be making some progress. Perhaps?

Once again, its so good to have this space to connect with. Thankyou all. Hope you all have a really good day.

from cloudberry;)
 
intelgal

intelgal

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Glad things went well Cloudberry! :D
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Yep - I've my fingers crossed for you.
 
whisper

whisper

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me three :)
masochism can be a wonderful and liberating thing aslong as you've got someone you can trust as the dom, distance is always an issue but if he's ok to travel than thats really good :)
hope the next session with the psychotherapist is ok
good luck :hug:
 
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