Married a Psychopath ~ It's not over yet

[jalenga]

I married a psychopath 4 years ago. The problems started before the marriage but I was naive enough to think things would get better. From day one after the marriage, gradually became more and more abusive, controlling, threatening and violent. He is Mr. Charm in public, intelligent and decieving. He mimicks emotions and claims to be a life coach, yet he has no conscience whatsoever for those he uses for financial gain or sexual gratification or any kind of benefit to him and him alone.

I eventually escaped and and although I have lost all my money and my possessions at least I am able to try to rebuild my life. The whole bullying and mind games were incredible and I feel ill equipped to find help from anywhere with no means to pay for legal help or therapy that I feel I need. I am alone and living day to day. I have no permanent refuge or safe house, as am an expat in third world country and no means to support myself. I am now getting death threats and more and the communications don't let up. He has countless other victims, I believe he has killed before and certain he could and would kill me if he were to find me.

I can't seem to find anyone in my country or where I am now who can help. I know in my research I am just one of many, but where should I go now?

 

[madsheep]

Hey.
erm. not really sure what to say or suggest. just wanted to let you know that I have read your post and really feel for you. I was just wondering, and you dont have to say if you dont want, but what country are you in?
Take care
Madsheep

 

[maudikie]

maudikie.

I don't know what country you are in but i should go to the consulate and ask for help and advice.

 

[jalenga]

I don't know what country you are in but i should go to the consulate and ask for help and advice.

Consulate will not help me but advise me to return to UK and seek refuge centre or hire a lawyer @ £250 per hour. I have no income and no help. I am in Central America. Police protection is minimal. Will only act after the event. UK can't do anything as I am not in the country. What I am wondering is if I return on what little I can raise to get me back then what? Homeless or will I get some help support and protection without funds or family?

 

[jalenga]

Hey.
erm. not really sure what to say or suggest. just wanted to let you know that I have read your post and really feel for you. I was just wondering, and you dont have to say if you dont want, but what country are you in?
Take care
Madsheep

Thanks for listening. Half scared that he may read something online and figure out my plea for help and sabotage it like everything else. I am in Central America.

 

[Rosepoet]

Hi i feel for you i have a adopted daughter who has serious personality disorder. She played mind games too i was scared me what she would do next. These people are dangerous whether man or woman. You are in a bad situation but you should ask refuge or womans aid for advice. You in another country but you could ask them online. They would advise you even if you live abroad. These are safe schemes which move women to other countries.

 

[jalenga]

Thanks for your help and advise but seem to have exhausted all options. Citizens advice, Womens refuge orgs, domestic violence help lines, Consulate, UK police and even written to MP where I lived.......All same story. Either can't help me because I am not in the country or say that no police protection available as no evidence of crime committed or laws broken. All I know is the threats still keep coming and he says he will hunt me down because he considers he is the victim and he has been stolen from and I ruined his life. He has turned it all round and he is so very very convincing. Acts out emotions and gains sympathy.....He has an income, he has returned home, he is threatening to come back and I don't know how long I can cope with looking over my shoulder or keeping my sanity.

 

[*Sapphire*]

How is he managing to threaten you? Can you not stop all contact with him?

Is there a law there for harrassment? Can you get an injunction?

 

[jalenga]

Yes I can stop and have stopped where I can but there always third parties and people claiming to be lawyers and whatever. Part of me wants to keep informed as to his whereabouts and try to second guess. There are no means of getting a restraining order unless I try to go through a very expensive lawyer and even then doubts as anything would be enforceable here. It seems there are no real answers.

 

[*Sapphire*]

I would try contacting this organisation, if they can not help they may be able to point you in the right direction. Their current campaign is stopping violence against women.

http://www.amnesty.org.uk/index.asp

 

[*Sapphire*]

I would also try contacting this organisation, you might be interested to know that their current campaign is working on justice and rights of those in Bolivia.

http://www.christianaid.org.uk/whatwedo/issues/rights-and-justice.aspx

I think your circumstances are so similar to their current campaigns that they may well take up your case.

 

[*Sapphire*]

This organisation is for all UK expats it may be worth contacting them too and seeing if they have any advice;

http://www.expats.org.uk/

 

[*Sapphire*]

What about your family? Are any of them in the UK?
Or friends?

 

[*Sapphire*]

Did you contact any of those organisations? Are you okay?