manic mistakes

[grace68]

I've done it again. I've booked flights for me and my husband for the summer. Now I'm depressed I know that husband will be horrified by poor choice,very expensive flights to jersey for 4 days. I cant tell him, I do the banking, i keep transferring money out of our savings. Yet another guilty secret. Cancellation impossible. I really cant tell husband he will insist on using the flights but it'll be a disaster. I have had to cancel holidays in the past. i just have to write off another £400. So so stupid, and spent same amount on expensive makeup
Most of time I too depressed to wear makeup, I hardly ever wear it. I am HATING this crazy bipolar. It is humiliating and ridiculous. Why cant I be happy without being mad. I keep seeing psychiatrist and tried just once a new med, but I'm too scared to change from lithium and Prozac which I've been on for years. Have bounced back to GP now, I missed an appointment with psych, she phoned me and I said I was fine. I don't want to change meds again anyway.
Why am I posting this, I just wanted to offload. Is anyone else like me though?

 

[Coastatsunset]

Grace,

If you have bipolar and have a tendency to make impulsive purchases in a manic phase, why on earth are you managing the family budget and savings??

Your bad decisions will affect everyone and drive a wedge between you and your husband.....and as for not telling him.....you are being incredibly reckless and totally irresponsible. How can you treat your husband so badly.....I'm sorry, but it's appalling behaviour. And your husband should immediately relieve you of handling the family savings and household money until you have established a sensible approach to money.

Sit down and talk to your husband, be honest with him, and give him your bankcards and credit cards. If your irresponsible patterns of spending continues unabated then your husband should remove your name from the joint account.

If you're that ill, there is no way your husband should place you in the position of family money manager. He is just as reckless as you are by giving you responsibility you are unable to handle.

So many relationships end because of money issues, I am astounded by your lack of accountability....

Sort it out if you want to keep your husband and your family home.

 

[BorderlineDownunder]

I've done it again. I've booked flights for me and my husband for the summer. Now I'm depressed I know that husband will be horrified by poor choice,very expensive flights to jersey for 4 days. I cant tell him, I do the banking, i keep transferring money out of our savings. Yet another guilty secret. Cancellation impossible. I really cant tell husband he will insist on using the flights but it'll be a disaster. I have had to cancel holidays in the past. i just have to write off another £400. So so stupid, and spent same amount on expensive makeup
Most of time I too depressed to wear makeup, I hardly ever wear it. I am HATING this crazy bipolar. It is humiliating and ridiculous. Why cant I be happy without being mad. I keep seeing psychiatrist and tried just once a new med, but I'm too scared to change from lithium and Prozac which I've been on for years. Have bounced back to GP now, I missed an appointment with psych, she phoned me and I said I was fine. I don't want to change meds again anyway.
Why am I posting this, I just wanted to offload. Is anyone else like me though?

just to tell you antidepressants can cause mania this is a Medical Fact.



yeah I didn't know either

there is a possibility that if they remove the Prozac they remove the mania

so sorry you had to find out this way

 

[Topcat]

FFS some people do suffer with mania without taking antidepressants, yes, antidepressants can have mania as a side effect, and can make mania that is already present worse, it's well known in bipolar treatment and exactly why pdocs don't prescribe antidepressants as a monotherapy.

 

[BorderlineDownunder]

FFS some people do suffer with mania without taking antidepressants, yes, antidepressants can have mania as a side effect, and can make mania that is already present worse, it's well known in bipolar treatment and exactly why pdocs don't prescribe antidepressants as a monotherapy.

what are you pissed about TC - OP is asking for HELP here...!

OP hasn't had a med review for Years it sounds like and I bet my arse none of er docs have told her about the AD/mania link just like no one told me!

Its possible that shes falling into mania

Something may not be Working anymore (which tends to happen after years on same meds)

 

[Harper]

Hi grace.

I am sorry to hear that you are also struggling with a severe mental health problem which I recognise as bipolar disorder. This illness confuses and leads you down different avenues.
Coast and BDU have replied but they have no idea of how this illness confuses and takes away sensible decison making.

I have this same diagnosis and am educated and intelligent and with the best will in the world it is so hard to overcome.

It is not your fault and you are looking through the eyes of a severe mental illness.

My heart goes out to you because people do not recognise just what a hard battle you are fighting

Warm wishes,

Harper x

 

[Topcat]

what are you pissed about TC - OP is asking for HELP here...!

OP hasn't had a med review for Years it sounds like and I bet my arse none of er docs have told her about the AD/mania link just like no one told me!

Its possible that shes falling into mania

Something may not be Working anymore (which tends to happen after years on same meds)

Because you keep announcing on threads that people's mania is being caused by their antidepressants, like people being treated for bipolar never heard of it before.
I'm not saying you're wrong, maybe a med review would be a good idea, but even with medications, bipolar symptoms happen.

 

[BorderlineDownunder]

rephrased

OP the info I was trying clumsily to convey

ive just come off Zoloft after 20 years because after 20 years it had sent me manic

now did it CAUSE the mania? who knows.

but since ive stopped the Zoloft the mania has stopped too. is stopping.

I posted in frustration here about the pattern of early morning depression I was experiencing - every fucking morning like clockwork - id wake up ok then an hour or two in Down I went - Swan Dive

around about the same time I took my AD as it happens

this mood plummet stopped entirely - ENTIRELY

so has the Mania but that's ebbing slowly

ive been manic all year on one drug - an AD.

then come to read only last week that ADs can exacerbate/trigger/cause mania all by their lonesome

all these years I was pretty much being chemically mismedicated

also they think I have bipolar and there is No Way on Gods Planet im taking lithium

its just too dangerous

x sorry cant be of more help Do what I did ----READ

Its amazng what you learn re these meds which should be a stop gap/extreme case only but are THROWN at us like candy witout eff all follow up

bdu

My opinion only x

 

[BorderlineDownunder]

Because you keep announcing on threads that people's mania is being caused by their antidepressants, like people being treated for bipolar never heard of it before.
I'm not saying you're wrong, maybe a med review would be a good idea, but even with medications, bipolar symptoms happen.

I keep suggesting it is because MINE WAS

ive spent 20 years tc 20 fucking YEARS being medically maniced!

DENYNG THIS or saying the Docs Know Best = WE ALL know the docs know eff all and getting them to transmit what they DO know is like pullin teeth for us MI>most mumble or just don't bother to answer or mention little details like Side Effects!

imagine how furious I am I coulde been spared this year sucicide attempt if only they hadn't thrown more ADs at me

I realize Its Personal and it probably shouldn't be but if I don't tell OP NO one else will

 

[Topcat]

It says it in the drug information leaflet that comes in the box.
https://www.medicines.org.uk/emc/medicine/23062
Check out Warnings and Precautions.

Just FYI in case there's a next time

 

[BorderlineDownunder]

It says it in the drug information leaflet that comes in the box.
https://www.medicines.org.uk/emc/medicine/23062
Check out Warnings and Precautions.

Just FYI in case there's a next time

also tc

It seems that OP may have the mania

the title of her thread says it all

so shes on the lithium and the Prozac and appears to be MANIC ANYWAY

I dunno about you but this to me just Screams Med Fail

and I can suggest a reason why from first hand experience

OP get a second opinion educate yourself ask other sufferers read up these boards. Sadly its a case of Self Care just like so much else in our health system.

so sorry you are suffering like this it sucks

PS> it occurs to me if you have a husband you have Built In Observation. What is his opinion?

 

[Harper]

BDU, Have you a diagnosis of bipolar disorder?

I have this same diagnosis and have taken some meds which have caused mania.

I now have a medication which does not cause mania and which helps prevent depression.

Not all ADs cause mania and I think it it is important to take balanced view of medications because some of us with bipolar would not be alive if some meds were available.

I know all the prescribed meds you have experienced have not been good for you and you have chosen to take Marijuiana.

You have a diagnosis of BPD and have diagnosed yourself with bipolar disorder.

I am not undermining your self-diagnosis because only you know you.

Many of us with this same diagnosis have read all of the information available to us and have to take risks. Perhaps you are under the impression that WE do not know. If this is the case then please excuse me.

I have only taken meds to save my life because most meds are toxic which I am well aware of. I suppose the question is as to whether I should take such toxic meds - or just choose to die.

 

[grace68]

I've been on lithium and Prozac for years. Cant easily come off them .have looked into alternatives and discussed with psych, she suggested to swap lithium for depakote. Only took a few depakote and had to stop them,made me feel suicidal. So then she just increased my Prozac to 60 mg. I became manic, but lacked insight. Missed a recent appointment with her, she phoned me, I said I felt great and was happy to go back to the GP. I feel defeated. I've reduced Prozac back to 40mg and continue on lithium. I cant face asking for immediate rereferral, the GP always seems to bounce me back there.

 

[Harper]

Hi grace,

I can totally empathise with your situation and only recently, I became manic and believed I had won the lottery so made a few donations of money to good causes. A new med was added which may have prompted this although it could have happened anyway with this diagnosis because I was under severe stress at that time.

It is so hard getting the right meds to achieve stability. It does sound like a visit back to psych may be useful. 20 mg increase in the AD is quite a large leap and I can understand why the higher dose was prescribed due to you feeling suicidal. A different pdoc may have upped your lithium and your AD. The pdoc should have known that your mood may have escalated therefore she should not have discharged you.

My situation has improved so not under as much stress - therefore my mood has settled for which I am grateful. I have reduced my meds as a result.

I hope you can find the right dosage to enable you to feel some sort of stability.

Very best wishes, Harper

 

[Poopy Doll]

Hi Grace. Yes, it is very frustrating being affected by the bipolar. I once bought an expensive cat when I was manic. I'm allergic to cats. LOL But all kidding aside, I NEVER handled the money, the finances until very recently as I am on an even keel now for several years. The person who advised you to cease being in charge of things is telling you the truth. No credit cards for you.

 

[Poopy Doll]

And a word to BDU about lithium. It's a basic element, as you probably know. If you have a genetic tolerance for it, there is no trouble taking it for years, for life. I resisted taking it twenty five years ago and lost my family due to my antics. Now I'm having a very calm life on it. I also take a minute dose of navane. I credit the navane with my stability also.

I saw a program on public television called Riding the Tiger. They said lithium was the gold standard for bipolar disorder. Then they proceeded to show all the new tests that have been devised to diagnose people. This trial and error approach will be replaced one day soon. That will be wonderful.

 

[grace68]

Coastatsunset
.i wrote the OP when deeply depressed.negative. Catastrophising
Now I am a lot clearer headed.
You make a lot of assumptions and judgements based on a two paragraph post. You know nothing of my situation apart from that heartfelt regret that I had overspent again. That I had been hypomanic, again. That in my depression I felt like everything was a disaster.
Now please can I put a few things right.
Despite a lifelong struggle with bipolar I have worked 30 years as a nurse. Brought up two kids, many years as single parent. 8 years ago, I remarried. My husband has been out of work more than in it. We don't have a mortgage , we combijned our assets and were able to buy our house outright. We also have savings, which we have split in half, variously invested. I have some of my savings in the same bank as our joint current account. So its my savings that I sometimes transfer into our joint account. I can work overtime shifts to replenish my savings. I know I made it sound terrible, that was genuinely how I felt. But I am responsible and have never even had an overdraft, or a credit card, or any debt.
Also, sadly, my husband is very controlling. He does not like me going out, so when I am not at work, I am at home, or visiting family, always with my husband. He does not approve of takeaways or eating out or cinema trips. My teenage kids have left to live with their father, they couldn't stand it anymore. So life is tough. Sometimes I lose it a bit and splurge. The flight tickets will be fine. I will find the cheapest accomidation possible. Husband will complain, but I've always wanted to go to Sark. I will make it happen.
The combination of bipolar and a controlling husband is awful. I have very low self esteem. I am told often how rubbish I am, as a wife and a mother. I put a post on MHF and get told off for my appalling behaviour and irresponsibility. Thanks for that.

 

[Overseer]

I've done it again. I've booked flights for me and my husband for the summer. Now I'm depressed I know that husband will be horrified by poor choice,very expensive flights to jersey for 4 days. I cant tell him, I do the banking, i keep transferring money out of our savings. Yet another guilty secret. Cancellation impossible. I really cant tell husband he will insist on using the flights but it'll be a disaster. I have had to cancel holidays in the past. i just have to write off another £400. So so stupid, and spent same amount on expensive makeup
Most of time I too depressed to wear makeup, I hardly ever wear it. I am HATING this crazy bipolar. It is humiliating and ridiculous. Why cant I be happy without being mad. I keep seeing psychiatrist and tried just once a new med, but I'm too scared to change from lithium and Prozac which I've been on for years. Have bounced back to GP now, I missed an appointment with psych, she phoned me and I said I was fine. I don't want to change meds again anyway.
Why am I posting this, I just wanted to offload. Is anyone else like me though?

Hello, is there any way around this? I know that you cannot control the episodes, but can you make it so that the bank will stop you from incurring unwanted expenses?

Can you have a system where the funds you can spend are limited and your husband can buy the big ticket items for you or give you cash when you both agree to the purchase? What safe guards can you use, knowing that you cannot control your bipolar episodes?

Im sure that you and your husband have the best idea of what works best for you. Please also consider the what if situations , like what if I need petrol?

Just so you know I have not read pg 2, and this is based off of your original post.

 

[tiltawhirl]

Bipolar is treatable, a controlling husband is not. No way would I hand my income over to him.

 

[Topcat]

My friend who has bipolar and had run up a lot of debt spoke to her bank about repayments, explained that she had bipolar, and they put her through to somebody who dealt with that especially. They were really helpful and understanding and helped her with whatever they could do, like freezing interests and stuff.
Just thought I would mention as the bank may have a special person in case of needing advice.
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