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manic depression?

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Bruno

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
7
Hi, I don't know how to start this so I'll just try and explain my situation.

Usually there's no problem but often i go through stages of real depression, this has been happening for a few years now but i have never done anything about it because by the time I've decided that I'm going to talk to an expert, I'm feeling fine again and just assume that i was overreacting and being dramatic. These episodes rarely last more than 24 hours but during that time, i feel like i have just realized i an not happy with my life, and i find it impossible to imagine ever enjoying myself again. It doesn't affect me on a physical level other than a feeling of weakness in my limbs and chest, but people do notice when I'm in this state, so i try and keep to myself during these times.

There have been occasions when I've tried to explain it to close friends, but i can tell they aren't truly taking it seriously because I'm not exactly someone that people would associate with any form of depression. This is because I'm normally a very social person, I'll often even be intensely energetic and make jokes and laugh and shout and just generally be a very loud and probably pretty annoying person.

I have a feeling I may have level of Bipolar disorder, I'm just looking for some second opinions based on the information. Any responses would be hugely appreciated.. thanks
 
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Dollit

Guest
No one here can make a diagnosis of that sort. All people can do here is offer peer support. If you need to talk to someone it's best off going to your GP first and talking things over with them.

One thing to bear in mind though is that the range of mood that is considered normal is quite wide. Everybody has bad days that are noticeable and everybody has good days so full of energy that they can't stop. With Bipolar Disorder there are many other factors to consider.
 
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Bruno

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
7
Factors like what? Is there anything consistent with all sufferers?
 
D

Dollit

Guest
I'm not going to give you a list because it's quite easy to latch on to symptoms and see them in your own behaviour which is why it's not good to go looking for pages on the internet that describe things in great detail. It really is a good idea to go and talk to a GP. And practically the only thing that all people with Bipolar have in common is the mood swings and those vary considerably from person to person.
 
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Apotheosis

Guest
Factors like what? Is there anything consistent with all sufferers?
Personally I think there is.

Like Dollit says - we can't give a diagnosis; or say what could be wrong from what you have shared.

There are many perspectives on this 'stuff' - from the orthodox; to 'alternative' & more esoteric ideas. Try some Google searches. I have spent over a decade looking into what could be at 'cause'.

IMHO - Had I presented my 'symptoms' slightly differently - I could have easily been diagnosed as Bi-Polar as opposed to 'Schizophrenic' - it is in fact a question which has been raised with medical practitioners. I have seen & heard a lot of people's diagnoses switching & changing; in fact it seems like the norm.

Having a diagnosis can sometimes have it's uses - given the climate we live in - But a diagnosis has never 'explained' anything to me, in fact it has been detrimental. I see things more holistically; that there does indeed appear to be certain elements common within all 'mental illness' - especially in relation to trauma, & psychological/spiritual elements. It's a lot to do with perspective. Things are multi-faceted. Like any condition - whether 'physical' or not - there are many criteria & influencing factors.
 
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Bruno

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
7
I'm really reluctant to see a GP about a diagnosis, i think because when I'm having the appointment or whatever, I'll feel normal and not remember accurately enough how i feel during episodes. And i probably won't even take myself seriously, because i can't help but think i overreact when i look back at a recent episode from a neutral state of mind. And I'll just end up looking like an attention seeking teenager who wants an official excuse to act unusually.
 
D

Dollit

Guest
First of all - if you really want some help for whatever it is you feel you have then your GP is the first port of call.

Write down how you feel during these periods that you feel things are abnormal.

You mention for the first time (I think) that you are a teenager. Hormones can do some amazing things to your head - the chances are that what you're experiencing is just part of being a teenager so what have you got to lose to by visiting your GP?
 
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Bruno

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
7
Well, I'm 19, and i think i finished with that mental hormone stuff a couple of years ago, and this is very different. Although I can't remember getting like this before all that. Can adolescence trigger it?
 
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Apotheosis

Guest
Well, I'm 19, and i think i finished with that mental hormone stuff a couple of years ago, and this is very different. Although I can't remember getting like this before all that. Can adolescence trigger it?
I was sectioned at aged 17. The teenage years I found very traumatic. Some of the issues from then, I am still dealing with now. What I put it largely down to, or one aspect anyway, was the pressures of the transition from 'boy' to man, & all that entailed. How I should behave, what I should do, responsibilities, ect. As the decades have rolled on; things have mellowed a lot. Some of us find growing up a lot more traumatic than others - for a great number of reasons. Trauma I think can be a causital factor or trigger for MH 'stuff'. But there are so many variables.

What else in your life could be effecting things? Do you use drugs? &/or drink to excess? Relationship problems? Stress? Job worries? Difficult family interactions? ect?
 
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Bruno

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
7
I don't uses drugs, practically everyone i know does tho. I rarely drink to excess.
I've been in a relationship for 2 years and pretty much the only problems we have is when i get depressed and i focus on all the insecurities that i have about the relationship, like the fact that we'll be going to different uni's in a few months, usually I'm really confident about making it work still, but during these episodes, i get really worried about it and feel a bit like just breaking up now because i feel i wouldn't be able to hack a slow break-up. Theres a possibility I’ll be going to study in Poland too, and I get stressed about that when usually I find it exciting. Its just like finding all the negative points about all aspects of my life and focusing only on them for a few days a month. My job also stresses me, but not on an emotional level, but I don’t think supermarket work could ever be seen in a positive light tbh.
 
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Dollit

Guest
That "mental hormone stuff" as you so elegantly put it doesn't stop just because you've passed through puberty. Ask anyone who's ever had depression or mania due to thyroid disfunction. Hormones play a big part in a persons life. And perhaps supermarket work isn't your idea of heaven but I know a lot of people who'd be glad to be able to be that well that they could work in a supermarket.

Perhaps if you try to concentrate on the positive aspects of your life it would help.
 
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Bruno

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
7
I'm sure there are a lot of people who'd be glad to be able to be well enough to work in a supermarket, I'm also sure that there are allot of people that wish they had food to eat. But if it was that easy to focus on the comparative positives in ones own life, then i don't think depression would be much of an issue in the western world.
 
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Dollit

Guest
I'm not sure what you expect of this forum or what answers you expect it to provide. Try focussing on what is positive in your life - it's pretty much bog standard advice when you get truly depressed. It's very difficult when you have positive things in your life (like a job and a home) but when you're on the minimum income possible and in debt up to your eyeballs and it's all you can do to get yourself out of bed on a morning it's damn near impossible. But it does help and you will find as you grow older that counting blessings isn't twee or easy or the whole answer but it is part of the solution.
 
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Bruno

Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
7
Two nights ago when i posted this thread i was really depressed, and I'd just been desperately trying to explain my state of mind to my girlfriend, and why i had seemed irritable that evening, but i wasn't getting anywhere and after keeping her up half the night she just ended up tired & confused, and i felt bad for putting her through that. I wanted to check, on the off-chance, to see if my symptoms were blatantly consistent with any condition, but now i know it doesn't work like that.

Next time i get especially depressed, I'll make a note of my symptoms and write how i feel, like you suggested. And i expect sometime soon after that I'll book an appointment.

Thank you both for your time
 
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Apotheosis

Guest
Feel free to use this forum to vent & discus the issues in you life & your thoughts. This is a MH support forum. Maybe start a Journal; in the Journal section of the site - it can help.

It sounds like you are going through a lot of change - I don't do change well & it can induce a lot of stress - we all deal with stress differently. It also appears that there are pressures as to what to do, & who to be in life.

Things are relative. Earlier this week I had black & suicidal thoughts. I don't get suicidal; not any more - I just think about it when I feel very low & negative. I don't act on them; it is like everything becomes utterly pointless & death appears preferable. The past few days I have felt better again. When I am in a very negative space I am not grateful for anything. When I feel better I can be thankful for many things. When I'm very negative; it doesn't make me feel better to think that close to 4 Billion people on the planet are starving to death; it makes me feel worse. I couldn't work in a supermarket - it would make me 'iller'.
 
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