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Mania aftermath

Ruma55

Ruma55

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
56
Location
Southern Maryland
How do you deal with the aftermath of a manic episode? I'm coming down from a month long manic episode and I'm in a bad place. I spent $6000 on random stuff on Amazon and now I have no money to pay bills, and my voice is completely gone from talking to myself and having conversations with people who weren't there.

I've been on meds that I take faithfully and I've been stable for years I don't know what happened. I'm really sad and physically worn out today, and I'm embarrassed. My kids are looking at me like I'm insane. Who knows what else I screwed up.

No one I know knows that I'm bipolar, they wouldn't understand if they did. I'm just in a bad place today and have no one to talk to about it. Can anyone relate?
 
S

sadgirl

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2012
Messages
2,264
Location
in my own private hell
Hi ruma55 I'm sorry that things are not going well for you are you able to return some of the stuff you ordered from amazon
 
Zana

Zana

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
156
Location
England
Hi Ruma,

The guilt of the relationships I've ruined and some of things I've done will never leave me and to be honest I'm lucky to never have been hospitalised or put behind bars. The things that troubled me most I kept hidden because I was scared of hurting those closest to me; that they wouldn't understand and hate me. The opposite happened, and they understood (eventually) and accepted me for trying my best to manage this illness. You might think nobody will understand but you might just be surprised.

Hopefully you can return those Amazon items; have you tried setting up a limited access savings account that you can use to keep some money safe just in case this happens again? It's worth talking what happened with your doc, maybe your meds need adjusting.

Finally, props to you for talking about it and also for raising kids with this illness - you must be one tough cookie!

God bless x
 
Ruma55

Ruma55

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
56
Location
Southern Maryland
Hi Ruma,

The guilt of the relationships I've ruined and some of things I've done will never leave me and to be honest I'm lucky to never have been hospitalised or put behind bars. The things that troubled me most I kept hidden because I was scared of hurting those closest to me; that they wouldn't understand and hate me. The opposite happened, and they understood (eventually) and accepted me for trying my best to manage this illness. You might think nobody will understand but you might just be surprised.

Hopefully you can return those Amazon items; have you tried setting up a limited access savings account that you can use to keep some money safe just in case this happens again? It's worth talking what happened with your doc, maybe your meds need adjusting.

Finally, props to you for talking about it and also for raising kids with this illness - you must be one tough cookie!

God bless x
Thanks for your response, it sounds like you have a really good support network and that's really important - it helps to have people close to you that understand and can help you watch for triggers and whatnot. The only family I have is my parents and they're not supportive. They think bipolar disorder is bullsh*t and that I'm just an irresponsible, lazy person. And my mom is an RN, you'd think she'd know better.

The savings account is a good idea, I'm going to have to set something like that up. I've been returning what I can on Amazon but I'm having a hard time getting off the couch and packing stuff up. I'm just really tired and sad and broke, I also have a pretty significant opiate addiction I'm trying to kick (unsuccessfully). This forum is cool I'm glad I found it. I have absolutely no one to talk to about any of this.
 
Zana

Zana

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
156
Location
England
Are you a religious person at all? If so there will be church groups nearby you can connect with, and if not I'm sure there will be mental health charities/groups nearby waiting to welcome you with open arms. I've not attended any myself but my Mum finally plucked up the courage to go to one and it changed her life for the better!

Could you sit your parents down with your psychiatrist/doctor and see if having a group discussion helps?

Been there too with addiction; it's f*cking tough but you can overcome it. There are groups out there to help with that too. I managed to kick weed and cocaine on my own but still getting there with alcohol. I think the key is to learn to love yourself enough that you don't need to use these awful substances.

All the best!
 
B

Berg

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 10, 2020
Messages
47
Location
UK
Hi Ruma,

Been there done that and unfortunately got the T-shirt :( I am so sorry and hope your mania comedown isn’t too severe. Not sure if you have done this but I recommend contacting your bank and making them aware of your illness- I did it a couple of years ago and they were really kind in refunding unarranged overdraft fees and contacting me when my spending seemed suspicious (ie too much of it) moving forward to try and stop transactions/ help me out.

I got myself into so much debt that I’m now unable to get credit which as bad as it sounds is actually a blessing in disguise because I’ve now trained myself with much discipline to channel my mania in other directions (being creative and making art that is actually woefully bad but in the moment I think it’s the second coming and I’m a genius plus lots of exercise/meditation, opening myself up spiritually etc) of course none of it is ideal and I’d rather just have a stable mood and function as a normal person but the way I now handle the episodes are less destructive than the spending I used to do.

Been there with addition too - reckless spending and cocaine binges went hand in hand with my manic episodes for a couple of years and then fuelled months of depression, loss of friends, jobs etc...but you know what? You’ll get there. Be kind to yourself and don’t apply pressure - just take it day by day.

Plus, as we all know manic episodes can be sudden but I’ve found ways to retain some control and hope you can too.
 
Zana

Zana

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
156
Location
England
Thought I was finally coming out of this mixed episode that's been going on maybe 5 weeks now. Moods started to stabilise for a few days, then got so depressed I barely got out of bed for 2 days, and then went walking around my town barefoot in the middle of the night yelling 'I'm the king of the jungle!'.

Landed up at my Mum's place with her, my sister, a police psychiatrist and 2 police officers all listening to me relentlessly talking, plus 2 more police outside in case I did a runner. Remember feeling like nothing around me was real. I knew it was, but it didn't feel like it; such a weird feeling to describe. Guess it's like you're playing your crazy life in a VR headset. Landed up with three broken knuckles but luckily my feet weren't too bad. Loaded up on sedatives but slept maybe 3 hrs in 2 days.

How quickly it can change from feeling like you're in control and everything is going great to being completely out of control. Not sure how much more my family will take of this - reckon i'll be sectioned if I lose it again.
 
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