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Managing both BPD and physical disablity... any advice?

M

MrrChronic

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Maidstone
Hello all and I hope all is well.
I am looking for people's advice or suggestions with a particular situation I have been battling for some time now and I want to know how others deal with similar senarios. I am really going to simply things down so all who read this don't get a head ache and they are able to offer clear advice :)

So basically, I have been very mental illness with BPD for several years now but a couple of years back, I developed a type of 'Functional Neurological Disorder (FND)' which has fucked my brain and body chemisty, and I am in constant chronic pain and becoming more and more disabled by the day. I have also had some tough conversations with the doctors, and we now know nothing can be done, and I will become more and more disabled and ill due to my neuro condition.

Despite this, I want to live life to the max, even though I can't, but this thought process keeps racing round my mind and I want some reasureance on this please.

Since I can't work and house-bound, what is my purpose? Justification? Reason to exist?
These questions and similar thought processes keep bouncing round my mind and I am finding it harder by the day to reasure myself what I am doing is good and positive for my wellbeing, despite becoming physically more disabled by the day, and having to manage my mental health along-side this extra battle.
I find it very hard to justify to myself what I am doing (treatments, therapies, life and routine) is 'right' and my personal routine and management is enough.

What advise, guidance and ideas could you offer which could help me look at my situation and experience of BPD and disablity differently?

Thank you in advance <3
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
6,841
Location
England
Hello and welcome to the forum. I am so sorry you are going through this. I do not have a physical disability but I feel I can answer your post as I have several mental health conditions which leave me unable to work or do the usual things people do.

Working is not all a person is. You may not be able to work but you still have a purpose. Your purpose can be to find things you enjoy, or something else you may choose. It is hard being house bound. I have not been outside since April.

You said you need to justify your treatments. Any condition needs treating. If you were an athlete and had an injury it would need treatment. You are worthy of treatment. With treatment you can gain more control of the bpd symptoms which will give you a better quality of life.

Do you know what is wondering? You said you want to live life to the max. That shows so much hope. I personally have not known anybody with bpd say that before so this just goes to show how much your life is worth living.
 
M

MrrChronic

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Maidstone
Hi guys,

Firstly,
Have you come across this site---
m
Thank you for this resource, I will look more into this!

And,
Hello and welcome to the forum. I am so sorry you are going through this. I do not have a physical disability but I feel I can answer your post as I have several mental health conditions which leave me unable to work or do the usual things people do.

Working is not all a person is. You may not be able to work but you still have a purpose. Your purpose can be to find things you enjoy, or something else you may choose. It is hard being house bound. I have not been outside since April.

You said you need to justify your treatments. Any condition needs treating. If you were an athlete and had an injury it would need treatment. You are worthy of treatment. With treatment you can gain more control of the bpd symptoms which will give you a better quality of life.

Do you know what is wondering? You said you want to live life to the max. That shows so much hope. I personally have not known anybody with bpd say that before so this just goes to show how much your life is worth living.
thank you for this, was lovely to read.

I guess what I am finding hard is structure. I have been ill with BPD for years but I had school, college, work or a full time Dad, so I felt like I had 'a reason' and I was getting benefits for carrying out 'duties' like education or full time parenting.
But now I don't have that, which as I am sure you understand that it agrevates my symptoms. It's just hard because I like to have 'justifcations' to what I do.

I guess I am being paid to 'be ill', but I don't want to be ill. I was able to manage my mental health but then with the added difficulties with my physical health, it's just got to much and most days I am struggling to survive, let alone get on with things I enjoy.

Thank you dudes/dudets again.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
6,841
Location
England
I know with bpd we often feel worthless without validation. It sounds like work or fatherly duties gave you that.
 
M

MrrChronic

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Maidstone
I know with bpd we often feel worthless without validation. It sounds like work or fatherly duties gave you that.
I think with any of us human, we are a cog in a machine but when your not a 'cog', its very hard to find what 'machine' you're meant to work in.
Since my life is limited and I know my 'faint', its made this new jounry for me more difficult as I never expected this and it has changed every aspect of my life. For example, by now, I would be in full time employment, would of had another child and be married but now all that is impossible.

Thank you for your response.
 
A

aisha23

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
1,375
Location
UK
Hello all and I hope all is well.
I am looking for people's advice or suggestions with a particular situation I have been battling for some time now and I want to know how others deal with similar senarios. I am really going to simply things down so all who read this don't get a head ache and they are able to offer clear advice :)

So basically, I have been very mental illness with BPD for several years now but a couple of years back, I developed a type of 'Functional Neurological Disorder (FND)' which has fucked my brain and body chemisty, and I am in constant chronic pain and becoming more and more disabled by the day. I have also had some tough conversations with the doctors, and we now know nothing can be done, and I will become more and more disabled and ill due to my neuro condition.

Despite this, I want to live life to the max, even though I can't, but this thought process keeps racing round my mind and I want some reasureance on this please.

Since I can't work and house-bound, what is my purpose? Justification? Reason to exist?
These questions and similar thought processes keep bouncing round my mind and I am finding it harder by the day to reasure myself what I am doing is good and positive for my wellbeing, despite becoming physically more disabled by the day, and having to manage my mental health along-side this extra battle.
I find it very hard to justify to myself what I am doing (treatments, therapies, life and routine) is 'right' and my personal routine and management is enough.

What advise, guidance and ideas could you offer which could help me look at my situation and experience of BPD and disablity differently?

Thank you in advance <3

hey

first off, thanks for posting this. I'm in a same situation as you- I was born without proper use of my lower body, and require full-time, 24 hour care by a live in carer. we too, have got the news that nothing can be done, and, like you, each day my care needs seem to be getting worse

I now also have my bipolar diagnoses, which is tricky to deal with too.

I don't really have advice for you. in my case, me and my carer just try to make the best of things- we play a lot of board games at home, we watch a lot of tv, we plan things for halloween and christmas, going out is something we do- but we have to be practical. I'm in a wheelchair so we need to go somewhere accessible. I can't handle long journeys so it needs to be a short distance. their needs to be plenty of private areas in case I need my carer to attend to me. it needs to be somewhere we'll both enjoy (I like going to the park sometimes to watch the kids playing, or to the cafe for a coca-cola)

as for my future, again, like you, it's looking bleak. I'm 24 and I can't dress myself. I can't shower myself. I can't transfer to things like beds or chairs, I do need 24- hour care, and this is how it is for me now

this is a very long post (I think the longest I have ever posted on this forum), but my heart really goes out to you

and it's nice to find someone in the same situation. it's always nice when someone comes along and says yep, I know what you are going through
 
M

MrrChronic

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2020
Messages
4
Location
Maidstone
ach day my car
aisha23
Firstly, that really pulled on my heart strings. I feel that even though you might be 'ahead of me' when it comes to disablity, we have both been at 'square one' so thank you for sharing.
In one way it makes me feel bad and really puts my 'issues' into perspective but in another way, it's nice to know that you still appceitate where I'm at and where I am going so thank you for your honesty and accesptance.

I know your message is more sharing your struggles but sounds like you have adapted very well.

But if I can ask a more intrusive question - what 'keeps you going' and to be so strong in your current situation?

Thank you once more.
 
A

aisha23

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
1,375
Location
UK
aisha23
Firstly, that really pulled on my heart strings. I feel that even though you might be 'ahead of me' when it comes to disablity, we have both been at 'square one' so thank you for sharing.
In one way it makes me feel bad and really puts my 'issues' into perspective but in another way, it's nice to know that you still appceitate where I'm at and where I am going so thank you for your honesty and accesptance.

I know your message is more sharing your struggles but sounds like you have adapted very well.

But if I can ask a more intrusive question - what 'keeps you going' and to be so strong in your current situation?

Thank you once more.
my carer, I guess is the main one. if it wasn't for my carer, I couldn't be me- I would just sit in one place constantly, hungry, thirsty, no one to talk to, no life experience.. my life would end the second my carer couldn't be with me (or find someone who could take over), trying to be grateful for simple things (I had a nice breakfast, I had help to shower, etc), religion (I don't know where you stand with that so I'll leave it at religion), and I suppose the knolledge that I only have 1 chance at this. I'd love to just lift up my arm and press reset and start from the beginning, I'd love it- but this is what I've got, and as long as I'm alive I have it. if I die, what have I acomplished
 
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