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male 26, seeking male, female, for advise and walks in the park

P

professinoal mood swinger

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Feb 19, 2008
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No I haven't confused this with dating site just my sense of humour getting the better of me again!!

I am in need of help really folks, Have dropped in to deep depression again!!
I have not been diagnosed bi polar but have been reading up on it and think I definitely have nearly all the symptoms and if I'm honest have for a long time but always lied to myself through fear of people thinking I'm weak and it looking bad on records when going for jobs.

The last few years have been very up and down with bouts of me not going to work not being able to get out of bed feeling useless, weak, thinking I'm not a real man and letting my wife down by being so venerable getting drunk in the day , not picking the phone up, not wanting to see friends and family not even my wife,contenplating suicide but deep down knowing I cant then feeling even more prophetic for not being able to do it,and feeling hopeless not knowing how i can lift my mood and when people try to talk to me it goes over my head I shut them out and everything positive they say I in my messed up head turn it in to more pressure and fall deeper in to the depression. I think what is up with you??????over the last three years you have got a new house new job, just got married it is supposed to be a happy time not the end of the world !!!

Then suddenly i snap out of it and I'm full steam ahead bouncing of the wall, Life and sole of party full of energy ideas up for trying new things complete turn around then I look back at the dark time and think god knows what happened there but your alright now so forget about it move on, distant memory and all that then wallop out of the blue the ground gives way and the black quicksand of depression consumes me and back to square one.

This week I'm in it again a it has quickly spiraled in to self destruct mode, I have quit my job by text ( very noble of me) and have ignored all calls from the boss. This started on Thursday when I turned up at the office (I'm a sales rep second time round only been there a month last job two years and feel this is not the best job for me as the pressure of targets is forever looming) I could not go inside sat out side for an hour in the car,and could not lift my mood so I drove home, I when in a stable mood am always chatty,happy go lucky, larking about so when I low people pick up on it and i feel vulnerable and fake if that makes sense. Friends would be absolutely shocked if they knew about my lows Cu's they always say "your always so happy and full of energy!!" (you forgot self despair/loathing, hoplessness,failuar and suicidal thoughts) I always detach from them when low.

Anyway drive home get drunk feel sorry for myself and the isolation process begins Wife comes home lie I have been sacked she panics that we cant pay bills lose house etc I fell more of a failure and scared of outside world and seeing people still in bed now hiding from reality and feeling hopeless

Sorry about the badly spelt war and peace novel folks but found this site today and am relived I can tell people that Maye have been there rather then my wife who cant seem to understand as she is trying but you know how it is. (i cant tell anyone how to swim across the Atlantic Cu's I never done it ..if you catch my drift)

So whats the best step to get help folks ????
Any advise
 
D

Dollit

Guest
First of all stop using alcohol as a crutch. It only makes things worse in the long run and will only mask any genuine symptoms you have. Secondly go to your GP asap and tell him or her everything. Print out a copy of your post if need be (it says everything they need to know). Thirdly - don't lie to your wife, she is your biggest ally and deserves the truth. That's enough to be going on with. Keep in touch and let us know how you are. :hug:
 
J

jooblue

Guest
I agree with Dollit; the alcohol isn’t helping and it sounds like you are acknowledging that in a round-about-way. You really ought to make an appointment with your GP, take a print out of your post and just let them see what’s happening; and how you can move forward; they may even be able to write to your employer.

You could also think about showing the post to your wife; I am sure she’s picked up on something not being right and once she knows the full story will be able to support you better. She’d probably be hugely relieved to know you are trying to deal with how you feel.

There are so many treatment options out there; life doesn’t have to be this hard. Go for it – you’ve contacted the Forum so I guess you want to get help & support and you’ll get bucketfuls here. You’ve got this far, try the next step and call your GP if you can today :grouphug:
 
midnight

midnight

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Dec 24, 2007
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hi prof

liking the name and the sense of humor too.

I totally know where you are coming from, I feel I get rapid mood changes too. For me its like ..... situation great I am relax ...yyeeehhh I can go with this and guess what I can laugh with the situation too, then the situation fizzes out and wham bam back to reality. Dunno if thats exactly what you feel but it is for me

I am not qualified to help professionally but I do know alchol is a depressant so save your drifts from reality for extra special times - like the weekend...and hey walks in the park are what you need to do if you need 'mental space' And if you can manage it keep going to work it helps keep up the front of a 'normal lfe' and reduce the potential of a self perpetuting downward spiral thought pattern.

I really really hope this may provide a jot of help, but I recognise these things are complex to sort out....keep talking that really helps
 
jackskellington

jackskellington

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Feb 7, 2008
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675
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Scotland
Hi prof
any news since your last post?
 
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