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Making friends

F

firemonkee57

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
8,222
Have you (a)Always been adequate/good at making friends

(b)Adequate/good at making friends before becoming mentally ill
but not after.

(c) Never adequate/good at making friends.


In my case the answer is C.Sometimes i'm content with my own company.I think mentally ill or not we all have need for our own space from time to time. Sometimes i'll make a conscious choice to isolate ie not go out much/cut back on forum involvement/don't go to my day centre activities.Other times i feel so lonely but find it hard to interact with others for a variety of reasons ie problems initiating conversations/sustaining conversations/fear of making a fool of myself/social anxiety etc.

Interpersonal/social difficulties/impairments are my most persistent symptoms more so than things like paranoia and odd thoughts that can wax and wane in intensity or even remit for varying periods of time.
Medication helps to make me less paranoid,less emotionally thin skinned and volatile when faced by stress,less likely to have odd thoughts but it does nothing to ease the interpersonal/social problems.
 
F

firemonkee57

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
8,222
Even if my mental illness abated completely i think i would still be a societal freak/misfit .
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
i can talk to anyone one2one, but when it comes to groups i tend to be less willing to talk or give an opinion in fear of making a fool of myself. i do have a very welcoming personality, but that doesnt mean i want to be their friend. i have lots of trust issues

as a child i didnt sustain friendships and spent most of my time alone. the only reason why i do have a circle of friends at this time is because i dont see them that often. they are 100% with me and accept me but i always feel i dont know the rules to what a friendship should be.

sometimes i give to much of myself and get hardly anything in return. other time i cba to keep the friendship going and just allow it to fall away and not care. i have a hard time asking for help and sharing my thoughts, i always hold back in fear of someone isnt going to listen or care enough or just be thinking of themselves, as i come second in the friendship. any slight negative thought about the person and i destroy any type of relationship we have. (always do cant stop that)

friendship is something i feel i dont understand and never will. :(
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
friendship is something i feel i dont understand and never will. :(
I can relate to that totally, I have an inclination to find a friend then totally suffocate them :(
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
13,758
Location
hiding behind the sofa
i can talk to anyone one2one, but when it comes to groups i tend to be less willing to talk or give an opinion in fear of making a fool of myself. i do have a very welcoming personality, but that doesnt mean i want to be their friend. i have lots of trust issues

as a child i didnt sustain friendships and spent most of my time alone. the only reason why i do have a circle of friends at this time is because i dont see them that often. they are 100% with me and accept me but i always feel i dont know the rules to what a friendship should be.

sometimes i give to much of myself and get hardly anything in return. other time i cba to keep the friendship going and just allow it to fall away and not care. i have a hard time asking for help and sharing my thoughts, i always hold back in fear of someone isnt going to listen or care enough or just be thinking of themselves, as i come second in the friendship. any slight negative thought about the person and i destroy any type of relationship we have. (always do cant stop that)

friendship is something i feel i dont understand and never will. :(
I can equate totally with that. . Sometimes i think im invisible cos if im in a group i seem to get ignored and i can repeat myself 2 or 3 times and still not be heard. I have been told by friends that i appear a very complicated person (whatever that means) I have a couple of close lifelong friends but usually either I give up on them or they get fed up trying to work me out.
 
B

BritishSte

Member
Joined
Sep 19, 2009
Messages
12
Location
UK
I can make "friends" and socialise but I tend to get on better with strangers or in a work environment.

I say "friends" because I very rarely consider anyone to be a real friend, and I tend to push them away at some point - usually because I feel they aren't putting in as much effort as me. I always seem to want a "full on" friendship or none whatsoever. Much like many things with me, all or nothing. I also have a cynical streak when it comes to how we all socialise, it's so shallow.

Having very few if any friends doesn't bother me so much I guess, I'm introverted as it is... I can talk to people perfectly fine, and people say I'm quite charming - I just rarely choose to socialise, it drains me.
 
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