C
cat_lady1989
New member
Hi everyone,
For a most of my life I have struggled making friends, but I’ve always wished I could make friends easier and part of me has been envious of girls with groups of friends to go out with, go away with, etc. I have a few close friends now who I have known for 10+ years, but all the friends I’ve ever had have been the same, very outgoing and have picked me and perused a friendship with me, I have never become friends with someone off my own back, someone I’ve felt a ‘connection’ with and have chosen.
I’m fine at being friendly to someone new, it’s the part that goes from acquaintances to friends that I never seem to get past and I don’t know how.
I’ve also realised today (which is what has brought me here) is that when I do start to notice a bond/friendship forming I back off and get uncomfortable. I think part of me doesn’t want to get stuck in a friendship with someone I don’t really know, what if they turn out to be extremely toxic and I can’t get out of the friendship? I have been in toxic friendships before and find it hard to act on the realisation, I’ve also been the same in romantic relationships. I just don’t know how to break that wall down almost. It’s frustrating because I want to have more friends but I also don’t want people to be too close to me! Any help or advice would be much appreciated. Sorry it’s so long, I really appreciate it anyone taking the time to read this.
For a most of my life I have struggled making friends, but I’ve always wished I could make friends easier and part of me has been envious of girls with groups of friends to go out with, go away with, etc. I have a few close friends now who I have known for 10+ years, but all the friends I’ve ever had have been the same, very outgoing and have picked me and perused a friendship with me, I have never become friends with someone off my own back, someone I’ve felt a ‘connection’ with and have chosen.
I’m fine at being friendly to someone new, it’s the part that goes from acquaintances to friends that I never seem to get past and I don’t know how.
I’ve also realised today (which is what has brought me here) is that when I do start to notice a bond/friendship forming I back off and get uncomfortable. I think part of me doesn’t want to get stuck in a friendship with someone I don’t really know, what if they turn out to be extremely toxic and I can’t get out of the friendship? I have been in toxic friendships before and find it hard to act on the realisation, I’ve also been the same in romantic relationships. I just don’t know how to break that wall down almost. It’s frustrating because I want to have more friends but I also don’t want people to be too close to me! Any help or advice would be much appreciated. Sorry it’s so long, I really appreciate it anyone taking the time to read this.