• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

making friends is hard...

DanL15000

DanL15000

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I don't want a dog. Have to open the door to let them out. I don't like opening the door.

I want two angry feral cats to remind me of my ex's so I don't make that mistake again.
 
hicks

hicks

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A galaxy, far far away..
We've lived in this house for 16 years. I think I've exchanged about 10 words with the next door neighbour, and most of those were to complain about me playing my drum kit in the garage (one time!!) :D Fair enough, but he is a disagreeable git anyway.
 
hicks

hicks

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A galaxy, far far away..
@DanL15000 Can I ask you this - do you prefer to be on your own, or around other people?
I'll put my cards on the table and say 90% of the time I prefer my own company.
 
DanL15000

DanL15000

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@DanL15000 Can I ask you this - do you prefer to be on your own, or around other people?
I'll put my cards on the table and say 90% of the time I prefer my own company.
I can go up to about two weeks without needing to even leave the house. And then when I do go out, I prefer to be around strangers.

Funny thing is I love to take drives. Especially to nowhere that I have been. I actually feel less anxiety as if I am not only getting away from people I know, but also getting away from me.

I could well imagine traveling for the rest of my life, living in motel rooms and driving to places I've never seen. It would get me away from these familiar strangers.
 
K

karl7

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Jul 9, 2013
Messages
735
hi

i'm doiing better nowadays than i was previosuly, especially since i've worked out my gender and stuff (i'm non-binary which explains a lot)

anyways becauswe social anxiety is the bane of my life, of course it's stopping me from making friends easily.
i am trying super hard to message people using instagram so i can form friendships because i have no friends except an ex who traumatised me

but i am so worried that i am saying stuff wrong because they take ages to reply even though they said, unprompted because i'm not the clingy type, that they enjoyed talking to me...

i think maybe im just worrying too much?

i'm also worried that when they meet me in person they'll think that i'm weird because of the way my mouth moves. i've noticed in recordings on my phone that my head is very tense and my facial expressions and mouth don't "work" properly compared to other people. i think i'm autistic which would explain many things including this.

but it makes me very nervous.

i just want a friend.
im the same i have no friends and have been that way for well over 10 yrs....but i do have some advice....have you ever thought odf joining a mental health club.....these are places where mentally ill folk can go to participate in art creative writing, health management and group therapy to nname but a few activities ar else you can just drop in for a coffee......there you will meet nice humble understanding people who have been throught it......having social anxiety would qualify you for membership but if not enough you can just say you have depression aswell.....look in to it, i think it would be good for you
 
C

Charliedragonfly

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Jun 8, 2019
Messages
106
Location
England
I’ve had issues with friends most of my adult life. At school I was just another average person, kinda shy but had a good group of friends and I played football so was left alone by the bullies so school life wasn’t bad. After school/college it became worse. I realised I had a form of social anxiety when I started working at 16. I made a few new friends at my first job (still in contact with some over 20 years later) but interacting with management figures and customers was hard. Also girls. It’s weird because 2 of my better friends are girls and there’s no problems there but other girls I always found it uncomfortable to talk to them. I think in my late teens I realised I was bisexual so it then became hard to talk to both sexes! I’ve had a few jobs since and my latest one means I spend half the time on my own which is great for me. I’ve tried the online route for about 15 years or so. I’ve met one great friend and I’d say about 5 who I still interact with on a lesser scale. I’ve joined many groups and forums over the years but I always try to present myself as a better version of me. I don’t really know why? When I do get to know someone, I either shy away or if they don’t reply often I question what I did? I guess I over analyse things.
I don’t know what advice to give that would benefit but I’d say maybe just present yourself as “you” and then hopefully likeminded people will find you? I’m still struggling with my lack of friends but in a strange way I prefer minimal contact with people lol! The mind is a hard thing to figure out 😬
I can relate to the over analysing, even when people have outlined why they might take a while to reply. Online is definitely a good way to find friends, thank you, yes it’s a challenge to force ourselves to be authentic especially online when it can become easy to become who you think the other person wants you to be.
 

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