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Major depressive dx severe

J

Jimh

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south wales, uk
I can imagine you've seen the worst of drugs and alcohol then. Must have been difficult having a dad who was an alcoholic.

For me the two go hand in hand, I know alcohol has had a big part to play in where I've ended up but I've very much fallen through life and the lines between cause and effect are very blurred now. You haven't missed out by not drinking, it can cause a lot of issues and isn't for everyone.

Do you have any hobbies or interests to turn to? It seems like you know a lot about psychology and neuroscience but im not sure how healthy it is spending all your time either suffering mental health issues or researching them (not saying its not healthy, I genuinely have no idea).
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@Jimh
If I came from a functional family, i’ve neve beem involved in this fired....

I met lots of “functional alcoholics” who came to the clinic for DUI. I don’t know a clear line between functional and dysfunctional so well.
Most people are happy drinkers by watching basket ball games or football games on TV.

Yes I saw the worst of the worst of drug/alcohol cases at work.

I watch “history” “cooking show” and “cats” videos on YouTube. I don’t watch TV....no more everyday drama after work. I like to go to Las Vegas just for a little bit gambling, mostly enjoying buffet. I love music

You like “fishing” .... a good hobby to enjoy your quiet time.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@Jimh

By the way.... I don’t go to internet to read psychology....too much for me. It’s not healthy for me.
 
J

Jimh

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Joined
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Messages
119
Location
south wales, uk
@Jimh
If I came from a functional family, i’ve neve beem involved in this fired....

I met lots of “functional alcoholics” who came to the clinic for DUI. I don’t know a clear line between functional and dysfunctional so well.
Most people are happy drinkers by watching basket ball games or football games on TV.

Yes I saw the worst of the worst of drug/alcohol cases at work.

I watch “history” “cooking show” and “cats” videos on YouTube. I don’t watch TV....no more everyday drama after work. I like to go to Las Vegas just for a little bit gambling, mostly enjoying buffet. I love music

You like “fishing” .... a good hobby to enjoy your quiet time.
I'm not sure there is a clear line between functional and non functional, I've had issues in the past myself with drugs and always managed to maintain a job so guess was always a functional druggie but it didn't feel like I was functioning very well. I've known a lot of people with drug and alcohol problems as well and the ones who lose control always had underlying mental health issues. There are plenty of happy drinkers but I think these people are happy anyway.... the bastards lol.

Do you like to cook as well? Might be something you could get into if you like cooking programmes. I bet Vegas is fun, it's one of those places that holds a "you have to go once in your life" kind of status and I'd like to go at some point. I'm not a huge fan of tv either, I like documentaries and horror movies.

Yeah I love fishing, spending time at sea or in remote locations along the coast is the only thing that really makes me happy.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@Jimh

Yeah it’s true most of them are “dual diagnose” clients. Alcohol/ drug issues + mental illness.

Drugs and alcohol are everywhere. If your body/brain can tolerate them, it’s hard to refuse them. My body/brain cannot ....

I love to cook.... but no energy to do such a thing right now. I just barely survive or alive???

I’m living not so far away from Vegas...

I like documentaries and non-fiction thing too.
 
J

Jimh

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south wales, uk
Depression does have a nasty self perpetuating habit of removing the ambition to do the things we enjoy. I was struggling to keep fishing end of last year and can't go for another month until my injury heals.

Are you still managing to get yourself out the house from time to time? I find that if I'm able to get out for a walk it does a lot of good, especially somewhere with a bit of natural beauty if you have anywhere like that near you.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@Jimh

Yes depression is so bad by inhaling all our brain energy away....it’s not a simple sadness that lots of people think.
I only go out for TMS. I have to drive 40 mins to get there. I used to walk more but I don’t want to do this anymore .
 
J

Jimh

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Location
south wales, uk
Well at least you're getting out for that, it's better than nothing. I enjoy (not sure enjoy is really the right word) a drive when feeling depressed although it has made me reckless behind the wheel before. Do you have to go every day?
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@Jimh

TMS is 5 days a week, about 20 mins a session. At least, I get a bit of sunshine while driving. I drive very carefully since my brain isn’t “normally” functioning. As you say it’s better than nothing. I was attending a group session at hospital 1or 2 times a week for a while but I cannot do that any more since insurance doesn’t cover 2 treatment at a same time.
 
J

Jimh

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Messages
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Location
south wales, uk
Are there not any free group sessions you could attend? I started going to a support group recently but not sure it's for me, going to try one more session then decide if I want to keep doing it or not.

Do you get on well with the doctors / nurses when you go for tms or are they just faceless people. It can be difficult to interact with people but sometimes it makes me feel better.... although sometimes it also makes me feel worse.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@Jimh

I don’t like a support group. It’s not for me. Therapists were leading hospital groups. The therapist in the
“depression and anxiety group” was good. Individual therapy doesn’t work for me.... I’m in this field. I know too much. It’s sad.

What kind of support group did you go?

Fortunately, the TMS clinic i found is good. Tms Tech is Vietnamese and Tech Assustant is African American. Psychiatrist is Indian. They are all friendly.
 
J

Jimh

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south wales, uk
I'm not sure if therapy is going to work for me but willing to give it a go. Will you be able to go back after your tms?

Just a small peer group, I'm going again tomorrow but probably won't go again as not really for me. Just wanted to try all avenues after last year and see if I can find something that works.

At least they're all nice, I've had very mixed experiences with healthcare professionals and it makes a big difference when they're nice to you.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@Jimh

I think this clinic is exceptional. I talked with many people on the phone to find a TMS clinic. This one was the most friendly one. I think I’m lucky.
I have a mixed feeling as you do.

It’s hard to find a support group where you feel comfortable isn’t it?
I remember I had a chance to train group leaders a long time ago.

Yeah I want to go back to work when i’ll be ok But I cannot think about it with this condition right now.
 
J

Jimh

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Messages
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Location
south wales, uk
It's good that you've found a decent clinic.

I feel comfortable enough there it just doesn't feel right for me, it's s a bit too structured. I think I'll have to work late now so probably won't go back again. I'm not criticising the group, it just doesn't feel right for me.

Hopefully just a matter of time and this will just be a distant (repressed) memory. It sounds like you've beaten this before so no reason you won't be able to again.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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Woke up with a vivid and horrible nightmare. I was lost in the dream at night ... I cannot go home. I was sweating badly. Dissociated and depersonalized. I just want to die......
 
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