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Major depressive dx severe

Catty5

Catty5

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@Jimh
I think I wake up on Rem sleep in the morning. So I remember a very last dream so vividly.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@Jimh
I sent you amesage to “conversation”
Did you get it?
 
J

JCPraha

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I'm reaching the end of the rope, so to speak, so I am going to try ECT. Meds don't work for me anymore and I have tried almost all of them. So, for me, there is not much to lose. I can't live with this terrible depression continually. It is no life at all, and a miserable existence. So anything that may help is worthwhile for me. Nothing to lose
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@JCPraha
Hello
I wrote you in someone’s thread.
Yes I understand how you feel.
I support your decision to do ECT.
I know neither TMS nor RCT is a permanent solution but we’re so desperate by trying to get out of this negative loop.
As you say, we cannot live like this.
So miserable and unhappy.
I’m working in a mental health field.
(cannot work right now due to my horrible depression). I know no antidepressant works for 20-30% of depressed people. It’s so sad....
I’ve been on Prozacfor 12 weeks feeling a bit less depressed but i’m not sure how it’ll work.... pretty frustrating.
 
J

JCPraha

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Hello Catty,

I started my ECT treatement. I have to stay in a psych hospital to get it. The first unit they put me in was horrible. There were psychotics acting crazy and I couldn't stand it. Fortunately, they moved me to a calmer unit. I still don't like it, but I need to try this ECT and my insurance will pay for it, so I will try to persevere, since it may be my last hope.

Nothing is a permanent solution to this problem, but anything that brings some relief, even temporarily, is welcome. I can always get maintenance ECT once or twice a month if it works for me. I am optimistic because it seems to help at least 70% of those who try it.

ECT is expensive if you have to pay out of pocket because it requires anesthesia for a brief time period, so I'm glad I'm getting it.

Fighting this depression is a terrible struggle. Some days are so bad I feel like I can't go on. I will keep you posted. I did want to try rTMS but this doctor prefers ECT, says it has greater efficacy. We will see.

Like you said. It is not possible to live in this terrible state for a prolonged time period. At least for me. It is just too miserable. I can't enjoy anything. Can't think well enough to make sound decisions. Not effective at work. It is horrible. So, I hope this helps.

I hope your TMS helps you. We will see.

Take care. Let me know how it goes for you.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@JCPraha

I also wrote on your other post.
I’m so sorry to hear the hospital put you in the acute psychosis unit. I’m sure you’re stressed out.

It’s so sad nothing is a permanent solution to get rid of depression.
But it sounds good if your insurance will cover the once or twice a month maintenance ECT. You have a greater chance to keep your depression out.

TMS clinic says another round of TMS will be possible 3 months after the initial treatment since my insurance is likely to accelt it. Maybe again? I’m reluctant but i’ll do it if it’s necessary.

I have to go back to work. My clients are waiting for me. I cannot be like this for a prolonged period as you said.
 
J

JCPraha

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@Catty5 Yes apparently there is no permanent solution to this problem. I have been battling it for many years. I had it somewhat under control for a number of years, but it always returned. At this point it is increasingly difficult to treat. This is the reason I am trying ECT. I am in Europe now. I can't speak the same language as most people, which is difficult, but I think if I were in the U.S. I would have problems getting treatment since it is quite expensive and health insurance is a big problem there.

I really should work also, but I am in such a bad state, I don't think I can do it. I really don't know what I can do. I can't function very well any more. In the past I did very complex work, now I am not doing so well. Difficult to cope with things.

Did you finish your course of TMS? Normally, it takes quite a number of treatments from what I have read. It doesn't sound like it has helped you so much so far.

I really hope you can feel much better than I do. Take care of yourself. I am hoping you can feel better soon. I know it is not easy.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@JCPraha

I ‘m totally with you. I was working in “Mental Health” for 20+ years. But with my condition.. it’s impossible to do such complicated work. I’m so dumb now...
I miss my work and my clients. But how can I work like this??? So frustrated and sad.

I’m older....insurance didn’t complain TMS. Most insurance eventually authorize it in the US but it takes time and requires energy. As we’re depressed. We don’t have such energy.

If I didn’t have a very minor heart attack, i’m still on Lexapro with which at least I had no major breakdown as I have now. Lexapro affects heart.... I decided to quit it. I was on Lexapro for 15+!years.

TMS today will be 20th session? I don’t count it lately. It’ll be 36 session. I feel a bit better to be honest but not a major relief yet. They say effects are accumulative and takes times to feel.

We’re in a same boat. ECT is a pretty effective treatment for a long time. Scienticky proven treatment, not like TMS that is still inconclusive in many ways.
 
J

JCPraha

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@Catty5 I am hoping the TMS will help you. Actually I wanted to do TMS but the doctor told me he thought ECT is more effective. 36 sessions is quite a few, I suppose you will have to wait and see how it works out. From what I have read TMS also has a fairly high success rate. It has fewer negative side effects in comparison to ECT. ECT requires anesthesia and is somewhat more complicated to administer. It is somewhat of an ordeal to go through this treatment, but my depression is so bad, I will try almost anything, at this point, since the depression totally destroys my life. Let me know how the TMS is progressing for you. I am hopeful that it will be helpful for you.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@JCPraha

I also wrote you on your another post. I’m done for 23 TMS sessions today. I drive 40mins(one way) to go to the clinic. It’s a lot of work since traffic is often horrible in my area.

I have no idea if TMS will work or not. But TMS has no side effect. 13 more sessions to go.

ECT is higher success rate than TMS.
TMS has no side effect. Do you suffer side effects from ECT? anethetedia for each session is hard. Are you physically ok?

Their horrible depression totally destroyed my life too... it’s so horrible.
I was a busy professional before. Now i’m depressed and at home with 2 cats. So miserable. I’m not suicidal anymore now but I was in the past with feelings of hopeleness and helplessness.
 
J

JCPraha

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@Catty5

I am physically, ok, for the time being. Only some joint pain, but nothing horrendous, I can still walk. I haven't really suffered much in the way of side-effects from the ECT so far. Of course, I am somewhat dizzy with a headache after the procedure, but it usually abates in 3 or 4 hours. I don't have any memory loss. I'm just hoping it helps. It seems to be starting to help. To get 3 treatments/week I must be inpatient, which is not much fun, but I will try anything at this point. I have to try whatever is available. I can't live the rest of my life in this condition, because it makes every day miserable. I hope the TMS is helping you. It is worth a try.

All the best to you. I hope you are starting to feel better.
 
Catty5

Catty5

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@JCPraha

i’m waiting for my turn for TMS right now.

I really think you’re lucky..., no memory loss. Dizziness and headaches will be gone but memory doesn’t comeback for lots of people. But 3 times within a week sounds pretty hard physically.
Yes we have to do try anything to get rid of this stupid? depression that destroyed my life. I was crying by holding my cat this morning to be honest. I’m older but I cannot live like this. Life is so meaningless.

TMS isn’t invasive but 36 sessions. Today will be 24th. I can focus on things more and don’t feel the lowest of the lowest anymore but I don’t have any major relief ??? My brain is still so dumb
 
Catty5

Catty5

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JCPraha

How are you doing?
Did you finish up 3 ECT sessions this week?
How are you feeling ? Hope you’re ok
I thought of you.
I woke up early with sad dreams. Dissociayedz.

About TMS, I feel my brain was cleared up.
My mood isn’t the lowest anymore.
But myself or brain function hasn’t come back yet. I’m still dissociated. I have 11 more sessions. So much anxiety and fear tuning in my head
 
Catty5

Catty5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
3,890
Location
USA
@JCPraha

How are you doing?
Did you finish up 3 ECT sessions this week?
How are you feeling ? Hope you’re ok
I thought of you.
I woke up early with sad dreams. Dissociayedz.

About TMS, I feel my brain was cleared up.
My mood isn’t the lowest anymore.
But myself or brain function hasn’t come back yet. I’m still dissociated. I have 11 more sessions. So much anxiety and fear tuning in my head
 
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