• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Major/Chronic Depression is Hard to Deal With

PureLeaf

PureLeaf

Active member
Joined
Jul 1, 2021
Messages
26
Location
Midwest
I've been depressed for almost 10 years. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it's been persistent.

I graduated college and I'm a successful journeyman in my field. I have my own place etc. But yet I can't shake depression. One day, I believe I will but let me tell you some days are just tough. I have a hard time trusting anyone. I don't have friends these days and keep coworkers at arm's length. I have one family member in the state who has their own things going on. My life is loneliness on a level most people couldn't fathom.

Can anyone else relate?
 
Hardknocks88

Hardknocks88

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2020
Messages
462
Location
Modesto, CA
Yes i can relate. I would say try to open up to people more at work. For me since i have trust issues since i have been cat fished online and screwed over by some people i have met in person, I make a 6 month to a year trust period to see if a person is worth it in my life. Its kind of like work probation when you first get a job but for a friend. Do they keep not contacting you and date or hangout night never happens? (one of the most important parts about a friend). Are they trust worthy? Do they have class? Are they good to people? do they have manners towards the opposite sex? are they narcissistic or a jack ass? To they make you feel happy ,loved ,great and inspired? Are they a wolf in sheeps clothing that talks behind your back? Are they selfless and willing to go out of their way to help you? Just things to consider, i wish you the best of luck!!! Good people never deserve to be lonely and feel unloved!!! Digital hug!!!
 
Oliver2019

Oliver2019

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
112
Location
Florida, USA
I've been depressed for almost 10 years. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it's been persistent.

I graduated college and I'm a successful journeyman in my field. I have my own place etc. But yet I can't shake depression. One day, I believe I will but let me tell you some days are just tough. I have a hard time trusting anyone. I don't have friends these days and keep coworkers at arm's length. I have one family member in the state who has their own things going on. My life is loneliness on a level most people couldn't fathom.

Can anyone else relate?
 
Oliver2019

Oliver2019

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
112
Location
Florida, USA
Yes, I can relate... I have been plagued with major depression for 40 years. Sometimes, like now, I am barely holding on with fingers, other times I have been happy. The pandemic drug me down and my trust issues are big time. I have a good friend, also retired teacher and my youngest son and grandson live nearby.
I'd like to get out and volunteer again but terrified of the people. So much hatred, shootings, random acts of violence. This is scary.

Are you on meds? Do you see a therapist? I do both.
Is there anything I can do to help you? I am great at taking care of people 😌.

Sending you Hugs and positive thoughts. Stay in touch. I care!!!!
 
PureLeaf

PureLeaf

Active member
Joined
Jul 1, 2021
Messages
26
Location
Midwest
*edit @Oliver2019

Thanks for the reply! Ya, I too have my good days and bad days. I'm better if I successfully stay distracted. Sometimes I feel "pressure" in my day to day life. Almost like small triggers or difficulties and when you are depressed overall, these small instances can effect me more than they should.

Times have definitely changed. I never thought I'd see the day where I lived with a paid security system for instance.

I am not on meds and I don't see a therapist. But I might want to find a therapist to talk to. If I found a therapist, I'd probably want to know her whole life story. I'm not a big fan of going to the doctor's office.

How long have you been seeing a therapist and what have been your experiences? Also how do the meds make you feel?

Just talking helps man! I appreciate it. I'm curious to hear what you have to say too.
 
PureLeaf

PureLeaf

Active member
Joined
Jul 1, 2021
Messages
26
Location
Midwest
@Hardknocks88
Ya, it's hard to open up to others in general. We have different teams at work and I have one primary coworker who shares my work load every day. When I start to talk about things, he looks down at his phone and doesn't listen. He won't even reply sometimes at all.

Our office manager is the same way. I said something funny to him yesterday and he ignored me. When I said a second line, he said, "I don't care" and didn't even look at me.

I like my team and coworkers but I can't talk to them most of the time. As far as hanging out with them, they used to always ask me to but I've said no so many times, they no longer do.

That's a good idea! I like the 6 month to 1 year trial. I have a hard time feeling like people can relate with me. When I start talking deep, most don't seem to care.

But I'm always open minded to the idea of finding some people who I can talk to. Thanks! :)
 
I

Ian Haines

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 5, 2012
Messages
511
Location
Merseyside, North West England.
Opening up to others is a gamble. You can't tell how much opening up, and their knowledge of your issues, will backfire on you, one day. People fall out, people chatter behind the backs of others. While "in" the depression issues, you're the worst possible judge of those you can trust. You're not just picking people to trust now: you're picking people you need to trust, forever! I have found that, if given a choice between pouring my heart out to my identical genetic twin at one end, and pouring my heart out to a total stranger?...the stranger gets the vote, every time, because it's almost impossible for them to betray you, at some point in the future. Those at your work place?...not worth the risk.

Not on meds and not seeing a therapist? Ouch! You've quite the fight on, then! My own fight began 50 years ago. I was 10ish years old when I read my first book on psychology - it was a struggle. I remember the fight and I remember that there are few spoils of our type of war!
 
mar

mar

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
68
Location
Washington, DC, USA
I've had chronic depression since childhood - It's been tough - Seems like it's something beyond impossible for people to understand...
 
Oliver2019

Oliver2019

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
112
Location
Florida, USA
I am 70+ years and suffered this disease! for 40 years. In all those years the stigma has remained.
Very few people understand true major depression: snap out of it, try harder, what do you have to be depressed about, just think of something else, etc." are a few of the things I've heard in my life. Even by giving literature or listening to therapist at the time, the masses don't.

I hope you are having a good day, 👍
 
PureLeaf

PureLeaf

Active member
Joined
Jul 1, 2021
Messages
26
Location
Midwest
@Ian Haines
Exactly. I had to work over today and my neighbor saw me as I exited my vehicle. She walked up to me with her four dogs but once she saw my facial expression, she turned the other way. No joke. I figure that if my neighbors don't know me, I can't have a fallout with them. I will always reply and smile if they smile but I go out of my way to avoid conversation.

Wow... We can really relate man. I'm the same way. Strangers are easy peasy.
Thanks :cool: I should've started seeing a therapist after my fiancee and I split but I didn't know I was depressed until many years later. The first recollection of my depression though was a day with her but she was not the cause and it started beforehand. She asked me what was wrong when there was nothing wrong. Ya know? That's depression. I wasn't distracted in the moment and that was the issue and I started to sink emotionally at that instance.

@mar
You sir (or maam) are 100% and infallibly correct. I couldn't agree more. Having people I've known for 13 to 16 years respectfully laugh in my face and be disrespectful to me, after I was already hesitant to tell anyone, was a humbling experience. My own Dad, who is my one and only family member in the state, told me not to ever bring it up to him again. Tis why I said life can be tough.

@Oliver2019
Thank you :) I'm making the most of it. I had to work over a 12 hour shift but my mindset is positive. I feel lonely, like any other time, but maybe I can find someone in person to actually get to know. Some day.

What you just said made me tear up a bit man. I'm serious. You are absolutely correct. The masses, and even those who have had minor depression for small spells, have no inkling of an idea on what it is like to go through something like this. Stigma is a good word for it.

I'm one of the kindest people out there and I mean that humbly but boy did I tell off my family member when he laughed in my face in a restaurant after not having seen him in a year or two. I explained why I never called or sent cards, depression, and that was when he was disrespectful. I dropped a few f bombs and cussed quite a bit. He's known me for 16 years and has never heard me talk like that. Neither has my Mom who was there. I have my own back. No one else does so I have to.

If people don't understand, that's their own problem. Other people should have much more sympathy in general. No matter how little they understand.
 
Hardknocks88

Hardknocks88

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2020
Messages
462
Location
Modesto, CA
@Hardknocks88
Ya, it's hard to open up to others in general. We have different teams at work and I have one primary coworker who shares my work load every day. When I start to talk about things, he looks down at his phone and doesn't listen. He won't even reply sometimes at all.

Our office manager is the same way. I said something funny to him yesterday and he ignored me. When I said a second line, he said, "I don't care" and didn't even look at me.

I like my team and coworkers but I can't talk to them most of the time. As far as hanging out with them, they used to always ask me to but I've said no so many times, they no longer do.

That's a good idea! I like the 6 month to 1 year trial. I have a hard time feeling like people can relate with me. When I start talking deep, most don't seem to care.

But I'm always open minded to the idea of finding some people who I can talk to. Thanks! :)
I'm not judging you at all, that's what it is, you have a deep thinkers mind. A huge chunk of the population does not have a mind like that. They can't relate to people like that. Yep, its hard. I have interests in things like philosophy, geekiness (mostly asian anime, book novels and retro/classic games, im part of the anime waifu culture). Just be strong, try to seek out that good mate or friends as much as you can. You can even network for local philosophy groups maybe you might find friends there. Good luck. Be a spiritual warrior and don't let those psyche issues get to you!
 
mar

mar

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
68
Location
Washington, DC, USA
I always found it confusing and disturbing how help for depression in the mainstream
is talked about "getting back to your normal self"... What if you've always been depressed...
there is no "normal" to get back to... (sorry, rambling)
 
Hardknocks88

Hardknocks88

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2020
Messages
462
Location
Modesto, CA
I always found it confusing and disturbing how help for depression in the mainstream
is talked about "getting back to your normal self"... What if you've always been depressed...
there is no "normal" to get back to... (sorry, rambling)
People like us will never have those normal non-mentally ill minds, we just have to find a way to cope with our illness since mental illness is a cancer in our brain. I live inside my head once i have taken care of business, create a heaven within!!!
 
Oliver2019

Oliver2019

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
112
Location
Florida, USA
I agree with you Mar and Hardknocks. Those of us with chronic depression must learn (not easy) to be grateful for the better days, and hold on for better days when we're sunk in a black quicksand with no light to guide us. Believe me, sometimes holding on with my fingertips is the best I can do. . .
 
Oliver2019

Oliver2019

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
112
Location
Florida, USA
*edit @Oliver2019

Thanks for the reply! Ya, I too have my good days and bad days. I'm better if I successfully stay distracted. Sometimes I feel "pressure" in my day to day life. Almost like small triggers or difficulties and when you are depressed overall, these small instances can effect me more than they should.

Times have definitely changed. I never thought I'd see the day where I lived with a paid security system for instance.

I am not on meds and I don't see a therapist. But I might want to find a therapist to talk to. If I found a therapist, I'd probably want to know her whole life story. I'm not a big fan of going to the doctor's office.

How long have you been seeing a therapist and what have been your experiences? Also how do the meds make you feel?

Just talking helps man! I appreciate it. I'm curious to hear what you have to say too.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
M Break ups and major depression(s) Depression Forum 19
K Major Depressive Disorder with Psychosis. Sad, but not alone because...VOICES! :D Depression Forum 0
R How do you cope with major depression Depression Forum 1
M Sharing my Experience of Major Depression Depression Forum 2
M Major Depressive Episode Recovery Depression Forum 8
W Major Depressive Episodes Depression Forum 8
G I have a major sleep problem Depression Forum 29
G i have major depression disorder having no luck Depression Forum 6
IrishinUSA I’m New Here - Major Depressive Disorder Depression Forum 25
A Major depression - looking for advices Depression Forum 3
J Persistent, clinical, major lifelong depression. My story... need help and guidance Depression Forum 1
Z Major depressive episode and early pregnancy Depression Forum 1
R I’m planning on getting ketamine therapy for my diagnosed major depression but have some questions for people who’ve done this before Depression Forum 2
Catty5 Major depressive dx severe Depression Forum 221
T Major Depression / Treatment Resistant Depression Forum 100
O How to help my (ex)boyfriend suffering from a major depressive episode? Depression Forum 1
C ADHD With Dystemia and major dep episodes Depression Forum 3
S Suffering from sudden major depression (also OCD and anxiety). Almost giving up. Depression Forum 5
F Major Depressive Disorder while working full time while trying to keep a marriage together Depression Forum 2
L Major Depression: My story, my commitment to recovery. Depression Forum 5
maggiecraft living with major depression, social anxiety and PTSD Depression Forum 1
static void What's the difference between major depression and disthymia in bipolar disorder? Depression Forum 1
B advice please major depression and procrastination Depression Forum 12
A Major life change Depression Forum 1
C Major incident - dont know where to turn Depression Forum 12
D do i have major depression Depression Forum 3
J major depression and wellbutrin Depression Forum 1
J major depression therapy Depression Forum 1
M Help! Major depression or nervous breakdown? Depression Forum 7
A Major depressive disorder sufferers ??? Depression Forum 11
M New..confusion, memory loss, and other major cognitive impairments Depression Forum 16
P Major depression and winter Depression Forum 4
N major? manic? bipolar? Depression Forum 2
RainbowHeartz Depressed major trigger warning Depression Forum 6
F Irritability in major depressive episode associated with more severe illness Depression Forum 2
E Need major help with severely depressed friend Depression Forum 4
stejjy12 major depression disorder Depression Forum 3
M Major depressed episode Depression Forum 3
C Major depression after i let him use me for sex Depression Forum 3
L Chronic Depression Depression Forum 6
O Chronic Depression & Anxiety now leading to physical problems! Depression Forum 10
mar Lifelong, chronic depression, loneliness Depression Forum 12
M Mild but chronic depression Depression Forum 4
bluestar ocean If a person has one month of chronic depression does that age the face or is that not enough time to do aging damage? Depression Forum 5
A Chronic fatigue Depression Forum 1
K Overwhelming regret from an anxiety riddled bad decision causing chronic depression Depression Forum 5
C Chronic illness has me in a black hole Depression Forum 4
N Chronic depression Depression Forum 6
C My best friend is struggling with chronic depression Depression Forum 2
losingme1989 Depression & chronic illness Depression Forum 33

Similar threads

Top