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Major Anxiety and depression during early stage of relationship

C

Chest Rockwel

New member
Joined
Sep 28, 2018
Messages
1
I have scoured the internet for help but cannot find anything, or any example of my situation.

I’m a wreck, I don’t know why this is happening to me.

I’ve been seeing this girl for 2 months now, I really like her and she likes me, all the signs are there, apart from one hiccup, where she felt it was moving to fast and distances herself for 2 days. We met up, resolved it and it’s been great ever since. This was 3 weeks ago now.

Now my problem isn’t with her, it’s with myself, whenever she’d take say, 4 hours to reply for whatever normal reason I have no problem with, or calls me half an hour later than she usually does, I turn into a nervous wreck and I start to panic. I literally fall apart and can’t stop thinking of the worst. That’s until she does call or text and have we’d have a wonderful conversation ending on the perfect note. I’d go to sleep happy or spend the rest of my day skipping along the road or smiling at everyone until it happens again.

I’m alone in this and in some points I question everything, it’s a horrible feeling and I’m afraid to talk to anyone I know about it just in case they think I’m a psycho, it appears like it but im not. My problem isn’t with her or any of her actions, for god sake she hasn’t even done anything, it’s myself, and it’s ruining what is meant to be a happy part of my life, getting to know someone and spending time with them, liking them and them liking me back.

I am not possessive or jealous at all, I just panic a lot, I’m really paranoid as I have been hurt before and I don’t want it to happen to me again.

Has anybody had this happen to them? I’ve never experienced such crippling anxiety in my life, last night, she went out with a friend and didn’t text or call for about 4 hours, right? That’s fine, the conversation we had before she netbook her friend who is a female was perfect, planning our weekend, everything.

In those 4 hours which were the longest of my life, I was a nervous wreck, I couldn’t listen to music, I couldn’t go on YouTube to watch videos or watch my tv show, nothing appealed to me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. When she did text me, a shower of relief soaked me and it felt like I was falling off the Empire State and got caught by gods hands that were feather pillows.

This isn’t healthy and I don’t know what to do, am I in the right place?

Thank you
 
InfiniteRectangles

InfiniteRectangles

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 23, 2018
Messages
508
Location
Georgia, USA
I understand how you feel. You are not alone in this. When I first get into a relationship, I also panic when things don't follow a certain routine. For example, if they always call me at 8:00, but they are late and don't call me until 10:00, then I panic for those whole 2 hours, thinking the worst. I have been hurt before, and cheated on before, and I am always paranoid that it will happen again. I get nervous when they don't text or call for long periods of time, and I start to wonder if they are cheating on me. I never bring it up to them for fear of making things worse, but I do wonder if it would be healthier to talk it out with your partner and let them know how you are feeling. Or, if you can't do that, then maybe talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you find ways to cope with your anxiety. Are you on any anxiety meds? They might help alleviate some of these intense feelings you're having too. I normally recommend distractions, like listening to music, but you said that doesn't work for you. Sorry I don't really know how to help you, since I struggle with that too. I just want to say that I do understand and you are not alone.
 
InfiniteRectangles

InfiniteRectangles

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 23, 2018
Messages
508
Location
Georgia, USA
Kati Morton, a therapist on Youtube, has a video about this. I don't think I am allowed to post a link so I'll just tell you the title: "Neediness, Dependency, and Boundaries- Mental Health Videos with Kati Morton" She also has videos on separation anxiety that might be helpful to you.
 
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ntd92

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
1
You're not alone in this regard, as I am typing this I am currently going through the same thing at the moment and was the reason I initially signed up today, exactly the same word for word that you've described. I know that when I sit down calmly and rationally think about it after my panic has settled I think that it might be due to the fact I myself have too much time on my hands and I've become too dependent on my partner that my life has the need to revolve around her approval or constant encouragement and reassurance.

It affects my daily routines, my mood and drains all my energy. I wish I could stop myself and tell you some more answers but all I can offer is that you're not alone.
 
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