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Mad at life

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amber1

Active member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
43
Depressed and struggling to hold on to whatever hope I can find. Bipolar 1, was in a world of my own for four months, have now come down. As it's mostly depression that I experience in life, I am posting here. Seeing psych tomorrow, absolutely dreading that, he will suggest yet another med maybe, something else to erode my physical health while making almost no difference to my state of mind. I'm 52, I've had depression and bipolar my whole adult life and the effects have been devastating. Worst of it is, I brought a son into the world in the most horrible circumstances, he ended up in care from age 8, now he's 19 and suffering too. I am so freaking angry at life sometimes, it's not as if it's just me suffering, there's so many of us, that doesn't make it any better does it? OK I guess this is a vent, bloody mad at life.
 
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West1966

New member
Joined
Feb 2, 2015
Messages
1
I was also diagnosed with Bipolar,it took them years to get my meds straight,but finally I can see light at the end of the tunnel.I am in hopes the Drs will get your meds Right soon.I am here anytime you need to talk!
 
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amber1

Active member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
43
Thanks West1966, I'm glad you eventually found some success with the meds. With me I have to resist the temptation to isolate, it's always the intense loneliness that gets to me the most at these times. I allowed myself to disconnect over the last few years and when I was high and I'm really suffering now that I need people. Still on the good side I'm managing to read books again and slept well and peacefully last night. Evenings I tend to feel better and the sleep is a blessed release.
 
J

jeztepes

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 10, 2015
Messages
85
Thanks West1966, I'm glad you eventually found some success with the meds. With me I have to resist the temptation to isolate, it's always the intense loneliness that gets to me the most at these times. I allowed myself to disconnect over the last few years and when I was high and I'm really suffering now that I need people. Still on the good side I'm managing to read books again and slept well and peacefully last night. Evenings I tend to feel better and the sleep is a blessed release.
wow amber you sound similar to me except im a silly man ,,wish i could read books ,, but totally unable to focus
 
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Christobel

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 6, 2014
Messages
1,075
Location
South west
Hi, Amber1. It's certainly good to vent now and again. I think when my depression was in full swing it was reading that I missed the most. I remember thinking to myself, perhaps if I sit in the garden with the Guardian and smoke a fag (I'm a non smoker) it will help me to concentrate. When I went indoors again my husband said 'you smell of smoke!' Yes I said, someone has just lit a bonfire next door. :)
 
A

amber1

Active member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
43
Thanks Jeztepes and Christobel for your responses. Reading is great, I often struggle with focus too though. Like right now! Fed up and feeling overwhelmed, can't focus at all...sheesh, it will pass.
 
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