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whisper

whisper

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feeling really low, spent at least 3 hours of today ether in tears over really pointless and stupid things, i dropped a plastic cup and then sat down next to it on the soaking floor and cried for about 30 minuets and thats just one of the stupid things i've cried about today, i can't belive how rediculous i'm being, i mean i shouldnt even be bothering the people who read this with it, i guess its just things mounting up, the voices are much more frequent and loud, the flashbacks have been more vivid and difficult to cope with, the nightmares are much more frequent so i'm scared to go to sleep (ive had 6-7 hours over the past week), my scars are really sore and ichy although i haven't sh in atleast a year and the other thing that caused the majority of my scars happened 4-6 years ago, my emotions are all over the place, my weight has been yo-yoing for the past two weeks and i havent been to therapy (with agreement from the psych) because she diddn't think that it would be a good idea while i'm taking exams and then of course there is the exams themselves which i cant stop thinking about, i'm really sorry for posting it's just i've not been like this since i was taken to a MH unit, i'm really sorry i know i shouldnt be bothering people with my stuff sorry again
 
A

Apotheosis

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Hi Whisper -

Sorry to hear that you are feeling down. When I was first ill I used to cry for hours on end for no particular reason. Nowadays I don't ever cry, I haven't for years; I get a small tear occasionally, but that's it. I wish I could cry more, crying is healthy & it's a very good release of emotions. Thanks for sharing. I would reply longer, but it's late again & I need sleep. Keep posting - chat soon.

:) :hug:
 
nickh

nickh

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whisper - very sorry to hear that you are having a bad time. First don't be sorry for posting or worry about bothering people - that is what the Forum is for and you should be congratulating yourself for coming here and talking about things.
It sounds as though the pressure of your exams is contributing to how you are feeling at the moment - and I can well believe it; I have no idea how I would handle something like that even when I am having a pretty good patch (touching wood and crossing fingers - hate saying that as seems like tempting fate :)). So you have a lot of pressure in your life right now. Perhaps it would be a good idea to get in touch with your psych and see if s/he can fit you in for an emergency appointment? If not the psych then maybe your GP - it certainly sounds as though you really need to be getting some good sleep. In emergency remember the Samaritans are always just a phone call away (08457 90 90 90). Don't try to carry all your burdens yourself - at an absolute minimum keep coming here and writing down your feelings (and telling us how you are getting on).

:hug:

Nick.
 
whisper

whisper

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thanks Apotheosis & nick :) :hug:
yeah i guess its a good way of releasing emotions it just makes me feel a bit helpless and stupid, but i'm trying to look at it in a bit more of a positive way today,
4 hours sleep last night which is more than i've had in a long time so feeling a bit more rested now,
yeah i guess the exams are playing on my mind alot atm but i've got about 4 more days to revise in so hopfully i will get some revision done
gave my psych a ring and have an apointment for next week (after my last exam) so i guess thats good, and i've written down the samaritans number on a peice of paper
unfortunatly i'm still feelin pretty low atm and the voices & flashbacks havent decreased in frequency or volume, although finally got round to taking my meds (which i really hate doing) so i guess it's a step in some sort of direction
and its 11:21 and i havent cried yet so thats feeling nice :)
thanks v.v.v.v.v much for the help :):grouphug::hug:
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Hi Whisper - sorry you're feeling so bad at the mo - but it's really great that you managed to make contact here and its great that you are managing to do some revision. I've an essay to do for Friday and I just can't face it, so I am in awe of you! I also need to thank you as your last post reminded me to take my meds! Hang in there and keep in touch. :flowers:
 
nickh

nickh

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Definitely a couple of steps in the right direction whisper (the appointment with the psych and the meds) (y).

Nick.
 
blackdog

blackdog

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Hi Whisper, I'm really sorry you've been having such a bad time. I hope you get some rest tonight take care and keep posting. :hug:
 
whisper

whisper

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hi everybody thanks for the support :) just got back from a trip which felt like a really long trip (only fri, sat & bit of sun) on which i didnt sleep much (bout 1-2 hours a night) or take my meds unfortunately, even though i made a point of packing them and making sure i had them with me it slipped my mind which is not good so i've just taken todays which is making me abit zoned out :(, felt really low and tired over the trip and voices were loud and flsbks were vivid and frequent so i've not been feeling great, however i did get some revision done which is a pluss i guess (by the way honeyquince how did the essay go?)
unfortunatly i'm now getting really worried about the appointment with the psych as i've realised what is going to happen as they were waiting for my exams to be over before they started this work so i wasnt too stressed but now i'm really stressed just thinking about it, i'm really worried about starting trauma work it's now playing on my mind 24/7 as althought i've done this kind of work before nothing with this little amount of planning and not with this particular tequnicue so am feeling scared about that and worried sick about it
thanks again for the support everyone it's really helpful :grouphug::hug::)
 
blackdog

blackdog

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Hope you're appointment goes ok, take care whisper. :):hug:
 
nickh

nickh

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Sorry to hear that the trip wasn't so good whisper and that you are worrying about the psych visit. I know the prospect of a session can be daunting - though its not usually my thing, and I know it is very hard, it would probably be a good idea to try a couple of days of living very much in the present if you can manage it. Let us know how you are getting on in any case and the best of luck.

:hug:

Nick.
 
whisper

whisper

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thanks everyone for the help
did my exam yesterday and feeling a little better now that i've not had to worry about the exam and finally been getting some sleep (about 5 hours last night) so thats good
still feeling low but not as bad a i was before (i'm not crying over everything now) so thats good :)
thanks for the help everyone its been really useful :hug:
 
nickh

nickh

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Many congrats on getting to the exam and getting through it whisper :clap:.

:) and now you've got a nice shiny badge here too.

You are meeting your psych soon aren't you? Hope that goes well.

Nick.
 
blackdog

blackdog

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Glad you've got your exam out of the way and that you're getting some rest.:)
 
whisper

whisper

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thanks :hug: :grouphug:
yeah got my session with the psych today quite nervous about that :unsure: but i guess it'll be ok.....i hope :(
wow what's the shiny thing on my name bit of my comments? it's realy nice :)
 
blackdog

blackdog

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Good luck with the psych whisper hope it goes well for you today. :hug:
 
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