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Low Self-Esteem

J

JustinS1998

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2020
Messages
30
Location
Pennsylvania
I didn't know what section this post technically should go under, so I came here to the Depression section. I don't even know if this should be classified as a rant, a cry for help, or what, but this topic has just been heavy on my mind lately. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to shake the fact that I hate most things about myself.

My self-esteem has always been low, but it wasn't until recently that I realized that I don't even know if I can change that. I just don't know how to love myself. I don't like my body, my facial features, or my physicality, as I am an ugly, skinny, and small 21 year old who basically looks like a kid (and is shorter than some).

I don't like my past and the way I have handled certain situations. I don't like my mental state, as ever since I graduated high school and turned 18 it has gone severely downhill. I don't like my social life, as I have not ever had a girlfriend/relationship and currently have no friends at all. There are definitely more things that I am missing, but I can't think of them at the current moment.

To top it all off, when I was 17 I found out that I had Asperger's Syndrome, which explained some things but just left me feeling a whole lot worse about myself as a result. I have never really liked some of these things my whole life, but I just realized recently that I don't think I will ever like them. I just don't see a way out of this hole of self-loathing that I am encapsulated in. And then I wonder why I have no friends, but after thinking about it it seems obvious to me now.

I have a very negative outlook on life, and always portray a negative attitude almost all the time. I have no clue what to say or how to react to people's emotions, and I come across as rude most of the time (or so I've been told; I don't actually think I do, but since I have Asperger's this discrepancy makes sense). And on top of all that, how is someone supposed to like me when I don't even love myself? I just hate myself so much, and wish every day that I was just a different person. I don't even know if I should ask for help because I feel so hopeless, I think I may be beyond the point of help. I just don't know anymore. Thank you for anyone who read this giant ramble, and any response is appreciated.
 
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Foxjo

Foxjo

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
7,363
Location
Teesside
Asperger's Syndrome has so many challenges for you. No wonder you are experiencing all these feelings. You cannot help being the way you are.

How does your family help you? Can you talk to them about how you are feeling so negative all the time?
Please keep talking,
Hugs
Fox
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
590
Location
U.S.
After school ends it can be hard because the social aspect of it ends and for those who don't have things outside of that, it's a sense of loss.

People don't understand those with low self esteem. They think they're negative and rude when really they're sad or insecure.

You sort of have to fake it for the public. They say fake it until you make it. You'll see people start to respond and that could help raise your confidence.
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
497
I didn't know what section this post technically should go under, so I came here to the Depression section. I don't even know if this should be classified as a rant, a cry for help, or what, but this topic has just been heavy on my mind lately. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to shake the fact that I hate most things about myself.

My self-esteem has always been low, but it wasn't until recently that I realized that I don't even know if I can change that. I just don't know how to love myself. I don't like my body, my facial features, or my physicality, as I am an ugly, skinny, and small 21 year old who basically looks like a kid (and is shorter than some).

I don't like my past and the way I have handled certain situations. I don't like my mental state, as ever since I graduated high school and turned 18 it has gone severely downhill. I don't like my social life, as I have not ever had a girlfriend/relationship and currently have no friends at all. There are definitely more things that I am missing, but I can't think of them at the current moment.

To top it all off, when I was 17 I found out that I had Asperger's Syndrome, which explained some things but just left me feeling a whole lot worse about myself as a result. I have never really liked some of these things my whole life, but I just realized recently that I don't think I will ever like them. I just don't see a way out of this hole of self-loathing that I am encapsulated in. And then I wonder why I have no friends, but after thinking about it it seems obvious to me now.

I have a very negative outlook on life, and always portray a negative attitude almost all the time. I have no clue what to say or how to react to people's emotions, and I come across as rude most of the time (or so I've been told; I don't actually think I do, but since I have Asperger's this discrepancy makes sense). And on top of all that, how is someone supposed to like me when I don't even love myself? I just hate myself so much, and wish every day that I was just a different person. I don't even know if I should ask for help because I feel so hopeless, I think I may be beyond the point of help. I just don't know anymore. Thank you for anyone who read this giant ramble, and any response is appreciated.
hi justin.....im saddened that you feel like this about your life....are you seeing a psychiatrist or therapist.....i think they may help.....also this forum is a nice place to come, you meet nice understanding humble folk here who have been through it

personally my own life is sh!t......i also have no friends and never had a girlfriend (and yeah im still a virgin).....but things can improve in ways if you just remain positive..... i feel alot that you would benefit from therapy....it will help you
 
J

JustinS1998

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2020
Messages
30
Location
Pennsylvania
hi justin.....im saddened that you feel like this about your life....are you seeing a psychiatrist or therapist.....i think they may help.....also this forum is a nice place to come, you meet nice understanding humble folk here who have been through it

personally my own life is sh!t......i also have no friends and never had a girlfriend (and yeah im still a virgin).....but things can improve in ways if you just remain positive..... i feel alot that you would benefit from therapy....it will help you
Hey, thanks for the response. I have already tried therapy/counseling multiple times, but it just didn't work out for me. Maybe it was just the people that I was seeing, but it barely helped me. Maybe I will consider trying again tho.
 
J

JustinS1998

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2020
Messages
30
Location
Pennsylvania
After school ends it can be hard because the social aspect of it ends and for those who don't have things outside of that, it's a sense of loss.

People don't understand those with low self esteem. They think they're negative and rude when really they're sad or insecure.

You sort of have to fake it for the public. They say fake it until you make it. You'll see people start to respond and that could help raise your confidence.
Hey, I appreciate the response. I tried faking it until you make it, but that was about two years back. I don't know the exact word for it (self-defeatist maybe?), but I am a person that gives up on thing very easily if I experience failure or bad results, so I ended up giving up on that because it just wasn't working for me. Maybe I could try again, I don't know.
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
590
Location
U.S.
Hey, I appreciate the response. I tried faking it until you make it, but that was about two years back. I don't know the exact word for it (self-defeatist maybe?), but I am a person that gives up on thing very easily if I experience failure or bad results, so I ended up giving up on that because it just wasn't working for me. Maybe I could try again, I don't know.
You could start with finding things to appreciate about yourself. Are you kind to others or maybe to animals? Are you a good listener? Are you generous? Are you intelligent? Are you good at art or making things?

Think of your attributes--you do have them. Now, write each one down on a post-it and put one in your car, one in your bedroom, etc... Read those everyday and say them out loud until you believe them.
 
J

JustinS1998

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2020
Messages
30
Location
Pennsylvania
You could start with finding things to appreciate about yourself. Are you kind to others or maybe to animals? Are you a good listener? Are you generous? Are you intelligent? Are you good at art or making things?

Think of your attributes--you do have them. Now, write each one down on a post-it and put one in your car, one in your bedroom, etc... Read those everyday and say them out loud until you believe them.
Thank you for the idea! That is a good idea, and I am probably going to try it :)
 
M

Mert

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 19, 2020
Messages
69
Location
San Diego
Hi Justin,
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I know what it is like to hate yourself and it is a terrible feeling. I am sure you have many good qualities and are a very good writer for sure. Have you tried onlo\ine meetings? I go to several a week and they help me a lot. You get to see the people who are in the meeting but if you don't want to show yourself you don't have to. I suggest trying an online meeting with NAMI. Go to their website to find out how to get into an online meeting. I hope that helps you! I got on wed at 6pm pst and 6:30 on thurs pst. be gentle to yourself things will get better. Mert :) :hug:
 
J

JustinS1998

Active member
Joined
Jun 8, 2020
Messages
30
Location
Pennsylvania
Hey, thanks for the reply. Its good to know that at least I'm not alone. That online meetings thing seems really intriguing, and I think I'll check it out soon :)
 
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