Low self esteem, low self worth and past relationship trauma affecting my trust with new partner

C

Charmander

Member
Joined
Jun 17, 2018
Messages
6
#1
I've been in a LDR (long distance relationship) with my current boyfriend for almost 5 months now. We met online through a mutual gaming friend and just hit it off and before we knew it both experienced a HUGE connection - so we met in person and got together. We see each other twice a month, due to work commitments we unfortunately can't make it more frequent atm. We talk every day and everything with him is great, could honestly not ask for a better partner. But it's me, and my past relationship problems (I was cheated on by both my past bfs and was also mentally abused by my recent ex until I broke free after 5 years) that keep making my mind doubt things. My biggest fear is his ex, she broke his heart almost a year ago after she came back into his life from almost 2 years apart. She lives like 20 mins away from him, I personally feel she is more attractive and as his first love I'm scared that if she did what she did before and came back into his life that he would be tempted. This issue has even transpired into my dreams, I've dreamt so many times that either I have left/cheated on him or the opposite. I know being in an LDR comes with so much hard work and ultimately our goal is to one day live together but that commitment is too early right now and will come later in the relationship. I'm just sick of my mind pushing me to that place of fear and doubt surrounding him, he doesn't deserve it. He's done nothing to make me doubt him or question any of his actions. I just can't believe my luck, we have both said we feel like we're soul mates as we are so similar when it comes to personality/sense of humour/values and life goals. What can I do to see my worth? To recognise that she is past and I am present and to put my full trust into him as he deserves??
 
C

cookoo

Active member
Joined
Mar 16, 2019
Messages
27
Location
London
#2
I've been in a LDR (long distance relationship) with my current boyfriend for almost 5 months now. We met online through a mutual gaming friend and just hit it off and before we knew it both experienced a HUGE connection - so we met in person and got together. We see each other twice a month, due to work commitments we unfortunately can't make it more frequent atm. We talk every day and everything with him is great, could honestly not ask for a better partner. But it's me, and my past relationship problems (I was cheated on by both my past bfs and was also mentally abused by my recent ex until I broke free after 5 years) that keep making my mind doubt things. My biggest fear is his ex, she broke his heart almost a year ago after she came back into his life from almost 2 years apart. She lives like 20 mins away from him, I personally feel she is more attractive and as his first love I'm scared that if she did what she did before and came back into his life that he would be tempted. This issue has even transpired into my dreams, I've dreamt so many times that either I have left/cheated on him or the opposite. I know being in an LDR comes with so much hard work and ultimately our goal is to one day live together but that commitment is too early right now and will come later in the relationship. I'm just sick of my mind pushing me to that place of fear and doubt surrounding him, he doesn't deserve it. He's done nothing to make me doubt him or question any of his actions. I just can't believe my luck, we have both said we feel like we're soul mates as we are so similar when it comes to personality/sense of humour/values and life goals. What can I do to see my worth? To recognise that she is past and I am present and to put my full trust into him as he deserves??
To see your worth you should maybe think how you would answer your question if it was your best friend or someone very close to you going through the same thing. That answer and advise you would give to someone else you then apply it to yourself.