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Low confidence at home = nervy neighbours

M

mwake

Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
21
Maybe this is the wrong place to post this (moderators please move this post for mif it is in the wrong place), however I would like some help. I have a huge confidence issues. sometimes I lose confidence to be able to speak and avoid speaking opportunities even though i live with my girlfriend, I try to be economical with regard to this, and at the moment im getting away with it, but I wish that I didn't have to be be like this because this is not the way i really am!

I've been like this for a few years now, lacking the confidence to talk properly, OUT LOUD (normally)!!!! I always talk in a quiet whispering way, my girlfriend has picked up on it and told me it that I needed confidence, I agreed but also told her just the way I am even which is a half truth because when I am confident I am quite I dont whisper... deep down I know I am wasting energy on my whispering antics.

I gave up a severe cannibis habit because i started hearing things, I couldn't trust what I heard. I thankfully recovered from the worst of this, however i still hear neighbours talking about me in a negative way, and although my girlfriend says I'm paranoid, I know I can hear the neighbours talking and gossiping about the 'weirdo who whispers at home'.

For instance, I live in a apartment where the walls are very very thin and general chitter chatter can be hear at normal speaking levels. When I am listening out, I have heard my neighbours teasing me about the way i talk. and this has led to me becoming a whisperer but i am secretly depressed about this because i have a beautiful girlfriend who makes me happy but i cannot enjoy he company because she i am spending so much time whispering so that the neighbour can t hear my so-called 'weird' voice.

I realise eventually i'm gonna have to 'speak out' and get over the situation regarding the teasing neighbours but i was wondering if anybody else had been in a situation like this...if so please let me know. thank you
 
parker

parker

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
278
Location
Oregon
I can so relate to this post:redface:

I had taken up meth and got into it fairily heavy, i ended up losing my house and had to move into an apartment for the first time in my life. I had nobody living on either side but there was an upstairs apartment, and like you the flooring was thin:mad:

Of course on meth it was hard to sleep at night (i'd go many sleepless nights) so i'd lay awake and hear certain things. I couldn't quite make them out, so i listened harder and harder. Till one night i could hear what was going on, it ended up being a apartment full of people messing with me (7 in all 4 women & 3 men) Oh what great memories this brings me:clap: i remember cursing the walls and ceiling at them.:eek:

For me this ended up all playing in my head :oops: I ended up doing some pretty stupid stuff, so luckily it wasn't real people.

By the way i'm fresh over from the dissolved Intervoice forum, this place looks good:)

parker
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
:welcome: to both of you. I hope you both find the forum as friendly and supportive as I have. :)
 
M

mwake

Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
21
Thanks

Thanks for the replies!!!!!!

It seems that being 'quiet' isn't neighbourly thing to do!

I get annoyed though because i I want to be quite that's my problem.

I get pretty sick of hearing the self-righteous comments that people make too, things like "you should learn to laugh and not take yourself too seriously like me".

My neighbours actions are fuelled by the way I talk and carry myself... apparently I express intimidating body language and I'm passive aggressive, 'mean looking', blah blah blah...



Don't get me wrong, some of the comments that I hear about me are well intentioned, it all feels like a power game to be honest.

Nobody is perfect and if they were truly trying to help me through their talk about me then they would be a little bit sensitive about it.


In a nutshell, they think that I think that I'm better than them and so thats why they treat me like that. We all need somewhere to feel safe even if we are mentally ill... self appointed nice people shouldn't act that that.

Sorry, I'm ranting a little here, I know I need to change on some level but i get so mad and caught up in the way mentally ill people are treated sometimes, which doesnt actually help me as I need to let it go and spend my energy on healing myself. I have to learn to ignore or not take their comments to heart all the time!!!


Thanks again, mwake
 
D

diddypinks

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jun 7, 2009
Messages
1,946
have you had any help at all from a doctor and told them about whats going on with you? they can really help welcome diddy
 
B

BHoff

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
1
Hey, I have the same issue as you. I am being ridiculed on the daily by my neighbors and it's bringing my already low self esteem down even worse. What's worse is that no one seems to believe that I can hear them and they say I'm just looking or being crazy. But any movement or noise I make they immediately talk and laugh and make fun of how my voice changes and that I have identity issues. It bothers me because I know I do, I hear voices and my agoraphobia is off the fucking charts. But why do these people continue to mock me? I'm over being someone's punching bag or the neighborhood freak. It's killing me inside. I'm so happy I found your post. I thought I was alone. Anyone who likes their space and doesn't do much is an outsider in this world. I don't know how you can fix your situation (or mine for that matter) but I hope it helps knowing that there is another quiet soul in this world who appreciates privacy and is having the same problems as you, here's to going through the shit together.
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Feb 11, 2013
Messages
8,424
Location
under the Forum Troll bridge
Neighbours can be really nasty if they know you are different in any way or have mental health issues, and then if you tell anyone they don't believe you. At least that was my experience.
 
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