• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Loving somebody with Borderline Personality Disorder.. Article

amathus

amathus

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
16,317
Location
goodness knows!
Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder | Psych Central

'Caring about someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and bashed. Having BPD is no picnic, either. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time on the border between reality and psychosis. Your illness distorts your perceptions, causing antagonistic behavior and making the world a perilous place. The pain and terror of abandonment and feeling unwanted can be so great that suicide feels like a better choice.

If you like drama, excitement, and intensity, enjoy the ride, because things will never be calm. Following a passionate beginning, expect a stormy relationship that includes accusations and anger, jealousy, bullying, control, and breakups due to the insecurity of the person with BPD.'
 
D

Dottyone

Guest
All that just makes someone out to be some sort of hellish person to be around, great just what more people browsing the internet need to know, I give up honestly.

:scratcheshead:(n) seriously is this suppose to make people feel better because its just tipped me over the edge into rage, and annoyance.

Where are the postives about people with Borderline Personality Disorder, this forum should be posting positivity not spreading negativaty.

No wonder I live alone MH demonic soul that needs to be avoided.
 
Last edited:
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
This link might be useful to those who are in a relationship with someone who's in a particularly bad way or a crisis, but not so accurate the rest of the time. Plus, it's essential not to tar everybody with the same brush.

Not much of what is written is true of me.
I don't really do those behaviours and i'm way too boring to be considered a roller-coaster ride. :scratcheshead:

Then again, nobody's ever been in love with me (violins, please :LOL:) so I don't know how i'd be in a relationship. I doubt i'd change into the demonic bitch described in this article though.
 
Monroe1980

Monroe1980

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2014
Messages
148
Location
Ireland
This link might be useful to those who are in a relationship with someone who's in a particularly bad way or a crisis, but not so accurate the rest of the time. Plus, it's essential not to tar everybody with the same brush.

Not much of what is written is true of me.
I don't really do those behaviours and i'm way too boring to be considered a roller-coaster ride. :scratcheshead:

Then again, nobody's ever been in love with me (violins, please :LOL:) so I don't know how i'd be in a relationship. I doubt i'd change into the demonic bitch described in this article though.
You're not boring. You've got soul.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
You're not boring. You've got soul.
Aww thanks.:hug:
What I meant was, I don't really have extravagant displays of emotion as described in this article.
I'm more likely to not say anything when i'm upset, than fly off the handle.
 
D

Dottyone

Guest
I am everything written bad in that article and worse besides thats why it totally pissed me off.

no offence Amathus its just like a reminder of how hard I am to be around.

this is why a mess up all of the time, its because I am possesed evil and hate.

steer clear or get hurt.
 
Q

Quickduck

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 24, 2014
Messages
2,278
Location
No longer posting
I am everything written bad in that article and worse besides thats why it totally pissed me off.

no offence Amathus its just like a reminder of how hard I am to be around.

this is why a mess up all of the time, its because I am possesed evil and hate.

steer clear or get hurt.
I'm sorry but I doubt very much that is true. I've known a couple of people with BPD and I wouldn't describe any of them in that way. In fact I've met some truly delightful people with BPD, one lady in particular I met on here was amazingly funny, incredibly caring and I just loved being around her; she was a wonderful friend to me. She thought of herself in the way you describe, but she wasn't like that at all, she was and is absolutely brilliant and I'm sure you are too T.e.d.d.y. :hug:
 
amathus

amathus

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
16,317
Location
goodness knows!
I would say that the article talks about the more extreme aspects of BPD, I recognise myself in parts of the description, particularly when my problems were in full flow which was quite a while ago now.
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 25, 2012
Messages
14,164
Location
UK
Maybe saying in your OP that you consider it to be talking about the extremes would have clarified things a bit :peace:? I recognise myself in parts in it too, but if I read this sort of stuff (and I think I've come across this article before, I haven't read it this time), then I worry/convince myself all of it is true about me, all of the time. It's hard to get perspective. It's not very nice what it says, just in that short excerpt. It's a very particular, common but 'misunderstanding' take on BPD, not at all well-rounded or compassionate, very 'othering', and only a small part of the whole picture (and sometimes not even any part of it), imo. As T.e.d.d.y says, where are the positives about people with BPD, these need to be acknowledged too.
 
amathus

amathus

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
16,317
Location
goodness knows!
I believe it is important to remember that others may see those with BPD a little differently than we see ourselves, that is true of everything though I think. My CPN can recognise 'behaviours' in me that I am unable to see for myself or indeed which I maybe in denial about..
I agree, the article is harsh to say the least, what positives do you feel about yourself or others more specifically dealing with BPD for example?
 
D

Dottyone

Guest
I believe it is important to remember that others may see those with BPD a little differently than we see ourselves, that is true of everything though I think. My CPN can recognise 'behaviours' in me that I am unable to see for myself or indeed which I maybe in denial about..
I agree, the article is harsh to say the least, what positives do you feel about yourself or others more specifically dealing with BPD for example?
Sorry if I may have taken the Negative side of this post badly Amathus, it was not aimed at you but my annoyance of the actual description of someone with Blpd, I think we are all individuals no matter what 'lable' some Dr's decide to stick on our medical records.

I have very little control of my Emotions all of the time without any break, however I still am a nice person to be around most of the time and I can be funny to be in a room with and I think Blpd makes me more aware of other peoples Emotions which helps me be more comforting to them.

No one is all bad but that Article is not written by someone with Blpd, its written very negatively by someone who got hurt by living with someone with Blpd, it comes accross as a hate article.

Again sorry if I took the post badly, my Psychiatrist treats me like shit because I am Blpd and shouted at me at my last appointment, it was not the best time to read this thread for me.
 
amathus

amathus

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
16,317
Location
goodness knows!
Sorry if I may have taken the Negative side of this post badly Amathus, it was not aimed at you but my annoyance of the actual description of someone with Blpd, I think we are all individuals no matter what 'lable' some Dr's decide to stick on our medical records.

I have very little control of my Emotions all of the time without any break, however I still am a nice person to be around most of the time and I can be funny to be in a room with and I think Blpd makes me more aware of other peoples Emotions which helps me be more comforting to them.

No one is all bad but that Article is not written by someone with Blpd, its written very negatively by someone who got hurt by living with someone with Blpd, it comes accross as a hate article.

Again sorry if I took the post badly, my Psychiatrist treats me like shit because I am Blpd and shouted at me at my last appointment, it was not the best time to read this thread for me.
I agree with much of what you say, I have also been viewed as the 'life and soul of the party', but was also told I was manipulative, which devastated me. I suppose to a certain extent I am still in denial that I have BPD, quite a few years on from my diagnosis.
I believe that the BPD label is very damning and accordingly can make those of us with the label totally disillusioned and indeed negative in our outlook on life.
Also I believe that most of us tend to be highly sensitive people who have a lot of empathy and sensitivity towards others.
 
D

Dottyone

Guest
I agree with much of what you say, I have also been viewed as the 'life and soul of the party', but was also told I was manipulative, which devastated me. I suppose to a certain extent I am still in denial that I have BPD, quite a few years on from my diagnosis.
I believe that the BPD label is very damning and accordingly can make those of us with the label totally disillusioned and indeed negative in our outlook on life.
Also I believe that most of us tend to be highly sensitive people who have a lot of empathy and sensitivity towards others.
Its just not a very nice diagnosis is it Amathus, I think the stigma around it is just as upsetting and damaging as the struggles we have to suffer, I have also been accused of being manipulative, sadly by a Cpn.

I never normally read the Blpd Section because i am in denial too, its just too upsetting to read.

x
 
Last edited:
R

ricko4

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 7, 2014
Messages
179
Sorry if I may have taken the Negative side of this post badly Amathus, it was not aimed at you but my annoyance of the actual description of someone with Blpd, I think we are all individuals no matter what 'lable' some Dr's decide to stick on our medical records.

I have very little control of my Emotions all of the time without any break, however I still am a nice person to be around most of the time and I can be funny to be in a room with and I think Blpd makes me more aware of other peoples Emotions which helps me be more comforting to them.

No one is all bad but that Article is not written by someone with Blpd, its written very negatively by someone who got hurt by living with someone with Blpd, it comes accross as a hate article.

Again sorry if I took the post badly, my Psychiatrist treats me like shit because I am Blpd and shouted at me at my last appointment, it was not the best time to read this thread for me.
i was diagnosed this BPD and i have to agree with teddy we cant control our emotions i cant control my anger or moods im up and down like a yoyo but when im feeling tops i am very good to be around i only have close friends and friends are limited because ive chased so many away but i suppose its the BPD or is it that theres nothing wrong with us and its just that theres something wrong with everybodyelse?
 
Q

Quickduck

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 24, 2014
Messages
2,278
Location
No longer posting
I think I could get myself a BPD diagnosis; the traits mentioned in the article are also traits I see in myself, which is probably why I felt a bit defensive when I read it also.
 
Top